3 Mountains, A Fiord and A Chocolate Factory

So we left Perth and headed over to Melbourne on what was quite simply the greatest plane journey imaginable, Virgin Australia, take a bow. Why are you heading to Melbourne I hear you ask? Well, we've started our return journey home; this voyage includes a whistle stop tour of New Zealand and China then back to 'Blighty' just in time for Christmas.

"Haere Mai" Welcome to New Zealand, a country adorned with quite frankly the greatest landscape on Earth. Mountains, Glaciers, Geysers, Volcanoes, Rainforests, the list goes on, it's no wonder it was used as the location for the 'Lord of The Rings' trilogy. For those that aren't aware the country is split into two islands, North Island and South Island, it is roughly the same size as Britain, except it's longer and thinner. It has a tiny population of 5 million people and it's officially the 'sheep shagging' capital of the world with 10 sheep to every 1 person. So, without further ado, it's now on to what we've been doing in NZ thus far.

After having flown for 6 hours, we somehow landed in Christchurch (South Island) 15 hours after we took off from Perth!!??!! Time travelling aside we had hardly any problems with the flights and things, apart from Mel forgetting to declare her Didgeridoo to customs, and her bag being searched and X-rayed for 'swag'. Who knew you had to declare Aboriginal Instruments when crossing international borders???

Finally we got out of the airport and we used something that has been illusive to us of late........coats!! Christchurch is currently in spring but it was very 'fresh' when compared to the lovely 30 degrees we were having in Perth. Having found somewhere to lay of head for the night we started to get very excited about of New Zealand adventure.

The following morning we found our way to the campervan depot and picked up 'Pathseeker'. You may remember the previous camper we had called 'Laika Virgin'. Well Pathseeker is twice the size, has a built in sink and cooker, she even has a shower and a toilet. Yeah, this time we thought we'd go camping in style, all the mod-cons, no more building our bed every night out of the back of a pokey little Toyota Hi-ace every night. This baby's a kitted out Transit, room enough to swing a cat, if you're into that sort of thing; it even has a microwave and a fridge freezer. ("Enough about the van, get on with the stuff we've been doing in New Zealand" Mel chirps, quietly sipping a wine by the beautiful lakefront were camped at)

We set off towards Christchurch city centre. As you may know, Christchurch was hit by 2 Earthquakes within 6 months of each other and this has left much of the city centre in ruins. Fear not, the plucky Kiwis are already hard at the rebuilding project and are transforming the city as quick as possible. New Zealand's oldest city however is still quite messy and traffic in and out was quite hard for us to work out. We decided that just a quick lap was enough and we headed for the hills, quite literally. The Christchurch Gondola lifted us all the way to the top of the Port Hills Mountain some 500 meters above the city. The 360° views were stunning. To the West was the sparkling cityscape of Christchurch backed by the Canterbury Plains and the high peaks of the Southern Alps. To the South and East were the dramatic views of Lake Ellesmere and the Lyttelton Harbour formed in a sunken volcanic crater. And looking North was the beaches of Pegasus bay and the Pacific Ocean. This was a perfect place for a spot of lunch and a cup of English breakfast tea.

Now in order for us to see as much of New Zealand in the 18 short days we have, we can't afford to stop in any one place for too long. We are on a truncated timetable that we have devised and everything needs to be done with military precision. Basically that means that no matter how beautiful the place we are in may be, we have to leave after sampling its delights.

Leaving the Gondola and Christchurch behind we set off into an area known as Canterbury. We were headed to Lake Tekapo for the evening to camp beside the breathtaking shore and look out across the mountains. The drive up to Lake Tekapo was great, they're really aren't enough words to describe the scenery in New Zealand, it really does have to be seen to be believed. In the van we have a little box that uses GPS to track where we are and tell us interesting stuff about the area. So far this box has been utterly brilliant. It knows everything and it evens plays music through the radio. Tune after tune we didn't even notice the time pass by. The road towards the town was built right on the lakes bank, almost as if you were driving on top of the water itself. When we got out the van to stretch our legs at a viewing point just above the town the sight was gorgeous, dulux have yet to make a colour for the gleam of the lake, and the snow-capped mountains just beyond made for the stuff of postcards.

