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Wednesday 9th September - Left Phi Phi at 8am for the long slog to Chiang Mai. Got a ferry to Phuket, then a minibus to airport, then flight to Bangkok, then another flight to Chiang Mai after being slightly delayed, finally rocked up at my place Seven Suns at 9.30pm, Within 10 minutes I had met a fantastic Italian guy called Alessandro, so we stayed up chatting and smoking like chimneys. Next day did some wandering around and I'm staying in the old part of the city where there are loads of little cute side streets full of second hand book stores, craft shops, cafes and massage parlours, so it would have been rude not to partake, so indulged in a facial as its so cheap over here its great! Chiang mai is a wonderfully charming place.
Friday 11th - went on a day trip to train elephants with the mahouts. There were 6 of us and it was a lovely group, Drove 1 hour north of Chiang Mai. The elephant camp was in a really nice peaceful setting amongst rice fields, hills and jungle. First our guide gave us a talk and then we all changed into the mahout uniform, and we wandered around all the elephants making friends with them all by feeding bunches of bananas and sugar cane. The oldest was 60 and the baby was 3. The baby gave us each a special introduction, one by one we stood next to him and he put out his trunk and blew us kisses on our necks. It really tickled. Then we took it in turns to go through all the instructions we had learnt on the elephant. To get up I had to say "Songka" and the elephant raised her right leg which I then stepped onto. I gripped the top of her ear with my right hand and the back of her leg with my left. After saying "Soong", she raises the leg higher, and I hoist myself up onto her back and sit on her neck with my knees behind her ears. To move forward I say "Pai" and kick with both feet (you don't kick hard at all). We were given a stick with a hook on the end which is blunt and they are never hit with them, the hook end is used gently. To turn left the hook is placed by the right ear and given just a small pull to the left, and the right leg gives a small kick and the words "Pe pe pe" are said and she turns. Reverse this to turn right. To stop, the hook is gently placed (never dropped) on top of the head, both legs are squeezed together and I said "How". To go backwards the hook is placed on the forehead with a small pressure pulling back with the words "toi toi". When just walking the stick is placed across the head and we place both hands on top of the head to steady ourselves. To get down I say "Songka", she lifts her right leg, I hold onto ear, stand on leg with my right, swing my left over, and drop down. I needed a helping hand to be hoisted up every time as I was the shortest and they are so huge. We were then all assigned an elephant each and I had the one we had just trained on 'Bingpo'. We then went for a trek through the jungle for about 1 1/2 hours in a line with the mahouts walking beside us on the ground. This is the elephants daily exercise. They eat so much - 200kg of food a day, and they were munching away on everything during the trek, pulling at trees for a snack, and all you could hear was a chorus of "pe pe pe pe" from everyone trying to get their elephants back on track. I was really lucky as Bingpo was so good and happily mooched along, only getting distracted a couple of times. I was laughing my head off at the poor girl in front who had the most stubborn and unruliest pick of the bunch. It was just so amazing to be trekking through the Thailand jungle on these beautiful creatures, and sitting and riding the way the mahouts do on the neck, with the huge ears flapping against my legs amongst breathtaking scenery. Bingpo was such a gorgeous girl - I fell in love with her. We stopped halfway for a break and the mahouts took them off for a snack, then we continued along tougher terrain of rocks and steep hills of mud, but the elephants took it steady, carefully and methodically choosing their footing and balancing their weight, we just held on tighter with our legs. When we got back it was bathtime, so the elephants got into the mud pool, and we got in too and the mud was up to our thighs. The mahout threw buckets of water over Bingpo and I scrubbed her down with a brush all over and she was loving it. I then climbed onto her back so I could get to her head and neck, then when we were done she stood up with me still attached, so when we got out the mahout just got me to swing my legs over the top of her head, she lowered her head for me and I just jumped off. It was the best day, can't believe I was up so close and personal with these amazing animals. What a fabulous job the mahouts have.
Next day I went on a day trip to visit 2 hill tribe villages - which was total bulls*** as we were there for 10 minutes and all they wanted to do was flog us their handmade stuff. They have their own 'unique' language and do not read or write anything - just use verbal communication. Interesting how they learn enough English to say "you look at this, you buy, you buy yes?". No. Then went for an elephant ride which was completely different to yesterday, we were sat on a chair thing on the back, then last stop was bamboo rafting. This was hilarious as muggins here didn't think to bring a change of clothes, so we got onto the bamboo raft where a Thai guy acted like a punter, and we had to sit down, so our backsides were instantly soaked in the water, and we went through some small rapids, then the heavens opened and it absolutely poured down with rain. I was soaked through to the skin and I started laughing my head off as I could not physically get any wetter, and I was actually really enjoying it, although wasn't the best ride back sitting in soaking wet clothes. At least I bought a towel to wrap up in. Alessandro had come back from his 3 day trek so we hit the Saturday night market together. We also went to the Sunday market which is HUGE - spans so many streets, and we were there for 2 hours and didn't see all of it.
Monday - me and Alessandro went to BaanThai Cookery School. There were 9 of us altogether - lovely group of people. Started off with a trip to the market where we were shown the different fruits and vegetables, then we went back and chose what we were going to cook. We were put into smaller groups of whoever was cooking the same thing, so each group had a teacher and we prepared everything from scratch. I cooked cashew nut with chicken, spring rolls, chicken in coconut milk soup, green curry with chicken with hand made green curry paste (note the obsession with chicken), and for dessert water chestnuts in coconut milk. It was all bloody GORGEOUS!!!!! We all sat on cushions on the floor round a big table, and we all tried each others dishes. The staff were also lovely with great senses of humour. We had so much fun, we couldn't stop laughing and this is obviously what they mean by cooking being fun! We were all lying around dying from being so stuffed after eating 5 courses, then we all got a coloured cook book each of all the recipes. Everyone raves about doing a cooking class in Chiang Mai and I can see why. Its a great laugh and the food is superb, especially being made all from scratch.
