"If yous dinnae stoap lookin at ma burd Ah'm gonna git the pure hump - BEAT IT!!"

Howzabout' "You talkin' to me?"

Derek's suggestions for the Camel Caption Competition: "Take Wan Ah Me!!", "Does Mah Heid Look Big In This?", "Dae Ye Think Ah Need Braces?" and "Have Ah Got A Groovy Grin?"

OOOOOOOO - whos all teacher sounding ?- "lets all don our comedy hats" - turning out more like your mother every day. So sit up everyone and send in those entries - the big Buddha has spoken. Lets all raise your glasses to LEANNE for getting a great result - now get to America and give me some peace. And to everyone - education speak is now off the menu - I dont do universities anymore - I wanna now make some dollas.

Excellent photos Jimbo - the Uluru photos look amazing. Nice to see that Easy Everything in St Vincent Street does a nice line in Adobe Photoshop software so that you can mock up some photos of yourself actually doing stuff against all those "picture-postcard" settings (you said it, not us). However, to generate a bit of discussion on the board again, I'd like to invite everyone to participate in Jimbo's Aussie Caption Competition, specifically with 2 photos...please don your comedy hats and post your best captions for: a) the third photo from the end of the Australia album; the one with Jimbo sitting on an actual camel - specifially I'd like to invite imaginative captions for what the camel on the right-hand side of the photo might be saying; and b) a comedy caption for one of the more talked-about photos of late, the Joe Mangle photo. I propose that the competition is judged by Jimbo himself and a prize awarded accordingly.

Hi, there James!Good to hear from you. How on earth are you going to come back to this rain- sodden country after seeing all those wonderful sights!I was pointing out New Zealand on the globe today to the kids in school and they were mighty impressed , asking me to enquire if you were in any of the places where' Lord Of The Rings' was filmed! I only went on to read your message just now and saw that you had! They'll be interested in any photos you may have taken.We have made a wall display of a lot of the photos already sent and have mapping pins all over the world map. One 4th year was well impressed with pics of Hong Kong & Bondi beach. We were reading about snakes today and noticed there were deadly types living in Oz! Hope you didn't come across any! How's the accomodation in N.Z? Is it expensive there or is the cost of living cheaper than here?I expect you've had to buy some warm gear seeing it's winter there! According to Aileen in school, North Island is warmer as her daughter is there at moment. If Hendy is on and is reading this -a big CONGRATULATIONS! from The Bonner Household ( i.e.what's left of it- all away doing their own thing!)Leanne was up in Dunblane Hydro at the second Grad Ball last night and has just returned to sleep it off!!! M.C. has developed 'itchy feet' Surprise! Surprise! and has booked a hol. so that when you return - she'll pick up the travel baton!Dad & I have not made up our minds yet as to where to go this summer. Weather is pish!!so don't want to spend a precious 2 weeks in Donegal drizzle! Waiting to see how weather turns out by mid -July! End of term looming up! Be glad when it finally comes! Been a hard year under our new regime!Keep the messages and pictures coming ! Good interest for all at end of term! Good talking point! Was taking the 'Old Ladies Club ' today in School for Pauline and they were askin where you were! They've all heard about your travels. They wanted on your sight to see your photos. Even the 92 year old was enthralled! One of them hobbled out of class with her walking stick saying ' I fair enjoyed maself this afternoon , hearing all your stories!' You sent an old dear home happy! We had a discussion about the Live 8 concert coming up as we had been talking about Africa as one of them remembered that you had planned to go there before . She's 81! They take a great interest in world affairs more so than the kids themselves! It was like having a class of Granny B's with all their own opinions on things! Well , I'd better get on with the mundane things in life like ironing not that you'll know much about that!Take care! Keep in touch! Dad has just phoned from Heraghty's bar. He went out for a walk when I started writing this message! Either he was jogging rather fast or my typing is diabolically slow- one or other! I've a feeling it was the latter! I'd better go as he now requests a lift but not before I join him for one! Better prospect than the ironing!Let's know how you're fairing with money?? Is everything costing 'lots of dollas!Got postcards, by the way, but no parcel has come yet! Bye for now , mum.

Yes Jaimbo they were really good.

Don't think you can take your camera up, if you do the walk .

It is something else Uluru. To be seen to be belived. That is the best way to do the trip by bus. That was the way we did it.

Glad you are enjoying New Zealand.

Kenneth who is doing World Challenge is off on 26th June to Cape Town and then canoing up the Orange River to Clanswilliams town for 3 weeks and then back to Cape Town for a few days.

Mri Clare good for you booking the holiday. Jimbo giving you itchy feet????????????

I am sure he will show yuou how to operate the walking gear.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I meant in a musical sense Yasmin.

well congratulations hendy- top quality result, but now, like me, ur on the path to the half-life of ur degree. there will now be new tbs graduates out there, with a degree that is fresher than mine- but do they have my worldly experience? hope u got decent prices on ur flights- when do u get to sydney? im flying back there on the 5th of july for 1 day b4 heading onto africa. how long have u got in oz, and are u planning just to do the east coast? i did it in 2-3 weeks- but u really need up to a month- ill give u a call to ask u about it. in queenstown in NZ just now, the south island of NZ is amazingly spectacular- hopefully i get photos up soon. its all completely lord of the rings scenery- was on a trip to a place called milford sound yesterday, an amazing fjord on the south west coast, and on our way we passed a number of areas where they had done filming- the marshes were golom took the hobbits through with the dead people in them and also the bit were aragon (i think) fell off his horse. stopped in these massive open fields, with the mountains in the background and im sure gandalf was about to come trotting in his horse out of the mist! got tickets for a lions game on sat in a place called dunedin on the east coast- so if its on the tv back home then have a look out for me. travelling onto the north island in a week or so b4 getting to fiji on the 1st july. mari clare- nice one with the trip to sri lanka, sounds really good. ive talked to some people who have been to india, and they all say its like another completly different place to visit to anywhere else in the world- its on my to do list! although NZ and oz are really amazing, im strangely missing all the 'problems' that i had to deal with in asia- things are a bit too straightforward and familiar here- like half the streets here are named after places in scotland! cherio for now.

I think you'll find he has.

I dont deny anything in your previous post Mr le Bon. I just dont think you've ever 'Rocked' and you'll have a hard time convincing me you ever have.

I think you'll find, Mr Duncanio, that even though I'm pushing 46 and still have a penchant for sucking in my cheeks, pouting on stage and wearing tight leather and/or shiny trousers, I'll kindly remind you that I'm currently raking in many dolla as the band and I trot around the globe on a massive year-long World Tour; we continue to be pals with Big Crabbit Bob (Geldof) and are playing as part of Liv8 in Rome; we are the recent winners of the prestigious Ivor Novello award and have been given MTV's Lifetime Achievement Award and a Brit award for Oustanding Contribution to Music; and I still get random Glaswegian twenty-somethings screeching at me during gigs cos I am still fit. I've persuaded that wee Arnold Clark to give me back my swish big yacht so that I can recall my Rio days and kick around off the coast of Sri Lanka drinking pink cocktails wearing obscenely expensive silk suits. And to top it all off I'm still married to a supermodel. So get it right up ye...