Okey dokey peeps, onward to Chiang Mai We got to our VIP bus stop about an hour before the bus did (typical Thai time) and waited outside in the absolute pissing rain before loading up our bags and getting on the bus. The wrong bus. Much confusion followed involving every body with the wrong ticket getting off and trying to unload their bags from the luggage bay. After about half an hour of people generally milling around, some guy just jumps in the luggage hold and starts throwing (with excessive force) all the luggage out so that we can find whats ours. Cue exodus from the bus with people demanding to know why the hell their luggage has just been heaved out into 6 inch deep muddy puddles. Thing is, I found the whole thing genuinely funny (there's nothing like a bit of Chaos) and kept looking at people and smiling. Much bad feeling later and we had our stuff and finally, our bus arrived. Now this was supposed to be the VIP bus. Not sure what the normal one was like then. The one we'd just been thrown off was quality. Comfortable reclining seats with plenty of leg room, ice cold air con, huge tv at the front etc etc. Ours in comparison was a clapped out old banger, with a toilet that stank the bus out (think Glastonbury in a bus) even when the door was closed, enough leg room for a very small midget, 'air con' that really just dribbled water on everyone, no tv, and not enough blankets to go round. Our worst fears were confirmed when we made an unscheduled stop at a garage so some emergency welding could take place on the rear axle. We then spent the next 12 hours praying to Buddha and trying unsuccessfully to get some rather crowded, damp sleep. Behind us were sat 4 English girls, and behind them 4 Irish guys. We didn't know it then, but we'd all end up hooking up and having a right laugh in Chiang Mai, so much so that we would also end up travelling with them through Laos. When we finally arrived at our destination, we were taken by the taxi driver (again 'taxi' being a pick up truck) to the Chiang Mai Inn. We'd actually already booked somewhere else but we were just so glad to be there in one piece we booked in and went straight to bed. Out for lunch at a Mexican place of all things and we made a slight mistake by starting on the margheritas. Obviously we then got totally trashed (and missed the World Cup Final - I'm not sure of dates and am even more confused now I can't relate it to football matches) before hitting the sack for yet more sleep. The next day was spent recovering and generally mooching around Chiang Mai before Kimbers went to bed and me and Mand went for dinner on the riverfront (served by a lady boy who had the face of an angel but the voice of Barry White. Even I sppotted that one) and a look round the night market. The next two days were spent trecking (which is all on a separate post card) where we met the four Irish guys and they then introduced us to the English girls from the bus (Rosie, Sophie, Charlotte and Nat) and the eleven of us, plus 4 or 5 others all headed out to dinner. Then loads more drinking and I managed to piss off a couple of ex-pats by remaining unbeaten for the entire evening on the pool table - 'For f***'s sake did he win again?' 'Yer'. It's a strange thing but all these (mostly) middle aged Westerners take great delight in beating 15 year old Thai girls at pool all night, like it somehow makes them a contender for the World Title and some sort of Superman. It pisses me off more than you can imagine. Anyway rant over and on to Chiang mai's only club. Spicy's. This is essentially someone's shop. Bar girls everywhere, a dance floor the size of a postage stamp and a bar that's just a serving hatch in the wall. Horrible. The first person we see in there is Mikkel (from koh Chang and then Bangkok) and after much joking over him stalking us (which started to take on a slightly serious note cos he'd already tried to pull Kimbers and his first question was 'Where is that tall Irish guy you were travelling with') he got the message and shot off and we got absolutely steambaoats. The next day was again spent recovering, but we booked ourselves our tickets to the Laos border and went to see our first ever Muay Thai match. Absolutely the most brutal thing I've seen close up. Brilliant. And it really was close up. Ringside! The ring is just set in the middle, tables all around it, and bars all round the ouside. The fighters come out and do a kind of prayer thing all round and in the centre of the ring. They play music the whole way through the bouts and the fighters move in rhythm to it...at least for a while. It's a spectacle all of its own. First up were two kids who couldn't have been more than about 6 or 7, whaling the absolute s*** out of each other. From there it moved up through the weights and ages 10 year olds, 12 year olds, 15 year olds, 17 year olds up to the main event (which was over inside a round) and then the special event. An English guy by the name of Ben vs one of the locals. The English guy smashed the granny out of him, despite taking one or two serious elbows to the side of his head, and knocked him out in the 4th round. This was mainly due to the fact that he went in more like a conventional boxer, although the kicks to the swede he was delivering were non too shabby either. There followed another match and then the official stuff finished. But what followed was much funnier. Two huge sumo wrestling lookin guys got in for a show fight and suddenly we were watching WWE Muay Thai style. Fantastic viewing as they belted each other to bits with every other blow resulting in a knockdown. Next up were the barmen. I missed most of this as I went to the toilet, but when I came back one had blood all over him and the fight was all but over. And Mand went blood crazy. I'm seriously begiining to wonder about that girl. After getting about 4 million pictures with the guy she then spent the walk home biting me in an attempt make me bleed. Scary! The last fight was really unexpected. At the table behind us were a bunch of French blokes. All rippling muscles and broken noses. They suddenly just jumped in and as much to the locals' amusement as ours ripped off their tops and went for some serious WWE. Funniest thing I've seen in ages. Body slams, pile drivers, clotheslines the lot. Turns out they're all black belts in Ju Jitsu and do this sort of thing for a laugh. Hmmmm. The upshot of it all is that its made me even more determined to have a serious bash at it. When we get back to Bangkok I'm gonna book in for a day's training and if I like it, when my visa runs out in Oz I'll leave Mand there and come back and do a 4 month course. Apparently they start you from absolute scratch. They teach you to move before they let you punch. You have to punch before you can kick and so on and so forth. I won't bore you with all the differences between it and other martial arts, suffice to say there's a lot of difference in the way moves are performed and a lot more contact in training. Beautiful. I'll finally get some decent scars for my face. Joking aside the chances of them actually letting me fight for real are as slim as the chances of Johnny ordering salad (I'm 'Far too old' according to Sun, the guide from our trek) but the training alone will be well worth it. The next day the 11 of us left Chiang Mai in our mini bus for the journey to the border. Our hotel booked another for us at our stopover point which turned out to be a filthy hovel with the worst food we'd had in Thailand. But the bar across the road showed dvds til about 2 ish so we settled in for a few beers and the owner eventually had to kick us out so he could go to bed. The next morning we were up (declining the grim offering of breakfast) and down to the river crossing point. The three of us jumped on a little boat which I thought was going to take us all the way to Luang Prabang in Laos but turned out to be just taking us acroos the river. And there we were! Laos, and time for the 2 day journey down the Mekong on a slow boat to Luang Prabang. Take care folks, love to you all xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx