Just a funny ending to my trip as I can't go anywhere without something happening.

Got off the yacht but because it had rained so much the car couldn't get down the track the last few miles. So we hijacked a fisherman there and piled everything into his tuk tuk with us perched on the sides and trundled off over miles of muddy swampy sand. We were met by Mr One Leg and off we went. Got to the local airport and there are 3 scanners, all of which I set off. The security guy on the screen called me behind to watch the bags going through, as you do, and when mine came he pointed at something and said 'what is that?'. I had no clue so I said 'oh, that's my phone' and he smiled happily. Got to Suzanne's, pointed and said 'what is that?'. I knew she had something she shouldn't have in her bag so I said 'Oh, that's something electronic you can only get in the UK'. And off we went.

Got to Khartoum, 3 more scanners to negotiate. Set them all off. Got to Gate and Suzanne's name was called over the airport tannoy. Went to ask someone and when she said, 'I am Suzanne', the reply was 'Aah, Welcome!' 😂.

Sat back down, my name is called over the tannoy. We decided to ask the security man who had made me go through the scanner about 7 times as I kept setting it off, shedding bits of myself each time I went through. In the end, the queue was so long with smiling people, when I was literally down to just my teeth, he shrugged and let me go. Anyway, he said we had to go all the way back to the beginning- through 2 scanners, through customs and passport control, all happily waving us through. Someone was there hovering for me and we were led outside in the dark to the back of a warehouse where a man was perched watching the suitcases go through on the conveyor belt. He said mine had shown up something- crap, it was my huge conch. Went back with him to scan my bag and sit with him to watch the camera screen and I went through a list of things it could be, 'oooh it might be my hair straighteners/ basket/ shampoo/ rusty jug I bought from the market', at which point he just smiled patiently and said I could go. So back we went through everything again, being waved through.

Get to Gate - Suzanne is led to one gate, I am led to another and a woman pushes me to the front of the boarding queue and guides me onto the flight to Addis Abbaba. As we had very nearly boarded the World Food Programme plane a few days before, I was more alert than usual , grabbed my passport from her and ran all the way back to the beginning.

You will be pleased to know that me and my conch arrived home safely.