Off to Colombia again, this time with Ween. Trying not to look too much like a menopausal fatty, I don my Velcro strap shoes with cushioned inner soles and ready myself for the terminal. My aim was to lose 1 stone before this trip - on jumping on the scales, only 1 stone 3lbs to go! FFS.People may have noticed that my current roller coaster of hormonal cocktails is making me a little imbalanced as well as porkier. After furiously accosting a burglar a few months ...

I have had my blog hacked into by advertisers so haven't been able to write the last 3 days of my trip. The last day at Cartagena was a dull morning of monasteries and fort visits - not my kind of thing but I gritted my teeth. We started misbehaving in the monastery by taking photos of us draped around a well rather than listening to Jesus business and were swiftly reprimanded by the guide with a loud ' Come along girls!!! '. There was nothing very exciting up th...

Once upon a time, many years ago ( 1741 if you want to be sniffy ), there was a Spanish guy with only one eye and one leg. He'd lost them in fighting the English poor lamb and was still hobbling around trying to defend Cartagena. He hopped about the ramparts and found himself in another tiff where he stupidly lost his other leg. And then he died. There is a statue of him here -BUT HE HAS 2 LEGS. And no eye patch! I feel I've been cheated. This place used to be ...

The turtles stood me up for the second night- we had tried to confirm it was happening without much luck apart from someone saying they didn't think it was turtle season. So I went to bed not planning to get up but as always, I then woke every 20 minutes looking at the time and at 12.30 decided it would be very embarrassing if the ranger DID turn up and I was in bed. After all, Viva the guide had said it was confirmed before she left on Saturday. If I was i...