Wedding day! I put my borrowed suit, shirt, belt and tie on (obviously a Wednesday tie having been from my uncle) which thankfully fit as I had been worrying in Fiji that due to a heavy diet of beer and crap food over the past 6 weeks my ever expanding waistline meant it wouldn't. The official photographer for the day arrived wearing a scruffy polo shirt, shorts and boots which I could let go for now but surely he would be getting changed into something more appropriate for the ceremony!? Anyway the bride and bridesmaids looked beautiful and me, Steve and AJ headed down to the church by taxi to check all was in order and give out the orders of service. Kev had a asked me to take a video of Emma walking down the aisle, thoughts of me hanging from the rafters like Owen in the Vicar of Dibley sprang to mind.

He actual ceremony was really nice, just the right length. I've never seen a man look so happy as Nick the groom did, even I was welling up. After the ceremony and more photos taken by the photographer, who unbelievably had remained in the same shoddy attire throughout (not that I was wound up in anyway), me and Steve decided to sneak off to the local boozer for a couple of pints before the reception with a few of his football team buddies who had attended also. As we left the pub, thinking we had got away with it, Kev and the ushers were walking down the hill to get the water taxi to the Yacht Club for the reception, busted!

At the reception I was sat on the Little Mermaid table (all the tables were named after Disney films, must be a Carpenter family obsession) with the rest of the Carpenter clan and some of their close friends. One of whom was Bill, the father of one of the bridesmaids, who I had been told about at dinner the previous evening. Well what a character and a great person to be sat next to at dinner. He was a man after my own heart and advised me to drink lots and have fun…a great philosophy! The red wine was flowing during conversation after the champagne earlier in the evening, a lethal combo.

Me, Steve and AJ had a nice big fat celebratory cigar and we offered them round to people passing by, one of whom took it and he said his wife would not be happy. Strangely he wanted a photo of us despite the fact to this day I don't know his name or what connection he was to the bride and groom. Also there was a beach party going on at the Yacht Club and being an idiot I decided I would head down in my suit and join in to entertain the crowd. Back at the reception fully fuelled it was time to dance! There were two women dancing; a blonde called Liv and brunette Erika who were taken in by my English charms and accent (ha!)

Me, Steve and AJ decided to plough on after the reception ended and headed back to his local in Epping. Still suffering due to lack of sleep in Fiji, and pretty pissed, I began to drift off to sleep again in the bar. So it was back home, where I proceeded to fall asleep on the sofa in front of the footy fully clothed. Great day.