Hello and happy christmas to you both. We miss you lots, though the house is pretty full at the moment! Just tried to ring you both, but you must be having a lie in. Just having a look at all your photos which makes you feel a bit nearer, just wish I could have a hug!! Lots and lots of love to you both xxxxxxxxx

Hi there Eddie and Kate,

Thanks for the Christmas Card, glad to see that things are going well for you in down under land and hope that you are coping with the language. It has beeen said that Autralia is like the US of A in one respect, that Australia and the UK is one people speaking a different langiage.

Please find attached a Christmas card for you from us, that's Kevin, Sue, Vicki, Nigel, Rhys, Ellie and Taylor, who are now with us for the holidays.

http://ecards.myfuncards.com/myfuncards/Holidays/Christmas/12034/sv_55_01_Christmas_Island.jhtml

The weather here is not too bad cold, but not a lot of frost, with quite a lot of Winter sunshine, but trying to keep up with the lifestyle is getting very hard. as we seem to be having at least 2 "do's" every weekend with half of them in Bradford, so the mileage on the car is going up alarmingly.

There's also a New Year Card for you (Ed - please take notice)

http://ecards.myfuncards.com/myfuncards/Holidays/NewYear/12072/sv_55_04_New_Years_Cork.jhtml

and finally here are some Tommy Cooper one-liners, that you may wish to tell to the ozzers, i've put in one-liners so they may be able to understand them!

Man goes to the doc, with a strawberry growing out of his head. Doc says 'I'll give you some cream to put on it.' He said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs and put it in a library.' I thought 'That's a turn-up for the books. And the back of his anorak was leaping up and down, and people were chucking money to him. I said 'Do you earn a living doing that?' He said 'Yes, this is my livelihood.' So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me 'Can you give me a lift?' I said 'Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.' So I got home, and the phone was ringing. I picked it up, and said 'Who's speaking please? ' And a voice said 'You are.' So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.I went to the doctors. He said 'What appears to be the problem?'. I said 'I keep having the same dream, night after night, beautiful girls rushing towards me and I keep pushing them away'. He said 'How can I help?'. I said 'Break my arms!' My wife had a go at me last night. She said 'You'll drive me to my grave'. I had the car out in thirty seconds. I went up into the attic and found a Stradivarius and a Rembrandt. Unfortunately Stradivarius was a terrible painter and Rembrandt made lousy violins I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. A policeman stopped me the other night, he taps on the window of the car and says: 'Would you please blow into this bag, Sir'. I said: 'What for, Officer?' He says: 'My chips are too hot'. I got stopped again last night by another policeman. He says: 'I'd like to follow you to the nearest Police Station'. I said 'What For?'. He said: 'I've forgotten the way'. So I said to the taxi driver, 'King Authur's Close'. He said, 'Don't worry, we'll lose him at the next set of lights'

Have a Merry Christmas and a very Happy and Prosperous New Year, with love from all of us in Barmby.

Hi Kate

Hows things? You in Sydney now working and stuff? I'm in Goa yipeeeeee just escaping the sun for a while in an internet cafe, its hard work here been doing some serious sleeping, sun bathing and body boarding haha! I have a website on here too its offexploring.com/debanddan. Whats your email address, cos I will add you to it and then we will know where we both are in the world so we can hopefully cross paths at some point. Hope you are having fun! Take care petal x x x x

Hi Ed and Kate

Just been catchin up on your travels - wow, you look to be having a fantastic time!! Lucky you!!

We are busy getting ready for Christmas and enjoying (NOT) the dark days!! Went to see Tom at Uni the other weekend and he is loving it!!

Take care and enjoy yourselves - im sure you are!!

Nothing else to say........................yes Ed I know thats unusual for me!!!!

Love Tracey

xxxxx

Hi Kate - Just wishing you a very happy birthday - though I think we might be late! It is very difficult trying to find a time to ring cos I think we are now 16 hours behind you - we did think of you though. Hope you have managed to find jobs - we now have a phone connected so will try and ring you soon. Lots of love to you both, Jane & Neil xxxxxx

Hi there Kate & Ed

Just seen the Fiji blog. See you have forgotten the English lessons, the dreaded "awesome" is back in abundance. Had your M & D plus Andy & Tracey for B & B on Sat and Sun. Quite a hectic time for me, starter, main, 2 desserts and cheese & biscuits on Saturday pm. Got them all out for a walk on Sunday (before breakfast), it was windy and rainy, but everybody worked up an appetite fot the full (and I do mean full) English that was then cooked. I think i went a bit over the top and we definitely spoilt them with 2 different types of sausage and 3 different types of eggs,along with all the rest (including Black pudding and Fried Bread). Your mum & Dad washed up and then we sat down to read the Sunday papers. M & D were the last to leave (at 2:00 pm) but it was a good weekend, shame you weren't there to share.

