Como estas amigos? As you can see Messner has ensconced himself within local customs and traditions and started learning a bit of the lingo. There is probably something gramatically incorrect re the opening but all levels of pedantic ripostes should be kept under lock and key. Please. With sugar on. Well when I say that customs and traditions have been embraced you may be conjuring up images in the old minds eye of Messner retracing steps taken by ancient civilaisation within the foothills fo the Andes. Seeking tribesman who can show me the ways of medieval warfare used against the Spanish conquesters. Reading of mathematical, scientific and artistic developments in secret civilisations with no computational aids. The use of intricate crafts to make the most out of rare silks and spices grown high on high mountian passes. Mmmmmm...... well if I list the general activities over the last month you make your own mind up: * Kick abouts in parks * Lather * Passing out * Ten pin bowling (twice) * Rock climbing * Paintballing * Golf * Go Karting (twice) * 2 Football matches * Lather * Wine tasting * Karaoke * All you can eats * The zoo * Sending home of trekking gear and repalcing with shirts and pin stripe trousers...... As you can see I couldn't do any of this stuff at home and am really taking adavantage of my time away here. To be honest I think the real South America fun will begin in Bolivia, but have Rio de Janeiro to contend with first, which everyone has said is a game of chess, ovaltine and early to bed kind of place........ When I say Argentina has been one big party - I don't mean party poppers, congas and cherades (although we did play cherades one night come to think of it) - I mean it has been living the nocturnal life of a badger for about a month. My beautiful tan has disappeared, my eyes hurt in any kind of light and I have taken to running on all fours calling everybody precioussssss. It has however been what can only be descibed as fun. Mendoza is a lovely place and we had 7 great days there. Cordoba not as good - we only went on hearing legend of a 7 women to every 1 man ratio. Oh my ealaborate lie spread by the Cordoba tourism Development Agency. Buenos Ares may be the greatest city on Earth. It nevers sleeps, the people are aesthetically pleasing, it is cheap as chips and as long as you don't mention the war the people presume you are American and don't try to kill you. So what anecdotes this time old boy......... mmmm let's have athink...... ah yes....... * CAN YOU SMELL SOMETHING - Messner lies down in a Santiago park on a sunny day and relaxes. Smelling a non too pleasant aroma he seeks the source. It is not long beofre he discovers it is the dog sh1t he has put his head in. * DEDICATION - Noris McWhitrter's replacement from Guiness is flown over as Messner sets a new world record of passing out fully clothed including shoes on 5 consecutive nights. * MASS GRAVE - Rob and Si look on in disbelief as a Serbian lad, with a look of the Slobodan Milosevic's, does a way too convincing impression of shooting someone with a silenced gun in our hostel. Oh my see you in the Hague my friend. * THE ARM - Rob sights 'The arm'. A man with one arm. But what an arm! - it was the size of the 2 legs tied together and the hand was the size of somebody's head. We are going back to Santiago to capture him and give the spoils to medical science. * TAKING ONE FOR THE TEAM - Really roughing it - went to a lingerie cat walk show last week and spent the night drinking champagne and eating sushi. I do this so you guys don't have to - thank me later * EGO STROKING - Our new friend Miles, Rob and I have been sighted late at night, on more than one occassion, huddled closely near dancefloors at 7am telling each other exactly excellent we all are. "Can I just say that you are a very nice guy",Oh thanks - but that shirt your were wearing is very smart","Is that a new fragrance you are wearing", "You really are looking fresh this evening". Ego stroking L,R and C under the influence of alcohol has become the norm. PMA And finally the travelling group swells by another person. Enticed in by exciting tales told on these pages (now seen first hand to be lies) and with nowt better to do Miss Rosina 'Rodney' Merrett of Enfield, me owd mukka from work comes to join the banter express. She is worried about hanging around with two Northerners and tries to give grammatical lessons to us both - but we refuse to take elocution lessons freom someone who thinks girl is spelled 'G-A-W'. Love to you all and see thee in Rio Messner x