Sat 2nd June
Before I begin, I want you to think of a word, a word to describe someone/people who are really REALLY irritating and annoying. Perhaps a four letter word? Got it? Now put it in capitals and hold that thought....

Late night before lots of noise - traffic, music, birds, a thunder storm and a man calling for prayers REALLY FECKIN' LOUDLY at 5am.
Breakfast tea/coffee and white toast with butter and jam (which is more like jelly - but it is jam...it's from Tescos!) met a dutch couple, we all agreed that travel was good anytime any age - even if other people think you're crazy.
Went back to bed.
Had lunch in "Lynn's Café". Frank had spagehti meatballs and I had gnocci. After we went for a walk in town Frank didn't want to miss the sunshine. So we walked up the other side of the river toward the sea. We found a bridge and crossed it but found no way of getting on to the beach as there was land reclamation. We turned back toward town having bought an ice lolly. Not long after I came over very sick and dizzy - possibly heat exhaustion, so back to the hostel for another lie down.
About 6 o'clock we woke up (Frank nodded off too), I managed to order a birthday card for nan despite the naff wifi, then I got a shower. Now the showers at Discovery Café are in the toilet cubicle too - like Wada hostel in Guilin. But there is no curtain/screen between you or the loo. And in fairness the drainage isn't that great either. Oh well '#hostellife' as they say. I had more fun too, trying to figure out how to turn the temperature up, whilst standing next to the porcelain pan. No success meant a cool shower which, having stuck my head under (hair needed washing) I got used to it soon enough. Whoa! Almost refreshing. Almost! Dried and dressed we went back to 'Shantaram' for Ayako's hearty orange pork and tuna potato dinner and Dus' beer. Joanne and Rod were there chatting to Peter - Ayako's husband - a thin, white, old man with dark glasses and scraggerly beard, wearing a bakerboy hat, white t-shirt and bright blue loose trousers. He just wouldn't be what you'd expect her husband to look like. We chatted more with Rod and Dus. Dus telling about his studies and career in sciences, pharmaceuticals and computer programming. Then his time running 'Shantaram'. A very intelligent and interesting man. Early night, needing the sleep we said goodbye at 10. In bed by 10:30.
...Awake still at 1am owing to the air conditioning being freezing (neither of us know really how to work it) we switch it off.
(Remember that word)
...Awake STILL at 5:30 due to some ----S listening to loud music from their suped up tin can car, with buddies, drinking on the main road.... absolute ----S. Ear plugs do nothing, as does the single glaze slide window.

Sun 3rd June
Police car turned up at 6:30am I think to shoo on the clubbing ----S, too little too late as they came back, briefly. There seemed to be loud talking.
Breakfasted we decided to search for A'Formosa. Through Dutch Square and up a small hill we found St. Paul's church remains, built by the Portugese, relocated then reinstalled for tourism. It had a good view of the sea...and the thunder clouds that were approaching. Round the corner, down some steps to A'Formosa (a fort), kinda reminded us of a set piece from a spagetthi western film. After studying a tourism map/board we decided to take the river cruise as it seemed to go passed many sites. We paid a little too much for the cruise. It was 15RM for locals and 18RM for tourists. At the counter I asked for two tickets,
"Forty six ringget."
Huh?
The price goes up again at the weekend to 26RM. Oh well.
On the boat we sat ourselves at the front. It's quite a pleasant ride as you get to take in all murals painted on the backs of houses and cafés etc. that line the riverside. Further ahead I spotted a large branch in the water, that was curiously moving against the current. A triangular head peeped above the waterline, excited I pointed it out to Frank (and others on the boat) it looked like a crocodile, was it a snake?... definitely reptilian. And definitely big! It tucked itself under the shelter of some overhanging trees.
Towards the end of the boat ride there was a monorail. Something to check out and see abit more of Melaka and we'd be able to walk along the river to it too (not on the same side as the Jarassic Park escapee we had just seen though!).
Off the boat and into the information centre to find out about monrail which having been on the boat cruise we'd seen pretty much the same thing. I enquired about the traditional Malay houses, the village is called Morten and it was within walking distance along the river. Along the way we got a better view of the snake/reptile in the water. This time it was joined with a smaller one. It did look more like a lizard, its back looked thick and the head was too large for a snake.
Into Morten village is to step back in time. Most houses are on stilts and have corrigated high triangular double pointed roofs. All were dark maroon in colour and seemingly only one floor. A lot of the first few houses were offering 'homestay's. I.e you can stay with the family. A small mosque was on the edge. On the corner of the 40 or so property village was 'Sentosa Villa. A living museum'. A guy working in the garden ushered us in. A very old friendly lady welcomed us, inviting us to sign the visitors book. She told us about the generations of her family who had lived in the house ("9 generations"), her age "101" (we think) and something about her nephew. She showed lots of furniture and crockery from Europe - her grandmother and grandfather's belongings. It was a rather big airy house. We gathered her memory was fading as she would often repeat herself every few minutes. We would've loved to have kept her company for longer, but there wasn't much more to say or do.

Lunch in a riverside café 'Wild Coriander' had a fruit rojak - star fruit, pineapple, cucumber, green mango, lettuce, a brandy snap type biscuit covered in a spicy sryup sauce. (While there we booked our next hostel in Muar). A bit of confusion was had with the bill - the lad over charged us and then, once sorted, we realised he gave us too much in change.
Out for another walk, looking for a wifi cafe, (under less pressure) bought a magnet. I drank a rancid drink of tea flavoured cendol - Frank's coffee was nicer (sweet though). The heat outside was intense/humid 34°C. We manged to do some online banking. Back to the hostel to get a chill and shower for this evening.
We walked back along the river heading back to 'Wild Coriander' for dinner (and gave back the extra ringget the lad gave us). The menu looked good and varied and reasonanly cheap in price. Nasi Lemak with Chicken Rendang. Spicy but not ridiculous and again the rice was fragrant. Two Tiger beers to wash it down. Watching the river at night, bats swooping to eat up insects skimming the river.
We finally managed a walk along Jonker Street. The famous stall lined buzzing weekend market. Coconut shakes from a coconut, fried foods, trinkets and souvenirs, jewellery - some hand made, some not. A Malay busker strumming two chords, singing nouveaux* style "..can't take my eyes off of you, can't take my eyes off of you..." Going for a third?.."Can't take my eyes off of you..." yep "can't take my eyes off of you..." oh and a fourth repeat don't think that's in the original song! Further along more stalls and fried smells we spot a gathering and something sounding like Karaoke. We should've guessed really - we were in China town afterall. There was a bandstand type stage on which was a mic and monitor set up,  complete with Chinese singer and amusingly an older lady being the back up dancer. Audience sat in plastic cheers lapped up each performance in the dimming twilight while nibbling on the nearby street food. Good fun to watch and brought back sweet memories of the Chinese parks we'd been to. Another wonder back up Joncker Street ("can't take my eyes off of you" - need to extend your range mate) and snacks consumed we popped back into Shantaram to chat with the gang. And met a young Frenchman, Pieter, who had cycled his way to Malaysia! He was telling us of his (good) experience travelling through Iran. More guitar playing and stories.

*Nouveaux style - think of a great song that's been sung acoustically by a tone deaf sopping wet Andrex puppy - becuase it sounds 'arty' - ruining every great song ever written.