2nd December

I found myself thinking today how it was that my life seems to see-saw from 'good' to 'bad', good being when things are going well, my job prospects are favourable, my finances are okay and everything else and bad being when everything is utterly hopeless and going crap. Then I realised that rather than my life actually being like that, it is rather my perception of it is.

Typically for a Libra, I tend to view things in black-and-white, they are either 'great' or 'hopeless', with not much in-between-ground. When things start to go well my brain gets all excited, I see it as a snowball effect and take 'maybes' to be definite, I imagine each good thing leading to more and more until life is peachy; as soon as things start going wrong, I catastrophise. Every little knockback makes me feel as if things are on a downward spiral and I cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel.

After my infuriance last night at the snotty snoring girl, this morning things seemed much much better, i was pretty optimistic, I had a trial shift at a cafe at 11am and hope-fuelled confidance in my own abilities meant I saw the trial as a mere formality, i couldn't see any reason why I wouldn't get the job, I hoped to work for at least three hours today and in my head, I had already spent the money I would have earnt. I texted the man about a room I saw a few days ago, which I have warmed to in the days since seeing it, and was encouraged to discover the room was still not taken, I arranged to go for a second look tonight. Up up up!

Things started to go wrong when I went to have my breakfast and someone had stolen my milk out of my food bag so I had to have my coffee black, and my meusli with just yoghurt, no milk. This was annoying! Having decided that I will probably go for this room, I need to give the landlord guy 2weeks bond and one weeks rent at the weekend, which leaves me with aboslutely NO CASH whatsoever, and I even have to get a sub from work to be able to pay the bond. So with $0 I cannot buy more milk! the thought of endless mornings of black coffee dampened my spirits, I just don't like it black!

So that was a bit annoying. I walked 50minutes to the cafe for my trial shift, not an unpleasant walk, quite a part of it was through parklands, although the last 15minutes was along a horrible traffic-clogged industrial thoroughfare. But I figured it was worth it to get the work, but when I got there, it turned out to be not a trial shift, but just an interview, the lady got me to make three coffees, which she said were great, I was there for max. 15minutes, after that walk, and they won't even be taking on new staff for at least 2-3weeks, so she'll maybe give me a call then. That's not much good to me, when I need the money NOW! I was so annoyed, I was nearly crying with disappointment on the walk home, in the blazing midday heat, being harrassed mercilessly by two big black flies. Inside my head I was wailing "whyyyyyy won't anyone employyyyyyyy meeeeeee?"

Pretty soon though, I realised the futility of this silent inner-screaming and managed to turn it around into motivation. Perhaps a sign of how low things have sunk that I finally caved and went into Hog's Breath to ask for work (they said hm,ha,dunno,maybe). I went into a few more cafes/pubs then into this restaurant called Gauchos that had advertised for staff in the paper. The manager guy said unfortunately they were looking for long-term staff and I wouldn't be around for long enough, but he was REALLY nice and he gave me the names of two friends of his that have restaurants in Glenelg, just a tramride away. He said he'd ring them and let them know I was coming down to see them, he wanted to keep my CV but I explained that he couldn't because it was my last one and I didn't have any money to pay to print more.. he said "that's no good!" and gave me $4 to print ten more!!

He said he remembered what it was like to be a poor backpacker, and i couldn't go looking for work without resumes to give people! After he said about the other places, the lady also working there gave me $4 for the tram to Glenelg! I feel a little bit bad that people gave me money and I accepted it, but if I go for this room, I need all my money for the bond and without that $8 I couldn't have printed CVs or gone to Glenelg to see a guy in a fish restaurant there who said he'd definitely give me a ring next week and get me in for a shift! He said not much work the next week or so but it will go up and January there should be heaps of hours, so I'm well glad I went into Gauchos, allowing all of this to happen and for my down to swing back upwards!

It actually appears that my stint at Hoggies may have been good for my CV. The guy at the Fish restaurant I went into in Glenelg explained about how it's table-service and each staff member looks after one section, and could I cope with that? And I said yes, that's what we did at Hoggies, I mean, ovbiously Hog's is very differnet to here (it was a nice posh restaurant!) but he agreed and said that it's the same level of service as Hoggie's. So I think it's great that Hoggie's adds that table-service aspect to my CV, allowing me to have a chance in a wider range of jobs! Whoo!

Back in Adelaide, the tram had cost just $2.70 so out of the $4 gift, I had $1.30 remaining, EXACTLY the cost of a litre of UHT skim milk, which i promptly purchased. Perfecto!

So now things are okay. I just rang a bloke about an advert on the noticeboard in Shakespears and it seems that I may be able to spend tomorrow helping to paint a barge, to earn a bit extra cash, maybe even enough that I will not have to get a sub from work in order to pay the bond on the room, that would be great! But I must not take it as a given, maybe I won't be able to work there tomorrow, maybe I won't earn much, maybe it will rain, who knows. I must be realistic and hold my gallopping emotions in check!