Ko Phi Phi Don: "Sharks can smell urine 200 miles away!"
By Gill

Sawasadee ka!

Hello from the island that was made famous by the film The Beach starring Leonardo De Caprio! But before I go on any more about Phi Phi, let me tell you about leaving Krabi.

We booked our ferry ticket at our bungalow reception desk for the 9.30am crossing. On reflection this was foolish as we never rise before midday and usually finish breakfast around 2ish but being optimistic we decided to have a full first day on Phi Phi. The man who we booked our ticket with told us to be ready at reception for 9am which we would have been if his wife hadn’t knocked on the door the morning we were leaving at 8.25 to check if we were ready as the bus was outside!!! Louis and Daisy were still asleep and I hadn’t even zipped up my case which let me tell you is busting at the seams (I keep telling Mike every time he has to zip it that I don’t know what he’s talking about and that I HAVE WORN ALL of the clothes and shoes.) Anyway once we had dragged Louis and Daisy out of bed and eventually zipped my case up we were ready to go to the pier.

The ferry crossing took about an hour and a half and at 11am we arrived in beautiful Phi Phi. Our trusty guidebook hits the nail on the head with its description… ”despite the tragic tsunami that swept through Ko Phi Phi in December 2004, if there was to be a contest for one of the planet’s most jaw dropping beauties, Ko Phi Phi would be a frontrunner.” There are two bays one on either side of the island about 100 metres apart. The island is surrounded by stunning limestone cliffs, the water is translucent and the sand is white and powdery. The guide book also says that in the high season you have to share the island with every Speedo on the planet, and even though it is the low season now it was still remarkably busy. It is also really expensive here by Thai standards but how much is a piece of paradise worth? We have loved it here so much that we stayed for a week, most tourists only stay a couple of days.

Anyway you get the picture it is gorgeous and much of what was destroyed on the twin bays of Ao Ton Sai and Ao Lo Dalum when the tsunami hit has been rebuilt. We read that 70% of all standing buildings on the island were destroyed and 1300 people were killed. We asked a man in an English diving school about any tsunami memorials as Phi Phi was hit particularly hard but he was unsure. He did tell us however about an underwater memorial which you could dive to see – instantly Mike was doubtful and suspicious and as we walked away muttered “oh yeah! I bet there is, he’s just trying to get some business!” Not like Mike at all!!! As it turns out the man was right because the good old t’interweb says so. There is an underwater tsunami memorial laid on the seabed in Ton Sai bay 1.4km off shore and at a depth of 20m. There are loads of interesting facts about it detailing how measurements of the monument link to the number of victims who died so go on t’interweb and have a look.
www.underwatertimes.com/news.php?article_id=36591018407

The man also told us about a tsunami village that was being built way up in the mountain that had never been finished and was a ghost town. This intrigued us because we might not be able to dive down 20 metres but we can climb mountains (!!), especially as Louis thought there was a “town full of ghosts” up there. In fact that is how we managed to get Louis and Daisy up there. We were wrong, we actually found it extremely difficult to climb the mountain especially as the sun was baking down and we were actually trying to stay out of the sun as me and Mike had burnt the day before on the boat trip(more of that later). But undeterred and with no means of shade or water we progressed up to the top. Louis kept flagging people down on bikes shouting “taxi” and one man actually stopped. God bless Louis he was so grateful but when he realised that 4 people plus the driver could not drive to the summit on a bike he was gutted! Not as gutted as he was when we made it to the town and there were no ghosts! Anyway on this occasion the diver guy was misinformed because there were people living in the village and a local told us on the way up it had been finished for over a year. The tsunami village is very, very high above sea level and far away from the main village and the houses are simple 2 level storey houses made from concrete, built in straight lines. The village is built way higher than it needs to be in the event of another tsunami (believe me, it is high) but I suppose safe refuge is a prized thing in an uncertain world.

