Hi Kids,

yet again, I find myself telling you in frank admission how utterly s*** I am at this whole blogging thing. Yes, I'm useless. I apologise. Some of you may say that it's too late to apologise. But I'll apologise anyway. I'm sorry. As each day passed I forgot what happened the day before so I havent really made my task any easier. I'll try my best though.

After leaving Krabi town, I jumped into a mini bus and made my way to the frankly awful port of Surat Thani. This involved an argument with a s*** travel agent and a tuk tuk driver who took me to the wrong place despite assuring me I was in the correct location. b******. It turned out that all the top deck tickets fot the boat to Ko Phang Nan had been sold so I found myself on the bottom deck amonst the chickens, eggs, motorbokes and about 80 other people. All part of this wonderful journey that I'm on though. It's the circle of life. It's the wheel of fortune. By some massive flook I managed to meet a friend that I had met in australia at the port so that was good. She's called Carmen and is from Australia. The lucky b**** had a ticket for the top deck. Having said that, I slept surprisingly well. Getting off the boat at 5.30am without a place to stay, 2 days before the ubiqutous full moon party is not an experience to be savoured. By some massive fluke we ended up at a resort with quite a good room with a mud view and a pool for a meagre 300 baht which was good. My memories of Ko Phagn Nan are somewhat sketchy as beer seems to be more common than water so I tend to drink quite a lot of that. Chang is a personal favourite. I also met a group of girls from essex that I am still travelling with at the moment. Heidi, Sarah and Tara. We also met an Irish bloke at the resort who we travelled with for a while. He is called Pearse. Like that irish bond bloke.

Anyways, the full moon party came along and I managed to drink myself into quite an impressive stupor so that by 1.30 am, I had to be sent home. How I managed to get home, I have no idea. We decided to hit the heady heights of the quite ghastly Ko samui. It pissed it down so for some reason we decided to go Go Karting. Where this decision came from I have no idea but I was more than happy to tear up the track and leave the rest of them in my wake. Ko samui, was pretty much a complete dump full of awful western bars, cheap people from rough towns in england and dirty dirty ladyboys. Cringe cringe cringe. We were glad to get back to Ko Phagn nan. Tuk tuk? Massage? Suit? Taxi? f*** no.

I managed to convince the others that after leaving Ko Phang Nan we should go to Krabi and generally not do very much in order to recover from full moon. No half moon. No total eclipse. We made our way to Ao Nang which was quite nice. A massive change from Ko Phang Nan. No real nightlife apart from the lady boy strip and the hive of tiny bars that lured you in with promises of cheap beer and free pool. We spent Tara's birthday in Ao Nang and after a particularly awful meal, we went down the strip of ladyboy bars under tara's insistence. Luckily, Pearse was the one targeted. I just laughed at him. Cruel really. One day, pearse and I hired a kayak and rowed forever and got a little bit lost. We were on the water until it got dark. We probably had about 20 minuted to spare. We would have been f***ed. But its funny in hindsight!!

Ao Nang had been a massive downward gear change so for some reason that I cannot figure out in my tiny brain, we decided to go to Phuket. Within 24 hourse, we had landed in pergatory, otherwise known as Pattong. I hated, hated, hated Phuket. Old mean, leering over what could have been young thai bolys or girls, playing games of pool for shots of cheap whiskey. It made me feel sick. Everywhere you turn, some f***er asks you if you want a suit, a taxi, a blow job. No thanks. Phuket made me start to hate thai people. But then its not their fault. Supply and demand. There is more than enough thai androdgeny for every single one of these f***ing disgusting old men.

I had to leave after a couple of nights cos it was just too vile to even entertain. I managed to squeeze in Batman begins though. That was badass. I left Pearse and the girls for now and headed back to Ao Nang so that I could hang off rock faces for a few days. Soooo much fun. Although I was pretty awful at remembering safety techniques, I was quite handy at scrambling up cliff faces. My utter lack of common sense and clumsiness must have amused a good number of people but by the end of the 3 days I was multi pitching so that was pretty good. But by god it f***ing killed my limbs. I felt it for days afterwards. I knew I was unfit but the Chang has really gripped me with a fearsome gusto. Turns out that Pearse had rocked up again in Ao Nang so for a couple of nights we chilled out a bit. He had intended to hire out a motorbike but the Chang kind of ruined those plans for a bit. It was good to see him again. Prior to him coming back to Ao Nang, I had spent my time in the company of some essex bloke who thought that longan fruit were new potatoes and a gay austrian couple who wore EXACTLY the same thing.

Ko Phi Phi followed and ate away at my dollars like a starved fat man on crack. But I did get a nice place. Unfortunately the weather was absolutely appauling so I didnt manage to do any tours of all the lovely things that I was supposed to see. Pearse had been there the week before and had witnessed some lady die on the beach. Kind of glad I missed that. Instead I met up with my lovely friend Rosie from home. We drank quite a lot. Sometimes it was the only thing to do and you feel guilty if you dont do your bit for the thai economy.

Bangkok followed, prurely as I had little idea of what to do next and my thai visa ran out today. Met rosie again which ended abruptly and also met up with the other girls who made sure I didnt slit my wrists on my birthday. Do I know what I'm talking about? Not really? Went to Ayyuthya which was rubbish. I'm going to have a beer now. A chang. I'll post pictures later. By the way, I'm going to Cambodia tomorrow cos Myanmar is apparently dangerous. b*****. x