Not knowing what time the sun sets in New Zealand during the summer we got dinner and setting up for bedtime out the way, we had learned from our time travelling the east of Oz, that you don't want to get caught short doing stuff like that in the dark. Around half 8 and with the sun not budging we thought we'd go for a little walk up Mt John. Something our little box told us about the Tekapo area was that it is totally free from light pollution and a brilliant place to see the stars. On the summit of Mt John is the Mt John Observatory which sadly is only available to the public through pre-booked tours, which we couldn't get on. Any way we thought we'd take the short 45 minute walk up the mountain to cop a look at said observatory as it looked as though the sun wasn't going down for a while.

It went pitch black halfway up the sodding mountain and because Lake Tekapo is so wonderfully free of light pollution, we couldn't see our hand in front of our face!! Being stubborn we soldiered on and eventually reached the top. The stars were pretty amazing from the top but we didn't stay long as we knew what lay ahead. We took about 1000 pictures on the way down just so the flash would light the way..... 2 Mountains in one day isn't half bad and we're heading up the big one tomorrow.

Tomorrow became today and we set off from Tekapo towards Mt Cook, the highest mountain in New Zealand. Once again the drive was stunning and it's amazing that even though we were driving on the main New Zealand motorway (a normal English road with an occasional passing lane) there was hardly a soul to be seen. Half of the drive was spent driving alongside Lake Pukaki the 2nd largest lake in New Zealand and the country's top salmon spot. About half way up we reached Aoraki (Mt Cook) National Park, boasting the highest Mountains and largest Glaciers in the country. There are 19 peaks over 3000meters high with Mt Cook being 3,754m. Glaciers cover 40% of the park and are still shaping the range to this day. They'll be a whole blog devoted to our Heli-hike over the glaciers but we haven't done it yet, as we're on the wrong side of the range.

Over on this side of the range we decided to do a walk to the Blue Lakes and Tasman Glacier. To get to this part of the park we had to drive about 8km over an unsealed road, thus invalidating all our insurances and rental hire agreements, but who cares, it's not like rules aren't meant to be broken. At around 27km long the Tasman Glacier is the largest in NZ. Obviously the Glacier is retreating and this is leaving a small (7km long) lake in its path. Icebergs can be seen floating in the lake at this time of year but in winter the whole thing freezes and becomes covered in snow. The lake is brand spanking new in geological terms and was only formed in the 70s. The walk towards the viewpoint was a good test of Mel's walking trainers and Declan's normal trainers (we refuse to be sucked into the trap of buying hiking boots and kitting up to blazes like everyone else on the island). Naturally along the way we passed French people, sadly being French. We also passed the trademark Chinese person, seeking shade under a boulder and hating the intense sunlight. These people came in handy at the summit though as they both were equally inept at capturing the scene with a camera.........bloody tourists.

Always on the clock, we had a long drive in front of us to get to our next destination. Being halfway up a mountain and slap bang in the middle of the south island, our next destination was quite frankly, as far south east as we could drive in one go. The mountain roads are very windy (wine-dy not windy) and take a while to travel. Even so and with a duel effort (Mel drove, Declan watched and provided sweets) we made it to a town called Oamuru. Just before we got to Oamura, we quickly stopped off to see some 18th century Maori cave wall paintings that were affectionately adorned with 20th century graffiti.

In Oamaru we managed to just squeeze onto the last few spots available for the Blue Penguin colony attraction. The other spots were taken up by 100s of Chinese people. Seriously they are everywhere, never get stuck behind a tour group or you'll visibly age before the end of the day.

The Penguin Colony offers a unique glimpse into the comings and goings of the world's smallest penguin. Come sundown, (which is now 9:30) the penguins return from a hard day out fishing at sea. With full bellies and in the dark they face a few more tests before bedtime. The first test is the seals which await them in the bay. The second test is the cliff climb. To escape the seals, the little penguins form life rafts of 20-30 individuals and just float on by. They point their white bellies to the sky and appear like seaweed to the daft seals that only look out for the odd penguin. Safety in numbers pays off, while Billy no mates bites the dust. The second test has been slightly eased, and this is where the centre takes over. The centre has built a faux rock slipway for the penguins to climb. It still looks pretty intense though and the crashing waves don't help their cause. At the top of the slip way is all the protected nests surrounded by a big fence to keep all the cats, dogs and possums away. Just in front of the big fence is where we all sat to watch the penguins hop, skip and jump all the way up the rocks and into their nests. Sadly there was no photography allowed, as letting 100 Chinese tourists take photos would give a normal person a headache, let alone scare off the penguins, still we managed a few cheeky shots making sure our flash was off!! Seeing the penguins was a good end to the day and we felt happy knowing that our entry fee has helped take an endangered species of 60 penguins to a healthy colony of 500 with other colonies being formed along the east coast.

