So far the travelling bit to get here has been relatively straight forward!! until now.. "catch the overnight train south" i was told on numerous occations.. so i did! Well if ever i could have borrowed Delorian from back to the future, this was the time! Train caught, all seemed pleasan, reclining seats though, not the beds i thoughts wed asked for.. ahh well plenty of spare seats so i can spread out!! er wrong again!! so there i am in an uncomfortable 'plane' like chair next to a smelly thai bloke who had his Mp3 player on so louds i could here his freak music clearly!! 11 hours like that isn't pleasant!! you did get a blanket and a but of grub on the way but it was sleep i was after.. fat chance!! 11 hours of torture was all i got.. couldnt read as the ligths were off as well!! welcome to real travelling!!

Got to Sura Tani at dawn and hoped that was the hard bit over.. nope!! A kind local pointed us to the 'bus to Phuket town' what she didnt say was that it was a minivan that was illegally taking us there driven by a relative!! 11 of us were jammed into this minivan, okay if you are a little thai man getting about but as i found out i was like Shaq O'Neil over there not too good for your normal westerner!! i swear my knees were shortened on that journey they were wedged in so tight for 3 and half hours.. miles worse that the train!! And to make things worse our'illegal' bus got pulled by the Police near the end and the driver spent 30 more minutes concocting some story to get him off!! anyway eventually got there and a taxilater and we arrived at Patong 17 hours after setting off!! ouch

The beach there is nice and i was chuffed to get my bronzed, tanned body out on display.. mm too much coffee.. the pale tired body came out for the first time!! that was a great insect repellant if ever i saw one!! Spent most of the time on the beach here and the sea was soo warm and the weather great.. but its the nightlife is wha people come here for and i found out why on the first night!! Well if ever ive felt like i was a fish out of water it was here. Into Patong center which is a long strip of clubs and bars.. we went to the complex with about 30 identical round bars in and it did strike me a bit odd that there wee dozens of Thai girls in each one but i thought they were just working there or on the pull! Also there were connect 4 board evrywhere on the bars? wierd but again being naive thought nothing of it.

A few beers later and the bars started getting busy with blokes young and old and the Penny dropped!! s*** the bed theeseThai women came alive and just flocked to everyone coming in, grinding, grabbing, pulling, holding.. it was like a rugby match.. worst of all the toilets were at the far end of the complex through it all.. tried as i could not to brak the seal, i had to go and i was glad to get back alive.. i sear i had 20 girls stop me and grab me. (like a normal night eh!!) well i kacked myself as i saw the connect 4 games filling up with dirty old westerners and these skinny thai girls. These girls didnt do anything for me so after 1 more..or maybe 2-3 ;o).. we moved onto the normal bars and got onto the Samsung rum to calm myself down and watch these 'couples' sloping off together!! I also saw a ladyboy bar which was amusing to say the least!!

That is Patong though.. every night its the same there.. nice beach.. sleazy blokes with Thai girls.. crazy! Reckon i know a few people who might like that though!! only stayed here a couple of nights but somewhere ill rememebr a long time!! Onwards to Phi Phi so bus caught!