First off... if you have a hankering to visit Russia and live even remotely normal lives... this is not the way to do it. You should apply and pay (albeit with much paperwork and painfully) for a visa, go for at least a couple of weeks, take your time. Definitely see Moscow as well as St Petersburg (maybe even take the Trans Siberian train). Of course, if you are like us (and not eligible for a library card) or you can get to Helsinki easily and don't mind a bit of a rush - then this caper is for you! Travel visa free for 72 hours to St Petersburg via the St Peter Line ferry from Helsinki - transport and a means to visit an otherwise awkward to visit country. But boy oh boy... we never said it would be easy.
We left Tallinn, Estonia early, about 6.45 am (not stupid-o'clock, but early enough to make it a long day), taxi to airport for flight to Helsinki at 8.30am. We could have taken the ferry as it turns out - Spring has come early to the Baltics this year, but we couldn't risk bad weather holding us up, so chose the 30 minute flight instead. Then onto the super-efficient Finnair bus to the hotel to drop off our big bags - definitely no need to cart those all the way to Russia and back. That all went astoundingly efficiently. In fact we then had 2.5 hours available - we hung out in the hotel lobby catching up on correspondence before jumping in a taxi to the port. We got there nice and early (1 pm for a 2 pm check-in - we are allergic to crowds and queues). Turns out check-in had been pushed to 3 pm due to late departure of the ship. Sigh... We finally boarded the MS Anastasia at 4.30 pm - combination car ferry & cruise ship with a capacity of 2500 people (and over 800 staff... huge!) Just us and 2,498 other folks. Our little cabin was very cosy (who needs a window!) and we opted to have 2 single beds instead of the smaller bunk room - so it felt quite spacious all things considered. An Italian company has taken over management this year and dinner (a buffet) was even more enjoyable as beer and wine were included which was a great surprise. We say it's a combination ferry/cruise ship, because unlike on a regular cruise, food is an 'extra' that can be booked and paid for when booking online... or paid for in cash on board. This was coming as a huge surprise to people who turned up at the restaurant at dinner time and were very insistent it was included. So. Not. Included. A few wines and we were snug as bugs (bugs with ear plugs) by about 9.30 pm. There was a lot of partying going on in the various bars around the ship (not to mention the shopping frenzy hitting the duty free store... dinner for many consisted of wine or spirits and bags of chips... they obviously didn't know about the included drinkies with the buffet!) We were up bright and too early for breakfast (again with the changed schedules) then we had smoked salmon and prosecco for breakfast - very nice way to start our 'Rush to Russia' trip. We made it down to the debarkation zone at 8 am - in order to be right at the front of the enormous scrum of people wanting to get out as soon as possible. Escapes started with the 500 odd posh cabin/prepaid excursion folks at 9.15 and then we were first out the door after them at 9.30 am - We then headed down the gangway and to immigration... just us and the 2000 rabble behind us - that's when the queueing fun really began. There were 7 booths and about 300 people still in front of us (the posh left over ones still being processed). It took an hour to get through them as they were checking every stamp in each passport - so about 10 minutes per person. Remember we were at the front of the peasants queue and there were about 2000 behind us. So we did well to get to the shuttle bus at 10.30 am. Finally outside into the fresh Russian air - wow!!! 
Our zippy little driver had us dropped in St Isaac's square quicker than quick and we checked in early (11 am) to a posh hotel we eventually got a great deal on (booking direct at the last minute). It's not often our hotels are a) hotels or b) have the word 'palace' in the name - so staying at the Petro Palace Hotel just outside of the main square was awesome! (Heck - we're likely only visiting Russia once). We celebrated our early check in with a hot drink in our new mugs from the market in Tallinn. Then we were off, like shots from a gun, to the one and only Hermitage Museum. We are generally lucky folk (and when we're not, we just plan and plan and ferret out deals so we look lucky). Two years ago we visited all the sites in Athens for free as it was the European Heritage Weekend in September. As it turns out the first Thursday of every month is free entry to the Hermitage Museum - so that was a saving of A$30/€20. The Hermitage is the second largest museum in the world (after the Louvre). It holds 3 million pieces of art (thankfully not all on display at once). The thing the Hermitage is most famous for however is people getting lost. It is huge and confusing and several connected buildings - but don't worry - we found a self-guided walking tour online, read up in advance, then tootled about quite happily going ooh and ahhh at the amazing state rooms in the Winter Palace - once home to the ill fated Romanov Tsars (before the 1917 revolution that is). The rooms were massive, opulent and chandeliered to the max! We saw some phenomenal art in the main part of the Hermitage including Da Vincis, Rubens, Rembrandts and Michelangelo. Now while the state rooms were incredible, the art highlight for us was across Palace Square in the General Staff Building - 100s of impressionist masterpieces on one floor. In total we spent over 4 hours at the Hermitage then it was time for late lunch/early dinner at around 4.30 pm - potato pancakes and dumplings stuffed with mash potatoes and herbs - serious 'stick to ribs' food. We changed a few euro into Rubles just for postcards and a badge... always feels strange when things cost