The following morning we rose early and set off on another day with some hearty drives. Firstly we travelled south, heading towards Dunedin. Along the way we stopped off at the Moeraki Boulders,which are perfectly spherical boulders dotted along a chunk of the coastline. We also drove all the way to the end of Shag Point for a little bit of you know what........................ Yes, seal spotting!! We were right next to an entire group of seals happily lazing about in the morning sun.

Just before lunchtime we made it to Dunedin, the Edinburgh of the South. We made it right into the centre of the city and somehow got perplexed by 'The Octagon'. A normal Octagon in NZ cities is just an eight sided ring road circling the central cathedral, the one in Dunedin however has two layers. The driver, who shall remain nameless, was not happy with this. Parked up and ready to quickly explore the world's most southerly city we got sidetracked after pottering about the city centre and ended up at Cadbury World!!!!

Cadbury World Dunedin was every bit as magical as the one in Bourneville. The tour guide was very impressed with the fact that she had two Brummies on the tour and referred to us for everything. "Ermmm, excuse me love, we're on the tour, you tell us stuff, not the other way around." The tour nevertheless was great and we got alot of free chocolate along the way. At the very end we headed up 200 stairs into one of the chocolate silos to watch the magic happen. Like with all great chocolate factories, the best chocolate is mixed by waterfall!! (A slight reference to Gene Wilder's Willy Wonka there!) The chocolate drop was 100 meters of absolute chaos and mess, God help the cleanup crew.

After staying in Dunedin 3 hours longer than planned we literally had the drive of our lives to get to where we needed to be. The next drive was across the entire bottom half of New Zealand some 400km!! After a much needed driver change we made it just before sundown which is now 9:00, goddamn NZ and its weird shape/global position. But it would all be worth it though as we had positioned ourselves at the gateway to The Milford Sound.

The drive to the Milford Sound was........well.............

Quite simply, the Greatest stretch of road on Earth. Fact. Google it!!

This road is much more than a way to drive from Te Anau to Milford Sound; it's an unforgettable journey into the heart of Fiordland National Park and one of the most scenic experiences you can have on four wheels. The dude that wrote the Jungle Book and some other famous author have tried to describe it, and it is often called the 8th Wonder of the World. See it for yourself because we're lost for words.

Down in the 'Sound' which is some geological term for - a lake with access to the ocean, surrounded by glacial mountains, we embarked upon a cruise. I know what you're thinking and yes it did include buffet lunch, and yes Declan did go up for thirds. After lunch we settled into the cruise and once again we were stunned by the scenery. We went on a good Milford day, which means that it rained in the early morning and stopped. All this rain meant that the Fiord was teaming with waterfalls. To say there was a hundred (not piddily ones) fully formed waterfalls gushing down the mountain sides, would be an understatement. Along the side of the mountains are rainforest trees and ferns which cling to the rock face in only 2cm of soil. Every so often there are tree avalanches and we were lucky enough to spot one. The Fiord is teaming with animals from mountain goats and seals to kiwi birds and frogs. All around there was something to look at. To make things even better the ship drove straight under a waterfall, drenching all those unlucky souls left out on deck. Yep you guessed it; we were two of those peeps being soaked by a waterfall. If you want to know exactly which waterfall we were being drenched by you can peruse it in the Wolverine: Origins film, its roughly 43 minutes in and Hugh Jackman jumps off the top of it buck ass nude!! If the cruise wasn't enough we had a stop off at an underwater observatory right in the heart of the Fiord. The discovery centre features a spherical viewing platform 10 meters underwater that allows for views of all the happenings in the undersea world of the Milford Sound. It has very thick windows stopping the water from breaking through, Melanie can attest for this as she doesn't understand refraction, and headed butted a pane as soon as we got down there.

After all the fun in the 'Sound' we got to drive all the way out again as there is only 1 way in/out. The drive back was totally different and yet just as good. Without a doubt we recommended it.

All in all we've had an intense few days so far and we've no sign of letting up, we are thought still finding time to relax by the occasional lake with a nice cold beer and a glass of plonk. Stay tuned for more as we have plenty planned.

And remember you Stay classy San Diego.