WAT? DON'T BE STUPA! STOP NAGA-ING! WE'VE ALL SEEN THE RETURN OF THE CHEDI…

We survived the Arctic Express and emerged bleary-eyed from the Dutch-designed Hualamphong railway station into the hustle and bustle of early morning Bangkok which was already gearing up for another day of frenetic activity. We had a mini tour of the city courtesy of the #53 bus and saw shopkeepers opening their shutters and market stalls being set up as we headed in the direction of Khao San Road, where all backpackers seem to migrate on arrival in the capital. We struggled to get ourselves and our heavy rucksacks off the bus as the impatient driver revved the engine, and it was only after we hit the ground that we realised that we hadn't paid for the bus journey - the conductor had ushered us straight to the back of the bus when we'd got on and hadn't then asked for our fares, and as the bus pulled away we saw him standing at the back of the bus, gazing back at us, presumably sending a few curses our way for fare dodging. Good start to our stay. After bemoaning the situation for a few minutes ineffectually, we wandered down an alleyway and suddenly found ourselves in a street full of Westerners having fried breakfasts and reading the Lonely Planet. We found a cheap hostel that wouldn't have looked out of place in a scene from 'The Beach' but which would be our home for the next three nights.

After a much-needed snooze we went for a stroll and found ourselves near a temple which was undergoing reconstruction. A friendly local appeared from nowhere just as we were studying our map and got chatting about the subject close to every Thai's heart - English football. He asked if we needed directions and told us that government-run tuk tuks are very cheap at the moment and could take us all around the city, and wait for us between stops - for only 20 Baht (40p). Also, we just had to take advantage of the fact that for one day only, the government had cut VAT on everything to help stimulate the ailing economy. He pointed out on the map a few temples for us to visit and suggested we also visit the Government tourist office and a tailor to get a suit made. It all sounded great and he flagged down a passing tuk tuk to take us on our way. Only later would we realise that we had just fallen for an elaborate, although not entirely disadvantageous, scam.

We wanted to find out about train travel north from Bangkok but the government travel agent was only prepared to offer us ridiculously over-priced organised tours so we left as soon as we could. From there we headed to the 'Lucky Buddha' temple, our first real encounter with Buddha, where we sat in awe for a little while and met a friendly local, who coincidently just happened to mention that we really should get a suit made at one particular store. From there we headed up to the top of the Golden Mount, from where we watched the sun set and got a fantastic view over the city. It was particularly memorable for giving us our first glimpse of saffron-clad monks praying, and as we walked back down, past a row of huge old bells, we watched them ringing the bells as they passed them on their way up. Nipping in and out of the traffic during our first proper tuk-tuk ride was great fun too. We were of course then taken to the suit shop and, although we had no real intention of buying anything, we went along with the salesman just to see how much they would charge. A lot, it turned out, but as the spiel went on, Duncan was getting more tempted and started bargaining him down to a more acceptable price, including, apparently, the Government tax rebate. In the end, a pretty good deal for a tailor-made suit was agreed upon, and Duncan got measured up and we left.

Finally, our driver took us to see the Big Buddha, an enormous golden statue in front of which hundreds of devotees were praying and worshipping as part of a special week of celebration. It was fascinating to watch the various rituals; putting gold leaf on the statues, writing prayers on special terracotta tiles, and praying with special fragrant flowers. Thousands more people were milling around the food stalls which had sprung up around the temple selling all sorts of food and drink including fried insects. We turned down the opportunity to sample battered cockroach and opted instead for the slightly safer chicken on sticks and fresh pineapple juice as we tried to take in all the sights and smells.

On the way back to our hotel we walked back via the (in)famous backpacker haunt of Khao San Road, a street where you can buy pretty much anything and where the hawkers compete with each other to sell you fake designer goods, entice you into their bar and advertise a nearby 'ping pong' show. We never realised that table tennis was so popular in Thailand! The atmosphere was brilliant but a million miles away from the sleepy islands on which we'd been relaxing for the past few weeks. Emma was persuaded to contribute to the local economy by buying a wooden frog that ribbits when you stroke its back with a wooden stick.

