"We went to Bali ... Saw God and Dali ..so mystic, surrealistic ..."
Okay, so we haven't seen God or Dali but this place is para, para, paradise - oh, uh, uh uh oh oh ur..
Couldn't think of an intellectual quote to head this - so went with Freddie Mercury instead (Was it all worth it).
First of all, I am sweating. I feel like a Vanilla ice cream cone that has been put in an oven. Basically, I'm melting and as Nicola knows, I get uncomfortable in the sun. Back in the fridge for me later.
At the moment we are in a cool bar called Ku De Ta which is funky and overlooks the sea. Makes me wonder why i am writing this. It is a refuge from the heat and believe me, it's hot - early 90s in the sun I reckon.
The Balinese are lovely people, although there are a few blaggers in the street. Hotel Amadea is very nice and modern, just visited the Oberoi Hotel which is fantastic and looked at a private villa - Wow. At 500 quid a night though it should be good.
Overall, Bali is dirt cheap though - about £1.50 for a beer and just £10 for a meal for two - the money is like Monopoly money really.
I get ahead of myself ...
We left Singapore yesterday. Lets just say both of us were going to the toilet a lot - in fact I have book coming out next year with my guide to Singapore's toilets ( to complement my Dad's tome on D'yer maker). Very good overall - as long as you avoid the squatting pans. Anna become a human trumpet for the day.
I continue to be an object of curiosity for people out here. Taxi driver thought we were Aussies and then told me that looking at my features I was "too white". An indonesian kid on the plane then starting laughing and pointing at me - its enough to make anyone paranoid. Well, I have accepted it - I am white and proud. Just like Nicola Roberts and Paul Scholes. Anna just finds it hilarious.
I digress, flight was a bit bumpy (air Asia) but we got here fine. Coming out of Denpasar airport is a bit of a mad house. Anna was carrying all the bags and at one point like a little Ethiopian refusing any offers of help in case she had to pay - "get away you" (it was only 5.000 ruppees who is about 30p). Still we are only on a thirteen grand budget, can't be too careful.
I will sign off with the newly constituted Bill and Jean ratings system we have adopted going forward. Hereby referred to as the "BJ" system:
5 = Top Notch
4 = Perfectly acceptable
3 = Acceptable
2 = Disappointing
1 = Poor
Thus far, everything has been 4 we think. Having said that, the journey from Bali airport last night was nuts. Tiny road - loads of cars and mopeds and no road etiquette. Was like a shanty town around the airport. Anna was not impressed and declared it would rate below a 1 on the BJ system.
Got to hotel no problem to be fair. Good nights kip, brekky was very good. Loads of Aussies. One last thing - everyone keeps bowing and putting their hands together whenever you make eye contact. I have also found myself doing the same - getting right into it.
Finally, whisper this quietly, but I think I'm getting into Asian women in a big way - quite a few cuties here, all skinny Minnies who make Anna look like a right heffa (thank god I am writing this in my private diary, otherwise what would Bill and Jean think! And as for Sideshow Bob, she would kill me!)
Enough of this rubbish - I'm off to tolerate the sun,enjoy a cocktail and prepare for the Liverpool vs United game tonight. Your off to freeze your nuts off and prepare for work tomorrow. It's a hard life .... By the way if Liverpool get beat, don't expect any update for the next few days ....