Hi all So up we got, bright and early, and headed off to see the Ho Chi Minh Mausoleum. This is exactly what it says. The body of the late great Ho Chi Minh is laid out in an open casket, and people queue up and shuffle past. A trifle morbid perhaps, but this guy is the epitome of Vietnam. He freed the country from the French, The Chinese and laid the foundations of defeating the US, and as such is revered here. Like us and David Beckham. He also founded the Communist Party over here, was imprisoned and persecuted by the powers that were, and returned from exile several times to help free the country. His policies were based on the freedom of the Vietnamese people to govern there own lives, choose their own rulers (democratically), to close the gap betwen rich and poor, to abolish illiteracy, not only in children but in adults as well (he set up adult education classes) and to generally turn the country into one nation. People here know him as uncle Ho. I have to say, I have absolute respect for the man and his teachings, mainly because he lived as he taught. One of his principles was that any government must be beyond reproach if it was to be respected. Practice what you preach in other words. No sleaze in this government. And it worked. After his death (in 1969), and the US were defeated things did go a little pear shaped for the country, as the government tried to put into practice some of his ideals. But hey, even now, those Vietnamese that don't agree with his politics still revere him as a national hero. No danger of that from Tony Blair. So we queued for about an hour to duly shuffle past his corpse. The girls had their bags searched at least 3 times each (shady looking obviously), as no cameras, flammables etc were allowed in. The body itself was a bit of a shock. It looked just like a waxwork. And to be fair probably was. You can't keep carrying out 'work' on a body for nearly 40 years and expect it not to. But the atmosphere was electric and some of the Vietnamese looked close to tears, young and old alike. We followed this light hearted start to the day with a walk round the gardens, containing his stilt house and the Presidential Palace. Not much to see really, but the setting was beautiful. Then out of the grounds, and off to the Ho Chi Minh Museum. Which was closed. So we went into the One Pillar Pagoda which dates from around 1049. Well it would've if the French hadn't smashed it to bits out of spite before quitting Hanoi in 1954. But the new version (an exact replica we were reliably informed) was quite lovely. History has it that an emperor (Ly Thai Tong) couldn't produce a male heir. He dreamed of the Goddess Of Mercy seated on a lotus flower handing him a male child. He promptly went out and shagged some random peasnt girl who produced the required son. As a way of expressing his thanks, he built this pagoda to resemble a lotus flower. The stem is a 1.25m pillar and the pagoda sits atop it. Hence one pillar pagoda. Not sure it really reminds me of a lotus flower, but it was definitely phallic. I guess thats just as good considering the story. Next to it is another pagoda called the Dien Huu Pagoda which was about as unremarkable as it gets. But hey, by now we were really getting into the whole cultural thing, so we spent half an hour looking round it trying to see something in it that was worthwhile. We couldn't find anything cos it was really s***. Ah well, you win some, you lose some. And on to the Temple Of Literature. This is not as it sounds (and to Laura's great relief) a Temple full of old books. It's a Temple founded in 1070 to honour Confucius (he of the many jokes) and was built to honour 'scholars and men of literary accomplishment'. The first university in Vietnam was established here too, in 1076. That's about 100 years before Oxford, England's oldest university. Just thought I'd mention it. The place is again, really beautiful (I need to find some more adjectives and/or superlatives), with five courtyards separated by some stunning gates. I learnt while I was briefly there some Confuscian theory/philosophy, which made lights go off in my head for about 10 minutes. I can't remember any of it now (although I can still recite poems I learned in Primary School and the entire rap to Street Tuff by Double Trouble and The Rebel MC - funny thing the human brain), but knowing the way my brain works I took a photo of one passage so I could revisit it again at a later date. At least i think i did.... By now, we were starving and headed off to a highly recommended restaurant for lunch. It's called KOTO (Know One Teach One) and is staffed by kids taken off the street and taught to cook. Like a Vietnamese Jamie Oliver programme. Anyway the never reliable Lonely Planet recommended it, and it was on the same street as The Temple Of Literature so off we went. It was closed. For 10 days. Because the staff were off on a field trip to the arse end of nowhere. Not exactly teaching them good f***ing business sense is it? 'Yeah, just shut up shop and disappear for 10 days. Screw the profits just go off and enjoy yourselves'. Either way we ended up eating in a street cafe, which although looked like it was scheduled for destruction, served really good local food, although admittedly it did take Laura 10 minutes to make it understood that she wanted coffee with milk. With Kimbers and Laura suffering from 'culture fatigue brought on by lack of alcohol' they headed off back to the hotel, and me and the ever cultural Mand headed back to the Ho Chi Minh Museum. The best museum I've been to since we've been away (not that I went to that many before I came away mind you). It was as much art gallery as museum, if not more so. We absolutely loved it. It depicts key moments in the life of Ho Chi Minh (and in effect the country), is informative and is full of interactive art. I can't praise it enough. The cave where he was forced into hiding whilst organising the revolution from the French was a brain you could walk into (headquarters...boom boom...I'll get my coat), the feelings of the nation directly after the second world war was a walk in/on volcano with pulsating dark red lights, works of art by both socialists and facscists (Matisse, Henry Moore, Salvador Dali) sat side by side to highlight the diifferences between the two philosophies. The fascist stuff really angry, dark and monstrous looking, the socialist pieces all flowing lines and graceful beauty. I could go on and on and on, and I could've walked round and round and round (as it was we went round twice, and would've gone round again but it was getting near closing time and they had a special photographic exhibition of Ho's life in the 50's). Suffice to say time really well spent. So much so, that i had to bite my tongue really hard when we were at dinner on Cat Ba Island a few days later and got chatting to a few English. One of the guys started going on about how the Ho Chi Minh Museum was pretty s*** and that it didn't give you enough information, and how he thought it was all a bit of a waste of time. What i really wanted to do was grab his stupid fat head and jam it down into his noodles, yelling 'It's art you numb f***, it's supposed to make you feel, maybe look at things slightly differently and not just keep you informed. You want that then buy a f***in book!'. Instead I humphed and muttered something about really enjoying it. Not very often I feel that reaction after visiting a museum. I'm not sure most people do. But the truth is I just felt a real urge to defend it. It touched me that deeply. Ah well, that's art I guess. We headed downstairs to visit the special exhibition which turned out to be a bit of a let down after the main museum. Just a bunch of photos of Uncle Ho visiting farmers, cuddling kids and generally being a man for the people. There were some great quotes (none of which i can remember, and none of which I can find on the Internet) about freedom, nationalism, independence and the need for the entire population to be educated, or at least literate. We were pretty unceremoniously kicked out of there as the place was closing, and sat for a few minutes on the wall of the pond outside, feeling pretty cultured out for the day. Feeling the urge for something a bit livelier, we decided to get a cyclo for the 2 - 3 km ride back to the hotel. This is really just a rickshaw. You sit in the front and some poor sucker pedals you wherever you want to go for a pittance. Sweet. And how funnily scary. I've already spoken about the traffic, but seeing it from the front basket of a pushbike, with nothing between you and it makes it even more real. Fantastico. Back at the hotel, we showered, grabbed the girls and were off for a Bia Hoi. I've not really explained Bia Hoi yet, but essentially it's a local beer (wherever you happen to be) is cheap as chips and is served direct from the barrel. What are normally just shop fronts, put chairs out on the pavement in the evening and serve this stuff. To be honest its ok, if you get a glass from near the bottom of the barrel it tastes like metal, but generally ok. And it's perfect to watch the world go by, even if you do spend half your time trying to fend off the various kids who come past trying to sell you lighters, books ('The Quiet American' a particular favourite), chewing gum, maps, necklaces, bracelets and a whole load of other junk you wouldn't possibly want. After a couple of Bia Hois, we headed out for some decnt food from a restaurant we'd heard about on a flier. The food was fantastic (pork loin thinly sliced and fried in sesame oil, spring rolls, duck and dessert) and then we headed home for (another) early night. There were still a couple of museums left to go the following day, then the Perfume Pagoda the day after that. This culture lark is pretty tiring. I think i'd rather have a beer... Take care all xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx