Hungover and not sure if i want to wee or be sick I venture to Rome to the toilets in Terminal 21, Bangkok. I sit down on the toilet, head in hands when I realise the sign in front of me that details how to use the toilet - stupid me I thought by the age of 25 i was aware of how to use a toilet - i couldnt have been more wrong! I looked to my right and there was a control panel. Being the stupidly inquisitive person I am I had to press a button. The next thing I know I flew accross the otherside of the toilet stall, if that is even possible in the ridiculously small space that is a toilet cubicle. In fits of giggles I rationalise what just happened. Yes i just got a squirt of water straight up my bum! I sit back down and resume playing with the buttons the next button releases warm scented air I assume to dry my now wet backside. There are further buttons to adjust the tempeture of the air that warms you up. The next button says "birdet" I have no idea what that means as the other buttons had helpful pictures that gave some idea of what was about to happen. So armed with my stupid curiosity I pressed it. Another flying episode and a new wave of giggles later, a warm jet of water had now fired somewhere else (i will leave where to your imagination). Still in fits of giggles I tried to compose myself, flush the toilet and leave but with all those buttons i couldnt find the flush. I left the toilet without getting rid of my business, the lady after me came back out and glared at me, I guess flushing the toilet is a custom that is meant to be observed in Thailand. Still struggling to catch my breath Lauren took one look at me and asked what I had been doing. I tried to explain what had just happened as we stood in a queue for a starbucks coffee but still couldnt get my words out.

The shopping trip continued and I insisted on visiting the toilet on every floor as each was uniquely like the country of that level also i wanted to play with the buttons. I found out that you could heat the toilet seat to a certain temperture and I even found the flush button. I am convinced that if anyone was following me that day they would think I had serious issues but with the clothes costing sometimes in excess of 10,000 baht the toilets seemed like a good experience that wouldnt cost me the world.