I'ts been a while but we've been quite busy doing not a lot! And we've been on an island with not very easy access to the internet.

By the way its Shaun back in the hot seat because Carol isn't feeling so good, so expect a rant here and there and possibly some colourful language.

Last blog we mentioned a bit of island hopping but we changed our plans at the last minute (unlike us) and went to a quieter part of Phuket. We went to Sa Khu (I think) which was a lot more laid back, which meant no more Russian lobsters in thongs or topless ladies on the beach (swings and roundabouts!). We decided to hire a scooter and go exploring which I though was brilliant, I don't think Carol was thrilled about the idea but once I got up to some speed the wind noise cut out any moaning from the back seat. We went to a Gibbon sanctuary and a water fall, the Gibbons were funny but some were in pretty bad shape from there previous owners, one only had one arm and one leg, but seemed quite happy where he was. And the waterfall was technically a waterfall I suppose, but only in the way it was water and it fell a bit, but it wasn't much and it didn't go far. Back to our steed on the open(ish) road, we went all the way round Phuket by Carols (mostly) excellent map reading skills. She's an orienteer don't you know. I bloody do, she told me a thousand times!

Next day we lounged around on the beach, I tried to find a bodyboard to hire because there was some epic 25cm surf. But in the whole town there was one bodyboard. Thats right, one bodyboard!! And it cost 300 Baht for a day! To put that into perspective, our scooter that we hired FOR 24 HOURS, was only 250 baht! I explained to the demon lady that it was already 3 o'clock so only wanted it for a couple of hours at most, but she just shot back '300 BAHT, ONE DAY!' Not happy. And it was a rubbish one anyway.

Things spiced up a bit on our last day when Carol insisted on us both getting a massage. She chose the place and all seemed normal until the first lady shouted around the corner for my massage lady. I was in stunned horror as Jonah Lomu with lipstick came bounding out! She (dubious) had enormous shoulders and huge hands and the deepest voice I've ever heard from a woman (doubtful), deeper even than Laura's! What could I do but lie face down and relax, I tried but couldn't quite loosen my grip on the end of the table. She (looking unlikely now) was very strong and was doing a pretty good job until HE (confirmation) walked round the top of the table, which was close to the wall, and brushed past my knuckles, which were immediately withdrawn. Undercarrage!

Also in this town we picked up another virus on all our memory cards. Brilliant. The last virus took us about 12 hours (no exaggeration) to get rid of and recover the billions of photo's (possible exaggeration) we'd taken on our trip. This one took only about 3 hours to sort but still a massive pain in the arse.

Carol got herself a henna tattoo. I didn't mind but she said she loved it and wanted a real one!! It was of the Deathly Hallows (I fully approved) on her wrist but thankfully she's not getting a real one. It was meant to last 2 weeks but after a couple of days it had already faded.

Off to Singapore to meet Alice and Jim! Hooray!

As soon as we arrived in Singapore I loved it. The airport was massive and super modern, it was quiet, clean and the people were lovely. We met Alice and Jim about an hour after we landed and headed off to Gemma Benns' house, Alice's friend who we were staying with. I'm so grateful we had free accommodation as Singapore is nice at a price. We all went for a drink at Marina Bay Sands, proper posh, and had a beer and cocktails. When I saw the bill I was smooth as silk on the outside (naturally) but shaking opening my wallet. One beer cost 18 dollars. 18 DOLLARS!!! Thats 9 Quid! The view was incredible though so was sort of worth it (actually no it wasn't. 9 Quid!) Afterwards we walked to a normal bar and had another drink. It was nice knowing I was having a reasonably priced drink again, until I got the bill. 8 quid. Your sh***ing me!

