Jonnie had always wanted to travel to the East but we had never done it.

Apparently it was just a few hours on the train, and because it was where all the locals lived everything would be dirt cheap.........

So after two hours on the train and still in Bangkok a British man sat near us said that this was unusual. We could only get third class which is basically a wooden bench. In fact ours had a nail sticking out and we both managed to rip our trousers on it.

We had bought rather a few too many beers to speed up the journey, and were hammered after three hours.

We were sat in front of some Monks and on one of the stops one of them stopped next to us, smiled and then put his hand on each of our shoulders. I guess a sort of blessing.

That was a good luck for us we said................

Later we were to find out that may have not been the case and that he actually worked for the other side.

So a few hours turned in to five hours.

As we got the taxi to the hotel we looked at just how quiet the town was. All we could see were car repair centres and builders yards.

Had we discovered the unknown gem of the East, or was there a reason why no one bothered going there?

It was now late when we arrived and as we walked in the restaurant next to reception was just full of Hells Angels in all their gear and big beards and tattoos.

As we walked past they all looked not at me but the big sweaty skinhead I was with.....ha-ha I said to Jonnie, you are going to get murdered.

The hotel was ok. We had a quick wander up the street but the place was closed down and deserted. Hmmm, maybe why no one comes here.

We rented bikes the next day to have a really good nosey, but soon realised there was nothing in the town for us, even the bars were more like restaurants.

We went in to what we thought was a park, but after a load of men jumped out with rifles we realised we had gone in to the Military base.

Whoops.

We decided to move on the next day.

Later on we had a few beers then decided to see if the bars from earlier on were any livelier. Jonnie was hammered, I said sod the taxis I will drive and Jonnie could jump on the back.

I can tell you know trying to drive a motorbike, drunk, with a twenty stone bloke on the back who can not keep still is not to be recommended.

We went to one of the bars and found out it was a girly bar.

It had beer so we at least decided to have a beer, but the bloke from the entrance followed us and sat with us.

We were a bit worried we were going to get hassled to buy a girl a drink, but luckily he fell asleep as we got half way through our beers.

We paid and left sharpish.

As we left we wobbled all over the road.

I think I am took drunk I said to Jonnie.

Its a flat tyre you lunatic he shouted at me.

By pure coincidence opposite the girly bar was a bike tyre repair shop and the lad came running over.

Oh what a coincidence after leaving our bike near you we now have a flat tyre and by a miracle of god you fix flat tyres.

How lucky.

I started shouting to Jonnie that the little b****** had conned us and punctured the tyre.

Jonnie told me he agreed but to shut up and have a beer while they fixed it or we would probably end up with more than a flat tyre.

Little s*** I was mumbling as Jonnie dragged me away.

If we get home alive it will be a miracle I said as I slurped on another beer.

If only they sold lemonade as well Jonnie replied sarcastically.

We only got charged two quid for the tyre, so it was not the end of the world.

Next day we decided to catch the bus down to Pattaya and stay there the rest of the trip.

The window of the bus was full of cuddly toys. It was bad enough upstairs, but even worse where the driver was, so how he managed to see I do not know.

Off to Pattaya to party like 1999 …….. ?????