Ahhhhhhhh, nothing beats sitting down in a nice little cafe, with the sun shining outside, watching the world go by, as you sip a fresh sweet banana lassi...and every 15 minutes you hear a crowd of men chanting their love for god as they carry their newly deceased family members' dead body right past you on the way to set fire to it on the nearby riverbank.

This is Varanasi.



Burning Ghats.

Varanasi is one of, if not the most holiest cities in India. It is said those that die here and get cremated on the banks of the River Ganges are rewarded by breaking the life-death cycle and go on to live in eternal peace, or something like that. Even people that don't actually die in the city get transported here if they can get here within 12 hours (would sleeping next to a corpse on an overnight train journey to varanasi be a highlight of the trip?). The processions to the cremations are anything but inconspicuous. The body's are wrapped in bright orange shrouds, attached to a bamboo stretcher then carried through the maze of tiny backstreets by the men of the deceased family. No women are allowed because apparently they make too much noise and cry. This happens every 10 to 15 minutes on the streets, which makes Varanasi one of the most surreal places we have ever visited. The bodies get taken down to the 'burning ghat'( a ghat is a set of steps that lead into the river), an area dedicated to this practice. They are 'washed' in the sewage laden River Ganges, left to dry out for 30 minutes and then thrown onto a pile of logs before being set on fire, all out in the open.

Fortunately/unfortunately Our guesthouse/flea pit was 50 yards from the burning ghat and on the roof top was wave after wave of thick smoke. Fascinating at first, but the smell soon starts to linger in your nostrils and on your freshly washed clothes. And it most definitely isnt pleasant when your eating your breakfast and all you can smell (and taste) is smoky dead Indian people.

Spiritual stuff

With death comes life. And it is the same in Varanasi. As well as the death and funeral fun and games, lots of Hindus head to Varanasi on a pilgrimage to the god Sheva. We managed to time our visit to coincide with a festival dedicated to Shiva (we don't know the name - there are a few throughout the year) so there were even more pilgrims than usual. The pilgrims travel from all over India, to bathe in the filthy waters of the River Ganges. They bathe about 50 yards away from where people are burning dead bodies in the same water. Some of them actually drink the dark browny grey coloured water. Once 'clean' the pilgrims gather some of this sludgy water in a little cup and queue to take it to the temple and offer it to Shiva. Because that's what a god would want isn't it? Cholera.

Another event in the city is at the main ghat every night of the year. People from all over the world come to see this spiritual show. You have to get there early to ensure that you will be able to see it take place. We arrived in good time and once we'd told about 100 scam artists/touts that we wouldn't be purchasing anything from them the show began. The nightly event consists of five priests stood on small platforms in front of hundreds of pilgrims and worshippers as well as lots of camera touting tourists. From what we saw, the Priests then ring a few little bells for about an hour or so and move their hands around a bit. The Hindus all pray and join in, understanding the significance to them. To non Hindus it could either be described as an enlightening wonderful example of Indian spiritual culture or as a group of blokes in robes waving some little bells around. We prefer the latter. We had a guide explaining things to us whilst it was going on but honestly, we just didn't get it.

The Old Town

The city itself is hardwork. Tiny little backstreets make up the old town but there are idiots on motorbikes flying up and down these all day and night literally whacking into you to move you out of the way. This makes the little lanes more death trapish than quaint. Plenty of ill looking cows and goats roam the streets adding to the amount of **** that is also all over the floor. The monkeys however have the best idea, they climb the sides of the buildings to escape the mess of the floor and cause mischief all over, including a 7 hour powercut throughout the city! All the locals can do is chase them off with sticks and slingshots.

We hate saying this next bit but the downside to Varanasi for us, has probably been the local people. Nearly every single person in Varanasi is on the take. Ripping people off with made up prices, commission rackets, simply asking for money, the drivers, the hotel staff, the dodgy shops, the fake guides. Honestly we have never been anywhere like it and it does actually ruin what could be and what should be an enchanting place. For a city so holy it's ironic or perhaps more likely (oooooohhhhh - religious conspiracy) that it's so corrupt.

There was only really one person we liked in Varanasi. One person in a whole city, and we met plenty. A young bloke who ran a small tea shop named Vishnu. Vishnu is a truly genuine person. He offered us tea at no cost and simply offered the chance for a chat over a nice cup of chai. He warned us of several scams and we saw him with our own eyes tell one of the guides on the commission racket to do one. We also know he might read this so - Thanks Vishnu.

Lots of people seem to have different views of Varanasi, some seem to love it and really connect with the holiness and the spiritual side. Others don't. We (especially David who writes the majority of this blog) seem to fall into the latter side of it. We found the burning ghat and constant parades of the dead bodies very interesting and are glad we saw that. As for the rest of the city it seemed like a dirty, polluted, loud, over crowded s***hole with nothing but people trying to rip you off.

We are allowed to dislike some places aren't we?

Things we have learned.
1 We are very lucky to be able to shower in clean water
2 The art of brewing perfect Chai
3 A banana lassi is better with mango in it.

Planes used - 3
Buses used - 18
Trains used - 13 (+1)
Metros/subways used - 27
Cars used - 5
Minivans - 8
Russian Campervans used -1
Horses used - 1
Camels used - 1
Taxis used - 7
Cable cars used - 1
Bicycles used- 1
Tuk tuks/autorickshaw used - 8 (+2)
Scooters used - 3
Elephants used - 0
Ferrys used - 2