Next day we went for another extortionate drink at Raffles hotel. Apparently when you go to Singapore you have to have a Singapore Sling here. I didn't get it. We got free peanuts and were expected to throw all the shells on the floor so the place was full of them, which seemed a bit rubbish to me. And there were Pigeons in there with us, actually in the bar sitting on ledges right above you ready to crap on your head! It was really good fun though, Carol had a Sling and I had a beer, until yet again we got the bill. It worked out at a staggering, heart stopping, tear jerking 11 pounds 40p for a pint!!!! In Vietnam it was 24p for a pint!! Thats 47.5 times more expensive!!! Yeah thats right I worked it out. 47.5!!!!! I was almost sick but just kept thinking free accommodation, free accommodation, free accommodation.

We still love Singapore though, its so clean and so efficient. The underground is lightyears ahead of London's and was actually a pleasure to use, and it didn't stink! Orchard road is unbelievable. Shopping malls so vast and seemingly endless that we couldn't believe it. One went 4 floors underground. We found out that if we went to the right places though we could still eat and drink for a good price. A taxi driver told us that a couple of blokes on holiday decided to do a bit of graffiti and one of them was caught and went to prison for 7 months! No wonder its so clean! He also said that the tube was 5 minutes late once and it made front page news! We like singapore.

Off to Tioman Island! Hooray!

Fisrt was a coach to the border and on to Malaysia. The Building for the border is seriously impressive. We had a couple of hours wait for the ferry so grabbed a bite to eat at a small cafe. The food was great and we enjoyed the bill even more. 4 plates of food and 4 drinks came to 4 quid! So you could feed 12 people with drinks in Malaysia, or have one pint in Singapore! Unbelievable.

Tioman was Perfect. Frist stop was Panuba for a few days. The rooms were nice and had amazing views of the sea, plus the wildlife kept itself in the wild which is just the way I like it. We planned to do a bit of diving while we were there but the snorkeling was so good we felt we didn't have to. We saw Rays, Puffa fish, Box fish, Turtles and even a Black Tip Reef Shark. Food was good and having Alice and Jim there was great, although they did beat us at cards a lot. Especially Jim! There was a jetty that we jumped off which was great fun especially at low tide. We all went for a trek through the jungle to a beach called Monkey Bay. It took about 45 minutes but was incredibly hot and humid. Sweat was dripping from places i didn't know could sweat! Jim looked like he'd been swimming fully clothed! The beach was picturesque but the tide was coming up fast. We had about 5 metres of beach left when a boat went past and swamped us! When we arrived back at Panuba Jim ran passed us all and pretended he had run the whole way, it was the only was he could justify his sweating!

We then went to Salang just up the coast for a few more days where the snorkeling seemed even better. The coral was endless and we saw a couple more turtles. There was a sort of tidal estuary where some seriously big Monitor lizzards lived, and I mean big, one was about 2 metres long and pretty fat too. One day I saw a couple of them eating something furry but couldn't see what it was, so I asked a local and he said they eat the local cats and monkeys!! There was a huge storm one night and our bungalows only had tin roofs so the rain was deafening. Carol said that when she opened the door it looked like a hurricane, I stayed in bed, and when we asked Alice and Jim about it in the morning, they said they must have slept through it! Alice turned 29 While we were here so we got her a cake, it was shipped in all the way from the mainland! It was great but they spelled Alice 'Alite'! Never mind, it still tasted good, we nearly polished off the whole thing!

We've been back to Singapore for a couple of days. This time we had no free accommodation so booked a 16 bed dorm through Agoda. This was my first dorm experience and hopefully my last! The place was clean but some people (a Polish bloke actually) thought it was perfectly acceptable to chat away at full volume til 12.30, go out and come back at about 3, turn the lights on and make as much noise as he liked! So we didn't get much sleep for a couple of days. On our last day thought we had great pleasure in waking up at 7.30, turning on the lights and making loads of noise. Mr Poland didn't seem too impressed. Good! Alice and Jim left us (boo) and we got on a plane to Bali. Hooray.

Now we are going to get a lot of sleep in our lovely cheap room, Carols already a few hours ahead of me so I'm off!

I hope your still awake after that, I promise the next one Will be shorter!

Bye