Next day it was time to do some proper sightseeing so we hopped in a tuk tuk to the Grand Palace, the official residence of the King of Thailand, although it is only used for official engagements nowadays. The palace is the most important Buddhist site in Thailand so the dress code is even stricter than when visiting other temples. Duncan had to swap his shorts for a hired pair of attractive baggy pyjama trousers in order to gain entry. The palace buildings were absolutely stunning and our tour guide showed us around a series of increasingly impressive golden temples that glistened in the bright sunshine. The ornate designs, colourful statues and the sheer scale of the buildings was amazing. The most important temple of all is the one containing the Emerald Buddha which is so revered that you are not allowed to take photos inside the building. The King (or now his son) changes the Emerald Buddha's outfits three times a year depending on the season - Wet/Rainy, Summer and Winter. The Buddha was wearing his Winter coat when we were there but it was hard to believe that it was Winter given how hot and humid it was already. Hard to imagine what Summer will be like when it starts next week. Unfortunately, we hadn't realised that the English-speaking tour that we'd signed up for would take us right out of the temple enclosure and we wouldn't then be able to re-enter on our ticket to go back and look at everything at our leisure, which was our one disappointment with the palace. But overall, the profusion of wats, stupas, nagas and chedis (that is, to those who don't know, temples, chedis, sea-serpents and stupas) was extremely impressive and will be an abiding memory of Bangkok.

Later we walked past hundreds of stalls selling bric-a-brac before we got to Wat Pho, the home of the enormous Reclining Buddha. The statue was incredibly impressive, huge and golden, but it was nearly impossible to do it justice in a photograph. The surrounding temples had yet more sparkling gold detail and elaborate artwork which we wandered around gawping as we had done earlier at the Grand Palace.

We had a 5pm appointment at the suit shop for Duncan's fitting. The half-finished suit fitted well but Duncan asked them to build in a little extra breathing space around the waist to accommodate the inevitable middle-age spread which will hit sooner or later - or even just lunch. It was only while we were here that we discovered the scam. We got talking to a German couple, Anna and Timo, who were waiting to collect a suit. They had had exactly the same experience as us - the chance encounter with a charming, English-speaking Thai, the cheap 'government' tuk tuk, the supposed tax rebate, the travel office, the friendly local at one of the temples eager to point you in the direction of the best-value suit shop in town. Luckily for us, less so for them, Duncan's hard bargaining meant that he was paying only half of what Timo paid for his suit. We found it hard to believe that everyone is in on it but we learned, from another tuk tuk driver who was disappointed when we picked up the suit a couple of days later and weren't interested in being taken to any other tailors, that they get given petrol coupons for bringing in customers and also receive around 15% of the total price if a suit is purchased. A very clever system. Not a scam, exactly, but a brilliant way of brining in business from unsuspecting tourists, where everyone benefits and takes their cut.

We went out for dinner and drinks with our new German friends, and headed across town to the Baiyoke Tower, the tallest building in Bangkok, where we admired the view of the city at night from the revolving outdoor platform on the 84th floor of the building. A cocktail was included in the entrance ticket so we belatedly had a Singapore Sling after our budget hadn't stretched far enough for one in Singapore.

Next day we took an express boat all the way through town down the river to Central Pier, a journey which gave us a good view of all the main sights on the waterfront including Wat Arun, the temple similar in style to Angkor Wat in Cambodia, where we'll be in a month's time. Bangkok is a very easy city to get around, despite some terrible traffic, as proved by us hopping off the boat and straight onto the Skytrain, the city's elevated metro system. This carried us right up north to Mo Chit station, where we joined the crowds at the Chatuchak weekend market Here hundreds of stalls were selling clothes, books, handicrafts, plants, food and, most disconcertingly, pets. It was more interesting than many other markets that we'd been to thus far on our travels, as it was aimed at locals rather than us tourists.

Later we headed back into town by metro, and had a drink at Jim Thompson's Café, a bit of an expensive expat hangout but worth it for a relaxing quiet interlude. As we arrived they put on a DVD which we hoped would be a modern blockbuster so we could settle in for a lazy afternoon, but instead it bizarrely turned out to be a bad 50s musical called 'Down Argentine Way' starring Betty Grable. Instead we got up-to-date with the local political shenanigans - well, as much as we could by reading the local English-language papers - and left as it was getting dark. From there, we wandered over to the notorious Patpong district, home to Bangkok's go-go bars and 'ping pong' clubs as well as a large night market where we practised our haggling skills by buying a few souvenirs including a miniature tuk tuk made from a Singha beer can, and a pretty vanity mirror.

We steered clear of the strip clubs and got a tuk tuk to Chinatown which was teeming with people and street stalls everywhere, specialising mainly in Shark Fin and Bird's Nest Soup. We avoided these and instead had some delicious dim sum dumplings. Sadly the stall claiming to sell 'the best dessert in Chinatown' didn't really do it for us later on. We'd hate to try the worst, as this concoction of kidney beans, butter beans and other indeterminate vegetables floating in a sickly sweet liquid chilled with ice was quite a challenge to our taste buds.

We collected Duncan's suit the next day which fitted pretty well, thankfully. We only had it in our possession for half an hour, as we took it straight to Banglamphu post office to send home rather than lugging it around the rest of South East Asia and China.

