T'was the last day of the semester when beshy and I flew to Singapore City, on board on different airlines and landed on the same destination at almost exact interval. We seized the night together as soon as we arrived, then the day after seemed like a typical day where I enjoyed my own company walking and taking photos at the Marina Bay. In every step of the way, I couldn't get rid of my thoughts about beshy. Stared at him from afar, I felt my heart crumpled, and no matter how he hid, the shadow of pain was so visible in his aura.Sigh! As they said, time heals everything. Do you think so? because I do. I hope time flies and and he could learn to say goodbye to someone who has broken his heart and made him cry.

As we moved to Sentosa Island, he just seated on the bench without any plan. I felt like he was carrying the burden in his heart as heavy as the globe of the Universal Studio. I left him alone and walked around. I wish he had seen what I saw and appreciated those magnificent views I had glimpsed upon. If only I could drag him at that point, he would have an incredible adventure on the island.

Just when he took the train back to the airport, I headed for the Garden by the Bay. In there, I'd noticed the plant kingdom, which was presented in a whole new way. I still thought of beshy while exploring the lush greenery; hopefully he had regained his energy as he spent some time with his family.

At the Shiseido Forest Valley, I ended my SG discovery, going up and down in an indoor garden spanning five storeys inside the perimeter of the Jewel Changi Airport. Not long afterward, I caught myself staring at the Rain Vortex with a mind wandering thousands of thoughts. Why can't we be loved by the person we love? Why are some jinxed in love? How do we surpass these insurmountable odds? Unfortunately, I didn't find the answer right there until I've met some people who have broadened my understanding towards life journey to love.

One day, a new found friend, who has been working as an administrator in a Thai university, told me that the only way to survive from the whats, hows and whys is to BE FIRM to let go - a thought that at first I find absurd. Seriously? How could you still be so firm if you're letting go of the person you really love? After some time, it all made sense to me. Yeah, she may be right, but I guess no matter how strong you become you will be vulnerable at some point. That's when the other person gives you false hope. Why can't someone be just a man enough to reject? As for me, it's more cruel to give someone false hope than telling the bitter truth. While this may be true, this reason is not persuasive to the identity crisis. Ajarn once punned, "If I can't have him, at least other ladies can't have him too!" This line may sound funny to her, but it is what it is. When you read between the line, you'll find the bitterness which, for sure, wouldn't make anybody happy.

If you really love someone, give him the freedom to choose what they want to be and whom they want to be with and to do the things that could make him happy. In that way, you'd also be happy and you are able to live the life free from guilt and stress. Having courage to embrace celibacy ain't bad at all. Being single doesn't mean you're lonely; it shows you are strong enough to live the life you want to the fullest all by yourself. I hope that one day, beshy would be strong enough to face that reality.

The essence of happiness after all is seeing those whom you love HAPPY!