Hostel 3

Penang

may 30-june 2nd

There was a problem with the ferry from Langkawi, so we had to get dropped off at another island and wait for a transfer. I found a can of Tiger beer in my bag, and even though it was warm i decided to drink it. As soon as i got my lips round it, i saw a sign that said that no alcoholic drinks were allowed. So i did my usual and tried to act all nonchalont and innocent...................well, they must have seen me but did not say anything.

On the final leg i went on the top deck, but due to the wind factor, did not realise just how hot the sun was, so when we landed i had a bit of sun stroke.

As always i had based my destination on purely hear say, so i waited for a bus at the station to take me there as it was not too far and the bus only charged 50p. There was a really old man (always a good sign for food) cooking some food over the road, and he seemed quite popular with the locals. I had absolutely no idea what it was, but it tasted very nice.

The bus took ages to come and it had started getting dark. I hate looking for hotels when it gets dark, plus i had no idea where the beach resort started and stopped. The buses driver was very nice and told me where to get off.

So then i had to run the gauntlet with my "i need accomodation" backpack sign. The resort is basically just one long beach road, but they have a night market on the street, so it was packed and i had to keep walking in the road and dodging all the cars.

Some drunk bloke who looked a bit like Omar Shariff, but who had not had a wash for a while, said he had a guest house,and i should come take a look. I had an idea it was going to be a waste of time judging by the look of him, but i needed a comparison to get me started, so i went and had a look.

Well, it made the concentration camp look like the Ritz, but on the way in there was a big iron bar door, and i started to get a bit worried when they locked it behind me before letting me see the room.

All i was thinking was that this was a Malaysian version of the film, Hostel, and that i would end up swinging from some chains in a warehouse with a big fat sweaty pervert licking his lips and rubbing his hands looking up at to me, and that i was not getting out alive.

Well, they must have been looking for something a bit younger and slimmer, as they let me go straight away ha ha.

There was a nice looking one opposite the sea front, but they wanted 25 quid. Because it was half term, everyone had put their prices up. In a moment of madness i went to the Holiday Inn but could see them muttering "time waster" under their breath as i made my, heard a million times excuses for not wanting the executive room with sea view and balcony..................

So with the intrepid, hardened budget backpacker reslolve that i have, i booked in to the nice hotel.

Penang was ok, but nothing special, certainly not the image i had built up in my head. I had imagined it to be on a par with islands like St Lucia, but it was more like Torquay.

I decided to explore the island as it is not so massive. For some reason the cars here are twice the price that they were on Langkawi so the cheapest thing i could find was another Honda moped. Once again the brakes were less than formula 1 quality but worse of all the handlebars were not straight.

Oh well.

The roads here are fantastically beautiful and great for driving on, again there were wild monkeys everywhere, lizards, coastal roads and mountain roads. I had asked for a map of the island before i shot off but it was only when i got lost and really needed it that i realised they had given me the wrong one. So a few hours later i ended up on the other side of the island to where i had actually wanted to go.

Oh well, at least i got a nice tan on my arms and legs. I had to drive through the main town which is called Georgetown, and decided to stop off and have a quick look for accomodation so if i did decided to stay here for a day or two, i would not be wandering around with my backpack when i arrived. Because i had been on the bike so long i had got a bit of sunstroke again but not realised it until after i had necked a pint of Tiger beer.

Not good when you are on a moped. I did a jonnie norman and set off like evel knievel on speed.

On the way back i decided to try and sober up and cool down and treat myself (again) and went for a facial. It was a bit gay, lying there with a face pack and cucumber on my eyes, but it was very nice. Not that i looked any different though, i was just a lot poorer.

I had sobered up so went for a couple of beers, but was not happy about paying UK prices without any extras.

As it is a muslim state, beer is heavily taxed and also is not sold in massive volumes so is more expensive to import, so it is relatively expensive.

A beer will cost as much as your entire meal sometimes. At least in thailand you got to see lots of super fit girls showing a bit of leg, but here they are all muslim, and where all the gear, so you are lucky if you get to see a bit of face.

On the way back i stopped at a burger stall. five minutes of waiting later i checked that he had heard me, as it was taking forever, and then it turned in to that scene at the beginning of "snatch" where he is cooking the sausages and keeps saying "five minutes boss".

The beach resort did nothing for me, so the next day i caught the bus in to the capital city of Georgetown. It was a huge colonial trading city at one point, it is a bit of a crazy place and reminds me a bit of hong kong even though it is nothing like it. You have to see it to understand.

I stayed a couple of days and on my wanders i saw another massage place that did the massage where they stand on you and they hold on to a bar on the ceiling. I am sure i had seen it on james bond or something, and it looked really good, so determined to tick off my to do list of massages, i went inside.............

I had a little chinese woman and she knocked hell out of me. A sort of female yoda who had had a bad day. It was not at all what i expected, and when she stood on me i was ready for crying.

How some one so small could inflict so much pain i do not know, and i had booked the super duper 1 and half hour session just to top it off.

Well i think i am more or less done now on the massage front if nothing else. For some bizarre reason, the bus to the Perhentian islands left at midnight or 5 am. I did not fancy either but opted for the 5am and booked a night in a cheap hostel. But the 5am was not running so it was midnight or wait another day.

The woman at the tour office said that the night time was better as you get to see lots of wild elephants...............

not sure how she worked that one out as i was planning to be asleep. Well i hardly slept at all and i did not see any elephants.

Next installament........................The Perhentian islands and the idiot that fell off the boat with his camera.