I see that you have lots planned for your stay in Oz - does it include you going to see the wizard? Have you tried a full Oz breakfast yet - supposed to consist of 8 tinnies!

Well that's it for now, just wanted to get in a Jibe about the Return of Awesome

All the best anyway, talk again soon

Love

Susan and Kevin

Today's Joke:

Guy goes to the doctor.
"Doc, I've got a cricket ball stuck up my backside."
"How's that?"
"Don't you start!" Another Joke: A burglary recently occurred at Newcastle United's ground. The entire contents of the trophy room were stolen. The police are now looking for a man with a black-and- white carpet.

And finally, one specially for Ed:

A MAN'S GUIDE TO FEMALE VOCABULARY

Fine Used to end an argument when a woman feels she is right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" as regards a woman's looks - this will just begin such an argument.

Go ahead This means "I give up" or "Do what you want, I don't care". Followed by a "go ahead" (raised eyebrows), a "nothing" and a "fine.

Go ahead (raised eyebrows) A dare, which will result in a women getting upset over "nothing" and result in her using "fine".

Loud sigh Not actually a word, but a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "loud sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "nothing".

Nothing It means the opposite, and is a warning to be on your guard. It is used to describe the feeling a woman has when she wants to turn you inside out. It can spark an argument that will end with "fine".

Please do Not a statement, but an offer, giving you the chance to come up with an excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. Tell the truth and you shouldn't get a "that's OK".

Soft sigh Another kind of non-verbal statement. A "soft sigh" means that she is content. Your best bet is not to move or breathe, and she will stay content.

Thanks A woman is thanking you. Do not faint, just say "you're welcome" in reply.

Thanks a lot Different from thanks. A woman says, "Thanks a lot" when she's really ticked at you. Do not say "you're welcome" in reply.

That's OK A highly dangerous statement. "That's OK" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done.

Hello you two! Hows it going and where in the world are you now!?!

I can't believe the luxury van you ended up with that is awesome, gutted we missed out on the sleepover though!! Very proud that the crayfish made it on your photo albums! Also loving the photos of us with Fergburger!! That was so damn good!

We are living and working in Melbourne at the mo, well Andrew is working I am still a lady of leisure! Plan is Sydney for NYE if we can find somewhere to stay!

Anyhow keep in touch and let us know how you are doing!

xxx

Hello, Sounds like you are both having a really good time.The british winter is starting to kick in now, not been too cold yet but is Dark in the morning going to work and the same coming home, so all in all pretty miserable.

I've got next weekend off so taking Tessa to the Zoo, some how don't think it will quite be the same as the wildlife your seeing.

Only 3 weeks till damian comes over, really wish I could see in the New Year in Sydney, Anything would beat the village roundabout I think.

Nothings new over here with me, however I have bought a house! should complete in the next couple of weeks so very exciting!!!

The house is one of the stone Terraces just down from the shroggs!!

Hope you Enjoy the rest of your Travels and will be in touch soon x x

Sorry about the bad spelling in the previous message (sure you still get the drift) was annoyed at losing the first message!!!

x

This is my sceond attempt at writing this message worked out the complex sum of 4 + 1 wrong and somehow lost the message I wrote first.

I shall sun it briefly,

Hope your both still ok looks very good, wish i comign to fiji with you its very cold here.

I have got my house now, so much to do and taking a hell of a long time and costing so much money!

Everyone is fine back home and your brother is coming round to do some plastering tomorrow, finger crossed teddy he wont be as messy as you are and plus he doesnt need to stand on a radiator to reach the tall bits!!!!!!

Well keep in touch and it has been noticed that I haven't received an email yet too (only joking)

Spenny xxx

Dear Ed & Kate,

Have just read the lastest blog entry and am now seriously worried.................. the word "Awesome" didn't appear once (maybe i missed it).

I think that you have been away from England too long - your English is definitely improving, the vocabulary is also. Do they do English classes on Dobrudden Farm?????

Found a new site (for me) for jokes on a site called GQ (no idea what it is but appears to be some sort of up market lads mag. Here is the joke that was voted as England's favorite in some survey or other:

Two weasels are sitting at a bar. One starts to insult the other.
He screams: "I've slept with your mother!"
The bar gets quiet as everyone listens for what the other weasel will say.
The first one yells again: "I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!"
At last, the other says: "Go home, dad, you're drunk."

Well that'sit just a short message tonight, but to set your mind at rest I'll try not to poison M&D on Saturday (well not with food anyway, maybe a little alcohol, but you know us in moderation only (not))

TTFN

Sue and Kev

Hi Ed & Kate

Love your updated blog and your photos. Just thought we would add to your great messages - we really enjoy reading them all - especially the ones from 'Uncle Kev'! We are going over this weekend with Andy & Tracey so that should be fun!! When you go back to NZ be sure to get a big enough place for us to visit (and Gran & Geoff!!!). Hope your job hunting is successful in OZ - and watch that balcony!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lots of love and kisses to you both

M & D xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx