Hi peeps Well, off the coach we jumped, grabbed our bags and followed our tout to a waiting taxi (along with 2 other guys, one an Austrian botanist named Gunther - I love that, and an English guy who was instantly forgettable) and we were off into the mayhem that is Hanoi traffic. I thought Bangkok was bad, but this was absolutely mental. 5 million mopeds, liberally sprinkled with buses, taxis, huge 4 x 4s, lorries and vans, all doing exactly as they please whilst honking their horns to make people aware of their next death defying manouvre. It was bedalm. Pure and simple. Sitting in the taxi was just the kind of nail biting light relief we needed after the journey, and seemed to give us all a new lease of life as we watched these lunatics performing stunts on mopeds you don't normally see outside of an Arnie flick. When we got to the hotel, it was everything the tout had promised (except for the price but we eventually sorted that out and got a top notch room for $6), showered and headed out for some food. My first taste of Vietnamese cooking was really really disappointing and I honestly thought the fish I'd ordered was going to lay me low for the next few days. After a couple of beers and a huge dessert we all headed home for some much needed sleep, vowing that the drunken days of Laos and Thailand were behind us, and it was now time to do some serious sight seeing and maybe soak up a bit of culture. Maybe it's because we all know a bit more about the recent history of Vietnam that we were all the more excited about being here and couldn't wait to see what it had to offer. So after a proper lie in, we got up about lunchtime and had breakfast before heading out. Hanoi is split into 2 parts. The historic old quarter where pretty much everything is, and the newer parts of the city sprawling around it. Our hotel was in the old quarter, and our first brief impression (we'd only ventured about 50m from our hoytel for dinner) was of a maze of streets full of hustle and bustle. This turned out to be pretty much spot on. The place is a warren of narrow streets, with street vendors and shops trying to call you in and sell you their wares. Mopeds and cars beeping constantly as they squeeze their way down them and past each other. Women wearing long yokes with huge trays of fruit on them walking amongst everything trying to flog you fresh pineapple or lychees or pretty much anything else you can think of. It's amazing, and I think we all fell a little in love with it straight away. So different from Laos and Thailand but also strangely similar ('same same but different' anyone?). Like somewhere between the two. As much energy as the busy parts of Thailand, but still keeping far more of its natural heritage a la Laos. This makes for a kind of mellow Bangkok. But even that's not really right. There's more to it than that. It's busy but at the same time relaxed. Hectic but tranquil. The traders are more aggressive than Laos but not nearly so bad as Thailand. I think I'll give up trying to describe it cos I'm not even making sense to myself (nothing new there then). Anyway, as a way of acquainting ourselves with this maze, and maybe heaven forbid soak up a bit of it's culture, we decided to head out on a walking tour as laid out in The Lonely Planet. Now in the book it looks like it's not more than about 3 or 4 miles which we figured would take us, allowing for coffe stops and looking at a couple of museums/temples, about 3 or 4 hours. How wrong we were. We walked for getting on for 6 hours, and even then we had to cut it short cos we were exhausted. But it was worth every sweat soaked minute. The place is laid out so that every street sells only one sort of merchandise. So there's a street that sells only sweets and alcohol. A street that sells only clothes. A street that sells only grave stones. A street that sells only sheets and bedding. And so on and so on. It's like a massive outdoor department store, which really appeals to that slightly anal part of my nature that keeps unsuccessfully trying to bring some order to my day to day life. No chance there methinks. We started at the Ngoc Son temple which is located on an island on Hoan Kiem Lake and it was gorgeous. You reach it by crossing a bright red footbridge and inside are some beautifully carved Buddhas layered in gold leaf, surrounded by a small garden and then by the lake. It just emanates peace and harmony. Even with the 40 or so japanese tourists bundling round it. The temple was built in 1885 so is still fairly new and well looked after, and is dedicated to (among others) a general from the 13th Century who defeated the Mongols. Of more interest is the lake itself. Hoan Kiem Lake translates as 'Lake Of The Restored Sword'. Legend has it that the Gods sent a 15th Century empereor (Le Loi) a nagic sword which he used to defeat the Chinese and drive them back from Vietnam. After the war, while in the lake, a giant golden tortoise came up and took the sword from him and returned it to the Gods. There are still tortoises (they're turtles surely) in the lake and to see one is considered to bring great luck. We saw two little ones. Which was nice. Me and Mand have a theory. Not a very good one, but a theory nonetheless. We have never seen a live giant turtle. Ever. Mand has been to 'Turtle Island' in Greece twice, in turtle season and not seen one. I've been once and even took a tour which guarunteed a sighting. I didn't see one. So our theory is thus: They don't exist. Anyone that says they've seen one is a liar. It's just one big consopiracy designed to make us look stupid. In the Ngoc Son Temple there is supposedly the reamins of an absolutely massive one. It wasn't there. Proof enough if you ask me. On a slight aside, I also bought one of the tackiest