in hundreds and thousands! It was a beautiful blue sky and sunny day (very rare in St Petersburg at this time of year apparently), and we were in no hurry to use the metro system after the incident earlier in the week, so we walked a couple of kilometres up the main street - Nevsky Prospekt - taking in the sights along the way. We eventually reached the Faberge Museum - given it's Easter this week it seemed a very appropriate time to view the amazing Faberge eggs created as gifts from the Tsars to their families. The were intricate and beautiful but there was so much more to see through several rooms - well worth the visit. We are actually surprised that the Russian rulers didn't lose their heads a lot sooner than 1917 - the decadence and opulence of the ruling class seems even more extravagant than prior to the French Revolution. We spent an hour or more at the Faberge and the sun was finally starting to set after 7 pm. However we had a shred or two of energy left and walked back to the hotel via the Saviour on the Spilled Blood church - the most Russian of churches. It was actually built in by Tsar Alexander III to commemorate the spot upon which his father (Alexander II) was fatally wounded in an assassination attempt in 1881. He wanted it to be a traditionally Russian church to fight the perceived contamination of western influences in St Petersburg (such as St Isaac's which is very similar to St Peter's Basilica in the Vatican). The Saviour is therefore very similar to St Basil's in Moscow. It was looted after the revolution despite having been elevated to Cathedral status in 1923. It was actually closed in 1932 and essentially became a garbage dump. Then it suffered a lot of damage in WWII. Since it became a part of St Isaac's Museum, it has been completely refitted and the 7000 sqm of mosaics have been restored. The outside is a magical confection and we were out for another hour or more just looking at that and finally walking back to the hotel. It would have been nice to stay out until after dark to see the Winter Palace lit up (but we would have needed body doubles to accomplish it). The few clouds that had been floating about disappeared as night fell and then it started to get very cold, very fast - so it was nice to reach the hotel and digest the day - bit of a book, bit of a bath then off to bed. It seemed that tomorrow arrived before we'd even shut our eyes and we fuelled up at the buffet breakfast (under chandeliers of course... Sydney has cockroaches and St Petersburg has chandeliers, they are ubiquitous). We joined our free walking tour at 10.45 am in Palace Square and immediately learned a book full of history. At least. Once more (dear friends) we were the oldest folks on the walking tour. This is ridiculous. Just two years ago when we were doing these tours, we were definitely 'middle of the pack'. We can only ascribe this recent phenomenon to being in the Baltics where tours are run at breakneck speed and last 2.5-3 hours without any sort of break. Perhaps they've scared off anyone older than us by sheer word of mouth. Anyway - was still a great tour and one of the highlights was actually meeting one of the permanent residents of the basement of the Old Hermitage - a guard-cat. There are currently 50 on staff. They are registered employees of the Hermitage Museum and paid (albeit in food and healthcare). In the (seriously) olden days they were genuine workers to keep the rats under control. After WWII when the Hermitage was in a bad way, they had to import a carriage of cats because there weren't enough to do the job locally. Now they are kept as a tradition - and it certainly makes more sense of all the cat pictures, postcards and souvenirs around the city. We zoomed (on foot) around many of the sights of St Petersburg and covered huge distances from Alexander's Column to the old Hermitage, the new Hermitage and the Atlases, the Embankment, the Fortress of St Petersburg and the 12 o'clock gun (albeit in the distance), the lighthouses, the bridges, The Bronze Horseman, The Admiralty, St Isaac's Cathedral, the Cathedral of the Lady of Kazan (where we finished the walking tour), then our own visit to the Saviour on the Spilled Blood - where we spent a solid 40 minutes looking at the stunning mosaics before hoofing it back to the hotel, onto the shuttle, back on the ship and taking a speedy and efficient afternoon nap before dinner. It seems news of the free wine and beer with dinner has spread (and then some). Compared to 10 or so waiting for dinner on the trip over, there were a 100 or more in the queue for the 6 pm sitting on the way back. An entrepreneurial Russisan just started another queue, so we joined that instead. Lovely dinner, many drinkies and a fascinating natter with a bloke who was either a) off his meds or b) seriously persecuted having been interviewed for 14 hours by the FSB en route to claiming asylum in Russia or c) MI6. Despite the fact that no one uses the phrase MI6 any more. Particularly not if you're denying it. Or d) just plain barking. My only concern was that if he was actually not medicated (or unmedicated) and was in fact a person of interest to the Russian security services... would they then think we were involved in heavens knows what. Either the bloke's been watching too many spy shows, or I have. We took in a fab guitar soloist and awesome saxophone show and a drunk Russian singing Karaoke (of the 3 he was definitely the Biggest Loser). We even had a dance. Then it was bed. Then very, very, lazy, casual, time-consuming prosecco buffet breakfast as we arrived into the port of Helsinki. No rush... take our time... leave the ship at 10.30 am or so, so there'll be no crowds... Well sort of. Only half an hour in the immigration queue. Actually think we were the only 2 non-Russian passports in the queue. Had a natter with the Border Guards. Then off on the tram to the hotel. Helsinki, we thinki, indeed.