So, we are at the top of the mountain with jungle either side of us, the sun is setting – how beautiful, we will see the sun set in the sea from this prime position. NO, we will be bitten to death by mosquitoes! We have a choice to make…go back the way we came or go down to Long Beach. As we’d not been to Long Beach we decided that would be the route we would take, quickly. Mike is paranoid about mozzies. He is in charge of mozzie repelling us all and swatting them off us without warning – Louis had told him “you’re obsessed about mozzies.” Mike doesn’t disagree. Anyway we were coming to realise after running for 20 minutes that the man who had told us 10 minutes to the beach from the tsunami village was as Mike put it “lying his head off”. But all was not lost as around the bend came a toothless, beaming 100 year old man driving what can only be described as a piece of junk. Seriously I do not know how this pick up truck was actually driving on the rough terrain. In fact that must have been how it lost its lights and bumper. It had no front! This did not deter Mike (with his mozzie paranoia) and Louis (with his exhaustion) jumping up and down in front of him. As he stopped I could hear the words “Oh good God no!” come out of my mouth as I clambered aboard. After being bashed through the trees and hit in the face with branches I thanked him gratefully as we reached Long Beach (which incidentally was 5 minutes in his piece of junk so god knows how long on foot).

Oh good, I hear you say, they made it. Well yes we did but unfortunately we were not staying on Long Beach we were staying on Ton Sai Bay. You have to get a long tail taxi boat to where we are staying. Not a problem. No it’s not a problem if you have 200Baht (4pounds). We did have 190Baht and probably could have bartered the long tail boat driver down to 190 but we were so thirsty from our mountain climbing that we wanted a drink straight away. We sat down on the beach, ordered our drinks (to the value of 190Baht) and watched the sun set. When the bill arrived we asked the waiter where the ATM was. “No ATM on Long Beach sir” came the reply. Then came that all too familiar feeling of Dejavu. But as it turned out the driver was happy to park his boat (do you park boats?) on our beach right near the ATM so Mike could go and draw out the money whilst he held me and the kids ransom, so all’s well that ends well, and the children loved being in the boat.

We stayed in a lovely hotel – Phi Phi Don Chukit Resort right on Ton Sai Bay and Mike managed to barter the man down from 3000B a night to 1500 which is about 30 pounds (pretty expensive still). This included breakfast and evening meal. We only had brekky once when we went on the boat trip because breakfast was 7-10am but the evening buffet was gorgeous with lots of different fresh foods. Louis even started eating Massaman curry here. The hotel had a swimming pool over looking the sea where Daisy decided that she was going to take off her arm bands and swim. Luckily we were there but she is so confident that we have had to tell her that only we can take them off now. She swam from one side of the pool to the other without them on and didn’t seem to tire – she kept saying “again, I want to do it again.” She is really coming on and loves the water. The hotel is about a 10 minute walk from the pier and they have a porter service that takes the concept of concierge to another level. A porter comes to the pier and in a wheeled trolley cart pushes your entire luggage to your room at the hotel. Bearing in mind that most of the tourists on this island are backpackers with only, yes you guessed it back packs this poor kid did not bargain for what he had to push, in parts uphill. Each of our two cases weigh 25kgs in addition to the trusty buggy and her contents (a Barbie case, a Dr. Who Tardis case, a laptop, a ruck sack) plus we had accumulated beach toys and beach mats in Krabi – well we had paid for them. But perhaps what he had not bargained for was the two children who thought the “carriage ride was absolutely brilliant!” He was absolutely sweating and exhausted by the time he arrived at room 26 (note from Mike: I tipped him almost 50 pence so that I felt better!) There were not many motorized vehicles on the island and the main form of transport was push bike so when the boy came to collect us for the boat trip, the children once again saw this as an opportunity for a “seater” to the pier on his bike, Daisy in the middle and Louis behind.

We wanted to go on a boat trip to see all the smaller islands surrounding Phi Phi and decided to do a half day trip which had the advantage of starting at 2.30pm – this meant we would definitely be up! We booked the trip 5 minutes before it was due to leave and walked down to the pier with the agent. After about 5 minutes it became obvious that the boat that was supposed to be taking us was not there and other people who had booked were waiting too. The man tried to sell us the full day tour for the next day but we asked for our money back. He gave us our money back but told us to think about it and to please come back to book the full day through him. We said we would but after that fiasco we had no intention so we booked it for the next day through our hotel. Imagine our embarrassment the next day when the boy who collected us took us to the exact same agent who snatched the tickets out of our hand muttering something which I don’t think was good morning in Thai! I think he was annoyed because he didn’t get the commission from the sale. The shame, I couldn’t even make eye contact with him.

The boat trip lasted 7 whole hours and I had sea sickness after 10 minutes. It did subside but I did burn my legs because I had to sit on the side of the boat staring out to the horizon (supposedly that stops the sickness!) It was a great day though and Louis thoroughly enjoyed himself. He befriended (annoyed) some of the guides who kept pushing him in the sea (obviously when the boat had stopped) and throwing ice cold water from the cool box all over him which of course meant he had to retaliate. He even jumped from the top deck of the boat into the sea which was about 6 metres high. Daisy was exhausted and in shock from being awake at 7.30am so she slept for 2 hours on the boat. I don’t know how she did it, even if I stepped inside for a minute I felt sick and when we got off the floor felt like it was rocking from side to side all night – I suppose that could have been the 8 vodka & sprites though! We went to Phi Phi Leh, a satellite island where the Viking caves are. Phi Phi is the home of sea gypsies many of whom make their living harvesting nests of swiftlets in the caves for medicinal purposes and for birds nest soup. As we sailed past we could see the bamboo scaffolding outside the entrance of the caves.

The next stop was supposed to be Maya Bay which is the infamous lagoon in the film The Beach but we were told that we couldn’t stop in the bay because the waves were too big. We could however moor on the other side and then kayak over to a sheer rock face with crashing waves smashing against it (which apparently weren’t too big), jump out of the kayak, climb up a bamboo ladder that was shakily attached to the rock face and then walk over sharp rocks to see the picturesque beach. This sounds like madness but we did try it with the kids. The guide kayaked us over and told me to jump in when we were near the rock face which I did and then promptly jumped back on. There were sharp rocks in the water which I was scraping my legs on and the waves were crashing over my head. There was no way I was letting Louis and Daisy get into the water so the guide kayaked us back to the boat. Mike did manage it but he said it was really scary and he thought he was going to get washed into the rocks. He managed to climb up the ladder, down the other side of the ladder on the other side of the rocks, walk across coral in bare feet, then through some jungle until the beach appeared. He said it seemed smaller and shorter than in the film and packed with boats and yachts that somehow managed to escape the “crashing waves” the guide had told us made it impossible to moor there – “a big con” according to Mike!

Next stop was Bamboo Island which was beautiful and the approach reminded me of visiting the motus in Aitutaki. There were loads of patterned fish swimming in the water right next to us but I was desperate for a wee. Last time I told Louis to wee in the sea in Krabi, I was horrified to see him stand in the shallows pop his bits out and actually wee “into” the sea. He has now practised and developed this skill and is a dab hand at not drawing attention to himself – unlike me. I bobbed up and down moving with the waves and started to wee until I thought about a fact I had heard on a TV programme about sharks (probably one that Mike had made me watch!) As I recall, sharks can smell urine from 200 miles away (do not rely on this as absolute fact). I tried to stop mid flow but my pelvic floor is such after 2 children that it was impossible. It should be called a pelvic flaw and I should have listened to the smug midwife who told me 10 minutes after giving birth to do those pelvic exercises. When I was teaching in Fazakerley Primary I couldn’t even do ‘Rise and Shine’ (a fantastic dance exercise session for the children) due to my pelvic flaw, I even have to cross my legs when I cough! Anyway panicking but still weeing, I ran for my life out of the sea, leaving behind for the approaching shark a boatful of bathing tourists, but worst of all Louis and Daisy! Sorry I’ve ruined the beautiful island now.

Our last stop was Monkey Beach which is supposedly inhabited by… monkeys. We didn’t see any just loads of trees and rubbish so Mike thinks it should be called Litter Beach. I’m not sure that would attract tourists though.

In the evening we saw some great fire shows which Louis and Daisy really loved. The acts spun fire poi’s, (two fire balls), one in each hand on chains in rhythm to music. The “Daddy” of the fire acts had a stick which was alight at both ends which he was able to not only spin very fast rhythmically to music but also to throw up and catch with one hand behind his back. Very impressive - Louis thought he could beat Darth Maul from Star Wars in a lightsabre duel. In the day and evenings the local Thai people used to practise with their own poi’s and you would see them swinging them and trying new tricks. They always let Louis and Daisy have a go but obviously they weren’t lit! (Maybe that’s not that obvious seeing that they have sat and walked with tigers.)

A couple of evenings we went to the Reggae Bar which had Thai Boxing with a twist. Whilst we did see a couple of genuine Thai boxing matches, mostly we saw tourists who were supposedly friends having a go at Thai boxing. The advertising sign which was paraded around the ring read “Free bucket for anyone who volunteers to fight. Thai boxing for fun. Will be protection such as head guards.” The aforementioned “bucket” is exactly what it says, a bucket about the size of a beach bucket filled with a spirit and mixer of your choice. Seeing as a bucket only costs 150B (3 pounds) anyway, you must be mental. And from what I could see, whilst some poor lad was getting his head kicked in (because there appears to be no rules and no gum shield) the rest of his mates were ringside jeering drinking HIS FREE bucket! I did however also see contestants drinking from their buckets in between rounds – at least that would help numb the pain!

At the Thai boxing we met a little girl called Piya who was 3 years old. She came over giving Daisy a pair of Thai boxing shorts. Daisy wanted to put them on over her dress and had no sooner pulled them up when she was whisked away to the ring. We thought it was a photo opportunity of the two girls in Thai boxing shorts in the boxing ring so Mike followed with the camera and saw Piya in her corner being “prepped for a fight.” She had her gloves on; she was stretching and practising her punches. Mike told Daisy that she was really going to fight which she was happy with at first, but as the realisation dawned upon her she wanted to get out of the ring, which we were more than happy about. Piya’s family run the bar and Thai boxing is part of her life. Her granddad was shouting commands in Thai and she was moving her body into different boxing positions – she even had Louis cornered at one point. After that she spent a lot of time with us drawing in Daisy’s Dora pad with all her different pens. Louis met a Police Officer in the bar who let him have a go of his gun - Mike informs me it was semi automatic pistol. I didn’t think there was anything wrong with this until Mike pointed out that he had just taken the magazine out and was firing it into the ground to make sure it had no bullets in. The Police officer was positively encouraging Louis to aim and point at people, and make mock shooting noises. It was all very surreal and uncomfortable – not for Louis.

What else have we done? Oh yes, I rescued Mike and Daisy from the middle of Lo Dalum Bay. We decided to hire a kayak for an hour so that we could do some snorkeling. We paddled out for about 20 minutes and then Mike decided without giving me any instruction to jump off with Daisy to do some snorkeling. All was well until the kayak with me and Louis in starts drifting quite quickly away from them towards the shore. I tried desperately to turn it around but the wind was too strong and it just kept blowing us inland. Louis said that he would say a prayer to the Lord and sat at the front, knees crossed like a little Buddha with his eyes closed. It was then either his prayer worked or I had a stroke of genius. I suddenly knew how to back paddle without being taught! I started back paddling and we were reversing speedily moving through the water towards Mike and Daisy. Louis opened his eyes and said “it worked; let’s go on a rescue mission to save daddy and Daisy.” As I sang the theme tune to Bay Watch and powered my way through the treacherous waters backwards, Mike and Daisy got closer and closer. To be honest when I rescued them, I wish I hadn’t bothered because Mike was so ungrateful saying he’d actually swam half the way, which kind of put a dampener on my heroic act. As we all went back (I let him back on after a while) Louis and Daisy jumped off the front of the kayak into the sea. (Mikes account: The reason we kept getting closer and closer as Gill splashed at the water was because WE were moving).

When we got back to the beach we were all in need of a drink so we sat at Monkey Beach Bar to reminisce about the rescue mission (well I did) and to watch the sun set. As we were at the table a bird of prey (we think it’s a Sea Hawk) swooped down and picked a ball up off the beach. Mike and Louis wanted to see where it had taken it to so they went off to see where it had landed. Whilst they were gone the hawk came back and sat on the back of the chair right next to me. It stayed there for ages. When Louis came back he held a silver plug he had found on the beach in his hand and the Hawk swooped right down and took it out of his hand. It also came down to our table and picked up a small bowl containing artificial fruit which it then carried off. The lady at the bar feeds it meat and supposedly it goes to the bar every night about 5ish.

We really loved Phi Phi and what started out as being a short stay could easily have ran into weeks and weeks.
Our next destination is Phuket where we will write our next blog from.

Sawasadee

Gill, Mike, Louis and Daisy xxxxxx