pieces of tat ever at the temple. Amidst all this medieval beauty and these religious legends I bought easily the most pointless and 'could get this anywhere' piece of junk ever. I love it. And it made me jump. And it made me laugh. So there. For the next few hours we wandered the streets of the Old Quarter, stopping at a beautifully preserved 18th Chinese trader's house which had some beautiful silks, pottery and silverware. We wandered through the market which sold just about everything from foodstuffs (most of which was still alive) the smell had a life all of its own, to clothes to cookware, to microwaves. A joining of old and new, traditional and modern that seems to permeate Vietnam in its present form. There is a current drive by the young people to turn their backs on the traditional ways of life in Vietnam, leaving the rural areas and heading for the cities. This has resulted in two obvious things. Not enough workers in rural areas and overcrowding in the cities. There is now a quota of only two children per marriage within city limits. What happens if you break this I have no idea. I think they just let the older kids ride buses and keep people awake all night. In fact, its not as bad as it seems, cos the man can marry as many times as he wishes, as long as he can support the children. Suits him. Its also 'traditional' for him to have at least one girlfriend (who if she gets pregnant, he has no responsibility for), and he is also allowed to beat his wife. I'm thinking of moving here. On an aside to an aside, did you know a similar drive in China, limiting families to one child per couple, that as families all wanted boys to carry on their bloodline (female foetuses are aborted), there is now a potentially serious shortage of girls. The last census in 2000 showed 120 males for every 100 females being born. This is up 5% on the 1990 census. Some provinces are as high as 135 - 100. But, my slightly oversexed Vietnamese informant told me with a wink, this will never be a problem here because of the whole multi marriage, girlfriend rule. Thats alright then. Anyhow, on with the tour and we went past the city's cathedral (a holdover from colonial rule) which was closed, and one of the original gates from when the original walls were built. The walls were built by an emperor (well, he had little help I presume) who couldn't find the right spot to build. The walls kept sinking or falling down. He prayed for guidance, and a white horse appeared and led him to where he should begin construction. This he did and the walls stayed put. To show his thanks, he had a statue of the horse made and had it placed in the temple where he prayed. The statue and temple (Bach Ma) are still there, but when we passed this way it was closed, as like a lot of museums and temples they are only open in the morning for 3 hours and in the afternoon for 3 hours. As it was only about 200m from our hotel and on the same road, we figured we would catch it on our way back. At this point we hadn't realised just how long we'd be walking for. That was about it sight wise, but the steets themselves were the real sights, so the whole day was really just one big sightseeing tour. Just gutted we never got to see either the leather or the pvc streets. Could've been fun :o) By about 6.30 we settled ourselves into a bar (we still hadn't finished the tour but figured what the hell we've done most of it) and sat there nursing cold beers and aching legs and tried to decide what we'd do in the evening. After a little discussion, it was agreed that we had definitely earned ourselves a massage. Now going for a massage in Hanoi is not as easy as it sounds. Most of them are not very discreet brothels offering the kind of 'special' massage you might see late at night on Channel 5. So with great care we scanned the ever reliable Lonely Planet, and found to our delight they recommended one which was about a 10 minute walk away. Fantastico. Off we went and found ourselves walking past a building site, where the hotel/massgae parlour was supposed to be. After much hunting around ('this can't be right, they wouldn't have just knocked it down') we found a little tourist office with the same name as the hotel we were looking for. Apparently it was being refurbished. In this case that means tearing the thing down and rebuilding from scratch. Funny thing the english language. But not to worry, our genial information guy offered to sort us out with a taxi to the sister hotel where we could get our by now much much needed massage. And so he did. And boy was it worth it. Into a little room, complete with its own steam bath and shower, for a 20 minute respite to get you ready for your massage. Mine was fantastic, I have to say. No cracking of anything, just a proper oil massage (interrupted only briefly when her phone went off and she answered it) that loosened up every muscle in my body (except for that one you pervs - I told you it was a legit massage) and after an hour we were back in reception awaiting our taxi back. Turned out mine was the best of a bad bunch. Mandy's one had pinched her skin several times and hadn't seemed to know what she was doing, and Laura's had been reading a massage book as she went. Beautiful. Kimbers incidentally had passed on the grounds that she 'didn't like the look of her's' and after she'd heard what the other two's were like had a look of quiet satisfaction on her face that could well have been mistaken for gloating. That evening, we headed out for a Bia Hoi from one of the shop cum bars, had a quiet dinner and were back in bed before we knew it. I told you we really were doing the cultural-not-getting-drunk bit. And so far so good. The next day, we were going to hit the museums. Rock n Roll! Take care all xxxxxxxxxxxxx