I'd like to apologise in advance if this blog entry is a heap of crap. Turns out, I'm hungover. 

Mum, I've had some orange juice and a bit of toast... and I don't feel any better. Can you come get me? 

I've been a lazy bum bum with the blog... So because I'm nice, I'll tell you all that's happened over the past couple of days. We went to LA Zoo, and we loved it. There were so many weird creatures waddling about the joint. The zoo was split up into different sections, this was to avoid animal collision. It also made it easier to find all the cool animals (ELEPHANTS!), and to avoid the not-so-cool animals (Magpies). 

There were different enclosures:

• Reptiles
• Insects
• China
• Australia
• India 
• Farm Animals 

I'm probably missing some really obvious ones... You must remember, I'm broken today. I actually smell a bit homeless too... So consider yourselves lucky. You best enjoy this entry! I should be in bed, wallowing in my own, little, alcoholic bubble. 
We got some great snaps. I'm just happy we got to see a bear. He was my favourite. I would've said the elephants were pretty cool, until I intensively watched one of them eat. Tossing so much grass dust into his moosh. Made me feel physically parched. Imagine pouring a bag of flour down your throat... Yeah that's how this elephant made my mouth feel. BONE DRY. 

So, then I got a Pepsi. 

The Toucan made me laugh. He just kept grunting and hopping on to different branches. I think the Giant Otters were getting on his wick. 

Oh yeah, we took a picture of a depressed goat. 

We headed back to the Hostel. They had some 'Comedy Night' going on ... (with free beer!!). I don't like beer. Anyway, it was a chilled one after a long day at the Zoo. 

I was speaking to one of the guys who's staying in our dorm. He's Italian, and he's studying screenwriting over here alone! I found him fascinating. One, because every time he spoke, his voice made me think of Pizza, and two, he was 'uber' enthusiastic about it. I found it really interesting. 

Haha, there's this other guy who's staying in our dorm. He's English. Both me and Moses agree that he reminds us of someone back home. He has the same mannerisms and he even looks like the guy we were thinking of. He's all posh and ponsey... He's also the first person I've ever heard use the word 'uber' in a proper sentence (without taking the piss). So that's a snippet of entertainment we've scrounged from our dorm. No name dropping, not just yet. If we get a picture of him... You guys would guess straight away. 

Quote Of The Day

(Whilst watching the elephant eat) 

"f***. It's like eating Weetabix without milk."

"Straight Weetabix."

YESTERDAY

Was a cool day. Got me Mr Motivator gear on and went for a mental workout down the park. Received some unwanted attention. This weird, little Mexican guy commented on my tricep dips ... Couldn't understand a bloody word he was saying... Then I realised, as he walked off, his right hand was keeping an opened can of beer nice and safe... Nothing wrong with a 10am beer, right?! He took a glug and off he went.

This other dude walks up to me straight after the beer guy... 
"I saw that guy like, walk right up to you... I was like, what the faack mayn?"... He was also a weirdo... But without the beer. Couldn't really avoid this one. He asked me out for coffee on the spot. I was sweaty?! And I knew full well I smelt funky... Crackhead?! Most definitely. 

So I ran back to the hostel... I found normal-ish people. 

Me and Mo headed out to Whimsic Alley. It's this massive geeky shop that sells all these mystical, magical gizmos. They had weird props and masks, keyrings, costumes, hats, jewellery etc... And they all related to the books and films like Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Game of Thrones, The Hunger Games, you name it! A NERD FEST. They also had a dining hall set up with floating candles (like the food hall in Harry Potter). They held kid's parties and functions there. 

Me and Moses took this opportunity to piss about and take some funny pictures. We tried on some of the masks, and hats... Like a couple of absolute toddlers. 

Proper nerdy joint though. They even had a wand shop!! You could buy a wand stand prop your newly purchased wand. They weren't cheap either. I pondered, and started thinking to myself... What a load of b******s. 

It was FOOD TIME. Headed to Farmers Market... They have so much to choose from! They have little bakery stalls, kebab shops, Starbucks, candy stalls (with these crazy chocolate and toffee apples), Korean food, burgers, slow cooked meats, Italian food... LOADS. 

I found a Louisiana Restaurant, and tried Gumbo for the first time. It was ridiculously tasty. So so good. It tasted like spicy stew, with chicken, shrimp and veg. Also came with cornbread. I like cornbread. 
Mum, make some Gumbo when I'm back, yeah?? 

I think I talk about food too much... 

We did a bit of shopping. Retail therapy is key to maintaining your sanity... For us girlies anyway ;) ... Not sure if Moses would agree. 

On our way back... We had a look in this 'Whole Foods' shop. We've been looking for these things called Miracle Berries. They make bitter foods taste really sweet. For example they'd make Guinness taste like chocolate milkshake. Moses googled them, and it flagged up this 'Whole Foods' place. So we walk in, have a little look about. No luck. I bite the bullet. With a massive chance of me looking like a right herbal witch, I asked the Food Man if he's got these berries. 

He was really nice about the situation, so I reckon he must get regular witches in to buy these goods. 

I think I'm still drunk. 

Anyway, we still remain berryless. However, the wine there was a good price... 

"Mo, d'ya fancy getting sauced?" 

We got booze. Found some Chocolate Wine?!? And Moses bought himself a Travellers bottle of Jim Beam... This wasn't a small bottle... It was a 750ml plastic bottle. Which we found amusing. 

We sat on the Banana Bungalow balcony, and got hammered. This was funny. We were in tears at one point laughing about loads of silly stuff, reminiscing, and thinking up weird scenarios. 
Eating's cheating... So with that in mind... Dinner was carrot sticks and bean dip. Minimal food, results in a messy night. Bad idea. 

I fell off the toilet. 

We decided to go for a stroll around 2am. Walked up to Beverley Hills?!? And just took the right piss out of all the 'la-di-da' nitwits in the area. I'm surprised nobody called the police on us. 

Yeah we got pretty mashed. We're creasing up right now trying to piece the evening together. At one point... Moses stuck his head right in this Russian man's car... Started shaking hands with the whole gang. They were asking us for directions. We were no help to them whatsoever. Hammered Englishmen?! Zero help. 

Right, apologies for the essay. Hope it wasn't too draining for you. I'm gonna go stick my head down the toilet. 

Quote Of The Day 

(The dude in Whole Foods)

 "Erm, okay. You guys combine Wizard forces... And I'll go see if we've got these berries."