CHIANG MAI

Long train journeys are generally far preferable to long bus journeys (more room to move around, no stopping for traffic jams, buffet car often available), but when a sixteen hour journey becomes 20 hours, it's not so great. From the start, it was going to be a long day - the train left an hour late from Bangkok. But we've become relaxed about long distance travel, and were looking forward to sitting back and watching the beautiful Thai countryside pass by as we chugged north to Chiang Mai. Things were looking promising as we settled into the journey and were served some complimentary food and drink by the snappily dressed, airline-style hostesses.

Sadly it appeared that the train company had blown their budget on the staff uniforms and forgot to service the trains themselves. The train got slower and slower as time went on, and arrived at each station later and later, whilst our carriage got hotter and hotter. We assumed that the air conditioning on the entire train had failed and sweated it out with the other passengers, gasping for fresh air from the only fan slowly churning around in the heat. It was only at the town of Phitsanulok, hours later, that we realised that not only had the a/c failed in our carriage but so had all the power, so it was actually being dragged along by the rest of the train. The hostess advised us to move to the next carriage as they were shunting ours off to the train graveyard. It was only then that we realised that the other passengers had been enjoying air-conditioned comfort all along, while we sweated our body weight in the sauna compartment.

By the time we lurched into the hills it was too dark to see the spectacular views. Emma was shivering in the now freezing conditions of our new carriage. Our train finally gave up the ghost at 10pm when we crawled into Nakhon Lampang, so we were ushered onto coaches for the final leg of the journey. In our usual laid back Team West fashion we obviously hadn't got round to booking anywhere to stay, which can be a bit of problem when you arrive into a dark, deserted station at midnight. Luckily, we had made friends on the train with a couple who already had a hotel booking. They took pity on us and saved the day by ringing ahead to their hotel from the train to reserve a room for us.

It turned out that their hotel was a cut above our usual budget option. It had a swimming pool so, after sleeping off our train travel, we spent the next day there sunbathing and chatting to our new friends about their own round the world trip, how they were extras in Oliver Twist and, bizarrely, about lime kilns in Romania, a surprisingly interesting topic. But it couldn't last - well, our budget couldn't take it. After moving to a cheaper hostel for our second night (a place with a hot shower and a toilet that's not a hole in the ground is about as much luxury as it generally gets), we headed into town to explore the night market. We wandered around the various stalls and haggled for jewellery, before having a tasty dinner of dim sum and noodle soup at some of the friendly hawker stalls nearby. Entertainment was provided by two local guys playing bad cover versions of English pop songs. Funnily enough, their singing seemed to improve the more Beer Chang we drank.

One of the delicacies of South East Asian cuisine, which we had so far managed to avoid, were insects. We got talking to a Canadian couple who had clearly drunk even more than us as they had purchased a plate of freshly fried creepy crawlies. Inevitably the time came for us to try some and we were pleasantly surprised by the salty flavour of the smaller grubs and crickets, and the gooey banana texture and flavour cockroach innards. Not to be repeated too soon, but at least we know what they taste like now. After polishing off the insects and not noticing any immediate side effects (alcohol has an amazing anti-bacterial effect), the conversation moved seamlessly from the mundane topic of how Canadians view the British Royal Family to conspiracy theories. Clearly an authority on the subject, one of our companions launched into an extraordinary debate which culminated in the startling revelations that not only is the Queen the Head of the Illuminati (a secret grouping of the world's most powerful people who control the world and were responsible for 9/11), but that Prince William is the anti-Christ! The things we don't know… clearly cockroaches can have an unexpected effect on people…

Next day, we slept off our hangovers, and then did some sightseeing around the city where we saw a number of impressive temples and religious buildings. Chiang Mai is a fascinating, old city but unfortunately we didn't have enough time to see everything as we had to get a bus the next day to Chiang Rai. We got to the bus station at 8am with the aim of getting an early bus but were floored by a long queue for tickets which meant we left Chiang Mai much later than expected. It did, however, give us the opportunity to witness the respect that the Thais show to their national anthem which was blasted over the loudspeaker in the station at 8 on the dot. As one, everyone in the bus station jumped to their feet and stood in silence for the duration, catching us startled foreigners unawares.