Never Again

I spent the whole day chilling. As planned. Check out wasn't until 3(!!!) so after breakfast I hung out in my air conditioned room in a horizontal position making the most of it before this stoopid bus later! I showered just before I left to try and stay as sweat free and comfortable as possible for the journey (hilarious, I'm thinking now!)

Round 2!
I got to the bus station at 630 (for my 8pm bus). Sat till 7 then started thinking about yesterday's ticket that I was told I could still use. What if the bus driver didn't accept it? What if it's a new policy and he didn't know about it? Either way I DID NOT want a repeat of last night. So I went up to the ticket office and checked with the guy there. I have no idea if it was the same guy or not (I hadn't paid much attention through all my tears). He pointed and said, "kytfjhgfhjhnybtjbnm;kdkhm mljuh;lj;lk'lijhtdryesxecshgfhgjlkj;iu; oiuycvvuychvjv" Well that's what it sounded like to me. Clearly my face made that clear to him and he said wait here, and came out of his box. He indicated for me to follow him. We walked about 300m across the road and round the corner to what looked like an old warehouse. I noticed an extremely old, dirty and small bus with it's windows all open (meaning no air conditioning) sitting outside. I hope to God that's not my bus I thought! He found a woman there drinking tarere. Pronounced te-re-RE, using the "e" from "bet" and with the r's sounding more like soft d's. (similar to mate but prepared with cold water and ice rather than with hot. People here drink it EVERYWHERE! In Argentina, mate is mostly drunk together in a social setting. In Paraguay, every second person is sitting or walking around with a huge flask plus the cup, sipping from it, alone and with others. I simply don't get it. Even if they have loads of luggage they are still seen struggling with this big stoopid flask and cup. In the bus station there were tarere stations. Where you can pay for the "loan" of a flask and cup (and straw - yuk), sit there drinking it then give it all back. I watched these sellers. Their hygiene skills left a lot to be desired. Oh well, each to their own I guess)

Sorry, anyway he said something to this woman and left me with her. All I could think of at this point was I'm so pleased I decided to go up and ask so early! She asked for my passport and punched my info into a computer then gave me my ticket back pointing over there. I said, "other terminal?" hopefully. She made it very clear that no, the disgusting bus outside was mine. For the next 24 hours. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooo!!!!!!!!! I put my head in my hands and sank to my knees. Not only do I have to sit upright the whole way, I now have to do it on this thing! I had to really try hard not to let the tears spill out again!

So imagine this. You're in a sauna. So imagine how much you're sweating. Then the door opens and a huge amount of wind comes in. Relief you think! No. It's not cold wind, but imagine a massive hairdryer at it's hottest setting. That's what the 25 hours was like. Yes 25. Not 24. Sometimes the door was closed, sometimes open with the hot hairdryer. Urgh.

The seat actually reclined more than I thought. But it was so small, and lumpy it was impossible to sleep for very long before I needed to change position. When I say that I mean move my leg 3 inches, not move from curled up to stretched out!!

In the middle of the night I was semi asleep when I became aware of bright lights. Lots of cars passing I thought. But I looked out the window and OMG what a sight! Some kind of electrical storm! The whole sky lit up every 5 seconds. Only sometimes was lightning seen and when it was there was LOADS of it! Sometimes horizontal! I didn't think that was possible! I sat there watching it in awe for about an hour. Amazing! I didn't hear any thunder but with my head out the window and the noise of the chanked out old bus I couldn't say for sure if there was any or not. I SO wished for silence so I could experience it in full. No rain came unfortunately and when the sun came up there was no evidence of the "storm" at all.

We got to the border at 5am. Here we go I thought. No entry stamp. I'm going to jail! We all had to hand in our passports (and in most of the local's cases, IDs), then one by one we were called into the office. I was last and felt like I was being summoned to the headmaster's office (which I often was but that's a whole other story). He bellowed, "Where is your entry stamp?". He spoke English. But in a somewhat Hitler type voice. I told him I was wondering the same thing. I explained about the bus not stopping anywhere for that to happen. He shouted, "It is YOUR responsibility not bus driver. You come Paraguay, you get stamp! You pay fine!" I tried to protest but decided a fine and a telling off was way better than jail so paid. I watched him put the money in his drawer and give me no receipt. Hmm. Nice little earner you and the bus driver have there. He exit stamped my passport and I was happy.

It wasn't until an hour later that I thought, OMG are we now in Bolivia? Have I just done exactly the same thing? No entry stamp? At the first opportunity I asked the bus driver. He said don't worry. Ok fine. Let's wait and see. Another hour later we reached what seemed to be another border. Some guys standing at a table under the shade of a tree. We all had to bring our bags to the table where each of them was hand searched (not very thoroughly I noted. Jobsworths clearly). I asked again where do I get my passport stamped. The guy said over there. Apparantly I was in Paraguay and "over there" was Bolivia (20m). I went "over there", where my bag was searched (even less thoroughly) again. I asked about my passport, he said later at immigration. I thought that's where we are but ok. We all got on the bus again and another 20 mins later we got off and I eventually got my long awaited entry stamp!

The rest of the journey was long, boring, sweaty and uneventful. I decided not to drink my 40% alcohol as it was corked and I would have had to drink it all, which I wasn't prepared to do.

I had the same feeling of achievement getting off that damned bus as I did having climbed Ben Nevis! There were 10 taxi drivers in a row all shouting at me to choose them. I didn't care. I chose the ugliest one, got to my hostel, noted no air conditioning, showered, had a gin and tonic and went to bed. Aaaaah to be horizontal again!