Hello everyone,

Before reading the below extract and final blog for south east asia.....please read the followng key as it will help you to understand certain cultural words used throughout the extract and will prevent certain misunderstandings and presumptious definitions of what are infact light hearted or completely different meanings/definitions of words you may use yourself or hear in everyday English life.

Key:

Soldier = a man that will always drink with no regard to his own physical safety, or that of others. He puts alcohol and comradery before any woman be it his wife or girlfriend (the one exception is mothers - mothers are gospel to true soldiers). This is a legendary status that takes years of discipline and loyalty.

Black Cat = a man who has acquired an uncontrolable lust for the ways of the Asian woman.....it is beyond his control, incurable and statistically is proven to take control of one in every five men that travel in Asia.

Pat Pong market = a friendly local market where many westerners go to participate in local culture, dance and sometimes play table tennis or ping pong as it is known here, with the locals.

Crazy Canadians = a rare an indangered and highly dangerous species, who will drink you under the table at any given opportunity. The female of the crazy canadian species is by far deadlier than the male. They are well known for drinknig copious amounts of alcohol, smoking hooka's and then boxing with each other, and then dragging innocent English tourists into the sea as and when they please.

Hooka's = a pipe used to smoke flavoured fruits such as strawberry or blackcurrant....please do not confuse the term hooka with the English term hooker. I must stress that we did not endulge with Chang beers and hookers with the Canadian girls.

Chang = a local Thai beer, less than a quid for a huge bottle and approximately 8% strong..it's a good one.

Bird = an accepted yet frowned upon/darogatory term for woman.

Cheap lashes = the learned ability to pre-determine the amount of alcohol required at the cheapest possible price and consume this through the art of drinking games, prior to the actual night out itself, using minimum effort and maximum certainty.

Boat crash = please refer to the earlier blog where i desrcibed how us boys pretty much single handedly saved hundreds of drowning women and children.

Tubing - pretty much the best inventon known to man, drifitng down a river on a tube with music blazing, stoping every 100 metres at a bar to get drunk, do shots then swing off a rope swing.

Lao Lao = pronounced like 'ow ow' (sound of being hurt) with an L at the beggining. This is one of the most lethal shots known to man and in mass supply in Vangvien...Laos.

Bucket and Smile = two of the finest bars in Laos...fire shows and alcohol everywhere.

'My Son' = not an offspring of mine or any of the other boys....'my son' was ancient ruins which you didn't get to see cos it rained, thundered and lightining'd like you wouldn't believe.

Cu Chi Tunnels = tunnels dug by the Vietnamese during the Vietnam war to fight the Americans.

'Go To', 'Apocolypse Now', 'Crystal Palace' (the palace) = our local watering holes in Saigon.

Han = owner of the 'go to'bar and our personal tour guide for the week.

Saigon Athletico = the football team we joined in Saigon.

Being a lout = acting like Gazza.

Full Moon - a party on a beach which entails between 8 and 10,000 people painting every inch of their bodies in U.V paint and then drinking and dancing until they can no longer stand and the sun has arisen.

'b**** shut your trap' - a phrase used during our 12 man drinknig games...it is not intended as a daragatory or patronising term, you women are funy little creatures and often confuse things like this..so don't take it personaly girls...okay..don't cry...chin up yeah!!!

'Young and black with our hats real low' = refernece to a heartfelt and favourite song of ours.

'Fat Cat' = living beyond our means and daily budget...eating the finest steaks and siping the finest wines if you like.

Dallington Rovers = the best living football team in the world!!!!Please now go to the next blog for the main feature!!!

Now we can begin:

'Hello everybody

thanks for logging in once more

Now i'm sure you've all heard....or from somewhere caught word

That the five boys, are now down to four!!

And thus blog number seven

Is a tribute to Shark

The soldier, who drunk so much whiski

That it pumped from his heart.

Infact it was in combat

At the half moon in May

That are beloved Sharky

Was taken away!!

Bucket in hand,

Serving on the front line

When he fell, and was cut

It was never his time!!

What appeared as a scratch

On first inspection

Vastly got worse

And was to be an infection.

Five operations

An surgery through to the bone

Meant a skin graft was needed

And time to go home.

But good news has provailed

With the opp a success

And with plenty of sky sports

And much needed rest...

The Shark will return

And a strong as before

The lost boys back together

Re-united once more.

So keep fighting Sharky

And get better soon

I'd go easy on the buckets

And cut out the half moons.

There's beers waiting for you

In South American pubs

There's sunshine and barbeque's

And four manly hugs!!

Now if that ain't incentive enough

To carry you through

Menago's been working out everyday

Thinking bout you.

He still wakes in the night

Screaming your name

Longing for the night

That your spooning again!!

Anyway on with the Blog

And what's going on?

Well we're still here in Asia

But we haven't got long....

Just one day and counting

Till we hit that airport,

All of us gutted

But the black cat's distraught.

You see Asia's been home now

For 18 weeks long

7 countries, many memories

And thus it's hard to move on!

From the shiney lights and cultured sights

We saw in Hong Kong

To the first night in Thailand

And trip to Pat Pong

Then the 'crazy Canadians'

We met on Samet

Hooka's, Changs, late night swimming

We'll never forget!!!

The a trip on a boat

And a 3 hour drive

To wait at Bangkok

For the 5th to arrive.

Menago's 2 weeks in England

Must have been painfull

Home from work in the dark

Not to mention the rainfall!!

And when he finally arrived

He was as white as the dead

With a beaming Argy smile

And a shiney bald head

Got straight on the beer

And down to Pat Pong

A bird on his lap

Wearing just bra and thong.

Welcome to Thailand

Where 1 in 3 girls, a guy

After 2 days of experimenting

It was off to Chiang Mai

For treks with the Dutch

Elephants and rafts

Fred nearly dying

Whilst the other boys laughed

Then it was Laos

Generators and cheap lashes

Irish girls, late night bowling

Not to mention boat crashes!!!

Then shooting those handguns

In Vien- tienne

Then down to Don Det

Then back up again.

Then it was tubing

Rope swings and Lao Lao

Showered and changed

Then back on it somehow!!

Across the bridge to bucket

To drink for a while

Till the music turned off

Then over to smile.

Next was Vietnam,

Dunno where to begin

Worked our way from Ha Noi

Down to Ho Chi Minh.

Motorbikes in Hue

'My Son' in Hoi An

Nothing in Dalat

But what a beach in Nha Trang!

But i think we'd all agree

That Saigon topped it all

A city which deep

In love.....we did fall

The museum about the Yanks

And the Vietnamese

The Cu Chi tunnels, which we crawled through

On our hands and our knee's.

And it weren't just the culture

But the nightlife to

In are week in Saigon

We didn't half neck a few!!

We'd start in 'go to'

Then drink all night long

From 'Apocolypse' to the 'Palace'

To breakfast in Saigon!!!

And of course there was Han...the 'go to' man

And Saigon Athletico

See what i mean...this place was a dream

And thus again it was so hard to go!!!

Next was Cambodia

Where all were so young

The shock of the killing fields

And the S21!!

We'll never forget

The things that were seen

And the terror and sadness

Of the Pol Pot regime.

I guess that's what half

Of travelings about

Time for thinking.........not just drinking

And being a lout!!!

But don't get me wrong

Drinkings vital to

Until you've done a full moon

Well you ain't got a clue!!!

Picture this, 8 thousand people

All on one shore

I mean that's just a guess

There was probably more!!

Painted in U.V

With floescent headbands

Dancing like maniac's

With buckets in hands

Jumping around

Till their whole bodies hurt

Till the morning sun shone

And their legs didn't work.

Twelve of us went out

But staggered home, one by one

One in a makini

Yes 'Ty'that's your son!!

The next week on the islands

Were parties non-stop

With the 'East Barnet' lads

And the Harpenden lot!!

'Thumb master', 'bomb'

And drinking games like that

Shouts of terrets

And 'b**** shut your trap'

The southern islands were amazing

With our army 12 strong

Hit the beach everyday

Then drunk all night long.

Motorbikes in Koh Tao

With our tans on the go,

12 of us... 'young and black

With our 'hats real low'!!

Drinking like Kings

And partying like stars

Hitting half moons

And Castle bars

For two weeks solid

We lived it 'fat cat'

I honestly don't think

It gets better than that.

'Dream boat Darin'

Ben, Tom Daw and Al

You'll live long in the memory,

Still missing you pals

And a massive shout out

To the Harpenden Men

Who one week later

We met up with again...

For drinks in Bangkok

More trips to Pat Pong

Then a coach down to Phi Phi

Where we partied right on.

Steve, Riggy, Paul

Aaron, Andy and Dan

Rapping to Jay Z

And that tune 'sumer jam'!!

We miss you boys loads

And can't wait for next year

For re-union time

Maybe camping and beer!

Next was Malaysia

Country number six,

Time for some detox,

And to chill for a bit...

Four of the lost boys

And honoury member Claire

Laying on the Pernthians

Without trouble or care

The sun beaming down

On the crystal clear water

Ever had days like that?

Well trust me...you oughta!

I wouldn't say it was lovely

Or not just very nice

The appropriate word

Would have to be paradise!

Malaysia was brilliant

With so much to do

Treking, sight-seeing

And a movie or two.

There was the local cuisine

Of 'chicken and rice'

To KFC, Burger King

And Pizza Hut..nice

Our three weeks in Malaysia

Just flew right by

Next was Singapore

And prices were high!

We were searching for hours

For somewhere to stay

Average....15 quid a night

Which we weren't gonna pay

So we found us a room

That all five could share

Four smelly lost boys

And poor little Claire

But all ended well

And was plenty to do

With a million shopping malls

Man-made beach and a zoo!

There was late night Safari's

Trams and torch light

There was down 'the arena'

Live band, ladies night!

And now in 24 hours

And a flight later on

We'll be in the land of Oz

5 naive little 'Poms'

So i gues this is goodbye

And South East Asia done

I hope you've enjoyed

And thanks everyone!

From the Bettorney's, Bernice's

And Janice's alike

To the Parkinson's, Cherry,

And of course Carly Pike

To the Dalmonego's, Curtis's,

Fairbrothers and Brown's

To the might Dally Rovers

Repping Northampton Town!

To all the Pereira's

Sheena's and Ty's

And to all other entires

Mucho gracias guys!!

Sharky get well

And get back out here quick

And i hope you'll all join us

On part two of the trip'!

Goodbye for now, from Dan B and the lost boys x