Hey People

So an update on my time in the jungle before I head off to Laos. I was being quite relaxed about the rest of my time in SEAsia - planning on spending a month in Laos, a couple of weeks in south Thailand and then maybe some time in Malaysia. Until I had the revelation on the way to the jungle that I am flying to India in one month and therefore will be pushed for time as it is. I can't believe how fast my trip is going. I'm about halfway through now :( Anyway, before I try and fit two months of activities into one month, jungle trek!

I have spent the last 72 hours with David Beckham, Tom Cruise and Jack Black. Yes, the celebrities of Thailand, and I even had them cooking for me and carrying me off elephants (it was high!). I'm not sure why they have those particular nicknames, Tom Cruise was as expected very short, and David Beckham was quite good at football. Jack Black was neither funny nor fat though. There were also four Israelis who spent a large proportion of the time drinking, it's the first time I've seen someone prepare for a trek by downing a couples of cans of beer. Also on the trek was Mike, an American, non-alcoholic, and a multitude of bugs in various shapes, sizes and ways of inflicting suffering on the human body.

It did turn out to be non-touristic, save for some children trying to sell us bracelets (you may think this is cute and I am heartless, but try being offered bracelets everywhere you go for three months and you realise the you both run out of arm space and that it gets old very quickly - I already have about ten bracelets, which is more than one can comfortably wear). We didn't see any other tourists the whole time and we must have gone pretty deep into the jungle. The first day was more walking up and down hills which was pretty hard going. Perhaps it would have been easier with a beer. We spent the night with a family who lived by a stream and round the corner from a waterfall - which actually was the shower Beckham had told me about the night before we set off - so they had no need for plumbing or electricity. They had a little boy who lived with his grandfather and a random man and woman, not sure who they were, and none of them could speak English. The little boy could though, he'd obviously picked it up from the tourists coming through and he was really clever and quick with everything. We played some games in the evening which made absolutely no sense to me but it was a lot of fun, including one where we had to shout out numbers and if you made a mistake you got soot wiped on your face. Needless to say, we all ended up with black faces. The boys grandfather was smoking opium in the corner and we were casually offered some, which most of us declined. You had to pay for the water, but the drugs were free it seems.

We slept in this bamboo hut on the floor which was both hard and cold, so not the best night's sleep I've ever had, but worth it for the experience. The next day was the elephant riding. I was very blasé about this beforehand, as I'd done this in Vietnam and it wasn't that good. In Vietnam we were given a metal box to sit in which was strapped very securely to the elephant's back, and we boarded the elephant from a platform. In Thailand, they don't do that. They make the elephant lie on the floor, and then tell you to get up. When an elephant is lying down, it is still as tall as a fairly big horse, so it's kind of difficult to clamber up there. Mike had the neck, so had giant flapping ears and moving shoulderblades to content with. I was on the back, which was very broad, so I spent about an hour practically doing the splits, and having to stick my legs in the air (whilst 12 feet off the ground and going up a big hill on an elephant) in ways a gymnast would have been proud every time we went past a tree (frequently) to avoid either losing a leg or toppling off. There were also several low hanging branches, with thorns. It was an experience, definitely, and I'm proud to say I've done it, but next time there's an opportunity to ride an elephant I'll be running in the opposite direction.

In the evening I got to help with the cooking (something only being away from home for four months would make me excited to do) and chatted to Tom Cruise. I love these tiny Asian men, they're so full of energy and always playing and joking around like schoolboys. Tom Cruise was actually only 17, so almost a schoolboy, and he wore his hoody inside out as a fashion statement and one fingerless glove. I have pictures of him wearing aviator sunglasses on a motorbike, he looks so funny, definitely a cool kid.

Today we went bamboo rafting which was pretty fun, and a lot less stressful than elephant riding. Mind you I wasn't one of the ones who fell in the water so I may have had a different story otherwise.

Well, I need to do a few things before I set off tomorrow for Laos, like buy a book about Laos so I know where I'm going, and check out the Chiang Mai weekend market. Getting to Laos takes three days as I need to go on a boat which should be fun. I considered doing this on my own but decided just to go for the package trip as the cost probably works out the same.

Laters me dearies

x