We really enjoyed our time in Bangkok and could easily have spent another week here. It's such an incredible, dynamic and lively city, with friendly fun people and a huge range of life to discover. Very exciting.

Sadly though it was time to move on again to our next destination, the small town of Nakhon Pathom a couple of hours west of the capital. We caught a coach there and, after checking into a nearby hotel, shared a plate of deep fried whitebait (much larger than the miniature ones you get back home) at the café on the corner, then carried on into the large square surrounding the enormous golden chedi, a plunger-shaped Buddhist monument, around which lots of food stalls had been set up. They really take food seriously in Thailand and this was another fine example, with people cooking up all sorts of fresh dishes. We chose some chicken and rice washed down with some fruit shakes before heading back to the our room to watch 'Britain's Next Top Model' of all things on TV. Truly dreadful…

We had travelled to Nakhon Pathom in order to get to the floating market at Damnoen Saduak first thing the next morning. We wanted to get there early to beat the tourist rush, but were almost thwarted by a very convoluted bus journey. The market wasn't quite as authentic as we had been led to believe but it was still really enjoyable floating down the canals in a longtail boat past ladies selling fruit and souvenirs on the canalside and in other boats. We bought a selection of spices from a colourful stall and munched on a bunch of small, sweet bananas to keep us going.

Back on dry land again an hour later we tried to find a way to get to Kanchanaburi and the Tiger Temple. It wasn't as straightforward as we'd hoped. A driver of a pick-up truck taxi offered to take us there for 200 Baht (£4) but that would've involved an hour long wait before we set off and a stop at a furniture shop en route so that the driver could earn some commission. Instead we flagged down a passing songthaew, basically a lorry converted into a bus, which took us to Bang Phie from where we caught a bus to Kanchanaburi. Due to a breakdown in communications on our part, we got off the bus in the wrong town. We asked a nice, smiley lady for directions and, despite speaking a word of English - or we a word of Thai - she nattered away to us incessantly as she went out of her way to take us across the road and show us where to buy a ticket for the next bus to Kanchanaburi. We finally made it to the Tiger Temple after another two buses, the last of which dropped us off beside a busy main road in the middle of nowhere from where we then had to trudge for half an hour under the midday sun to get to the Temple.

Was it worth all that effort? No. Unfortunately, after all that, it turned out to be a bit of disappointment. We had expected to see young monks stroking playful tiger cubs in a beautiful temple setting. Instead it was all a bit underwhelming and left us wondering how well the tigers are treated. It cost us £10 each to get in (a big chunk of our daily budget), there was no temple as far as we could see and the animals were kept in 'tiger canyon' where about ten tigers were laid out dozing (not drugged, allegedly) in the shade with metal chains around their necks. Each tiger had a keeper, not a monk, dressed in a bright pink T-shirt even though visitors are told not to wear bright colours as it can provoke the animals. The tigers were a great sight but we passed on the opportunity to pet them and have our photo taken with them, as we couldn't help but feel that it wasn't quite right for such beautiful wild animals to be treated like this. But of course their situation has to be better than the lot of many tigers of South East Asia, which have been hunted to the edge of extinction.

Before heading back to Kanchanburi, we had a lovely fresh lunch provided by a local temple in return for a donation, then went back to the main road to wait for the bus which, unfortunately, we had just missed. We resigned ourselves to a long wait but luckily we were picked up by a passing pick-up driver who just happened to be a friendly English plumber with a Thai wife. We sat in the back and enjoyed the hot breeze blowing on us like a hair dryer, and relished the door to door service they kindlly gave us. Back in town, sadly we didn't have enough time to visit the Bridge over the River Kwai but we did pass by the British Prisoner of War cemetery where some of the 6000 soldiers who died building the railway during World War Two are buried.

We caught another bus back to Bangkok and chatted to a very nervy German who was worried about missing his train. We were also hoping to catch a train that night so headed back to the main station with the intention of getting an overnight sleeper to Chiang Mai, in the north of Thailand. There were only two beds left on the train, one at either end of the sleeping compartment, so instead we decided to stay one more night in Bangkok and catch the first train the following morning. We were back on the streets, and found a grotty hotel behind the station which had a luxurious hole in the ground squat toilet. We dumped our stuff and got out as quickly as possible in search of dinner. We ate at a roadside stall but were somewhat put off our food by a large rat which scuttled past us just as our food arrived. The animal entertainment didn't stop there as a large elephant then lumbered past. Put off, the Tom Yam soup didn't go down so well, so we left and had some tastier food and beer at a second rodent-free stand, before collapsing into bed exhausted after another long day of travelling.