Tuesday 15th September - Alessandro and I rented a motorbike to go to the town of Pai up north, so we filled it with petrol and off we went on a 4 hour journey of 135km up winding roads through the mountains. It was all going really well until we were 15km out of Pai and we got a flat tyre. We stopped and flagged down a vehicle with 2 Thai guys in, and they gave me a lift into town. They didn't speak English but understood I needed to get into town. They dropped me off and I went to a tourist office and told a guy my problem, so he got his mate with a taxi to take me to a garage and buy a spare tyre, go and get a jack from his house, then we went off to find Ale. He wasn't there, so I was silently cursing him as I had said I would be back. So we turned round and headed back to town and there he was by the side of the road by a cafe. We stopped and he told me he had been picked up and taken to a garage to get the tyre changed, then he went into town and realised he had no idea of where I would be, and we didn't even have each others phone numbers, so he came to the cafe a few km outside town and stood outside waiting to see if I passed. I sent the taxi away and told Ale I could kill him and he so owed me a beer for making me run around like a blue arsed fly, so we went in the cafe which had stunning views over the mountains, and we had a couple of beers. We then headed into town, found somewhere to crash before heading out for dinner and a wander. Pai is a really cute, small, laidback town with the hippy trail scene still alive and kicking, and lots of expats, and tons of dreadlocks floating around.
Next day we got on the bike and drove about 8km out of town to some hot springs. They were so nice, in a gorgeous setting, so we got into the series of pools which were the temperature of hot bath water, and had a good soak for a while, but we couldn't stay in there too long without feeling like passing out, so went back to Pai taking the scenic back way through the tiny villages through the hills, passing elephants as they wandered down the roads. I decided to go for a wonderful oil massage (I'm trying every method of massage I can). Very chilled out here.
Thursday 17th September - we were going to visit the Longneck hill tribe today but it was raining and we didn't want to make the journey through the hills in this weather, so decided to go and get breakfast and make a plan of action, so we had been on the bike for about 2 minutes through town when I heard Ale shouting at a car to stop. I looked and saw that there was a car coming out of a left hand junction right by us. Ale tried to swerve around it, and its amazing how things happen in slow motion and you have a million thoughts running through your head - when in reality it all happens in a split second. I saw the front of the bike had cleared the car so I thought we would make it, and I thought the car would actually stop. No. The car hit the back of the bike where I was. It happened slowly but so fast as well, its a blur yet so clear. We were hurtled through the air onto the road where we skidded to a stop in the middle. I remember looking at my arms to make sure my skin hadn't been shredded off into ribbons, then the pain hit me like a 10 ton truck. My legs were on fire and I couldn't breathe properly. I sat up clutching my legs which I thought must be broken they were so painful. I remember looking back and seeing the car which was like a big truck - the driver was a Policeman by the way!!! I saw the bike on its side, then in front of me was Ale lying on his back with his helmet lying a few feet away from him as it had come flying off. He was gripping his hip in pain and cursing the driver in Italian and shouting at him "Why didn't you stop? Why didn't you stop????" I heard people coming over and asking if we were okay but I couldn't speak. I had pins and needles all over my entire body, my arms were rigid and my fists were clenched, and I could not open them or move them at all, my head and face were covered in pins and needles too. As the driver was a Policeman (who accepted full 100% blame), the Tourist Police were on the scene immediately, spraying white stuff around the bike like they do around dead bodies. I then heard the ambulance sirens. I still couldn't breathe properly and I was so pleased to hear the sirens as I knew I could never stand up and move to the path by myself, it was never going to happen. I was shaking like a geriatric, and I couldn't focus on anything clearly, the pain was too excruciating. I heard Ale calling my name over and over, but I couldn't answer or even lift my head at this point. I heard him screaming at the driver "Look at her foot, look what you've done to her!" He was furious beyond words. It was then that I saw my right foot was drenched in blood and caked in dirt and mud. The blood was collecting in a pool on the road, and I looked away not being able to even think about where it was coming from. At this point I didn't care, I just didn't want to acknowledge that it was even my foot, I was too busy trying to stop myself from passing out or vomiting. The world was spinning and I felt so sick. The paramedics were saying "Miss, Miss, where does it hurt?" I could not respond in any way, and I heard Ale tell them he was fine but they needed to get me to hospital. I just wanted someone to take over as I couldn't deal with it myself, and they saw I had gone into shock, so they put me on a stretcher and loaded me into the ambulance. All the voices became a blur and I just lay on the stretcher staring at the ambulance ceiling thinking 'I can't believe this is happening to me'. Got to the hospital and I was taken to A&E. I was glad to be staring at the ceiling as I didn't want to know or see what was going on around me, I just wanted to pass out and wake up again when it was all over. They hooked me up to a monitoring machine taking my blood pressure on one arm, and a monitor was put on my finger on the other hand. My left leg was on fire but wasn't broken, just badly battered and bruised, so they put a cold compress on and cleaned and dressed the wound on my right foot. I wasn't 'boo-hoo' crying, but silent hot tears were running out of my eyes. One of the nurses came over and wafted a cottonwool ball with strong smelling stuff in front of my nose. I had felt myself slipping and knew my eyes must have been rolling in the back of my head by this point, so she kept doing this until I became fully conscious again. Ale then came in as the Tourist Police brought him in, and he was giving them my details for the paperwork. He asked me my family name and I had to spell it, and that was such hard work finding my powers of speech. He stayed with me until they took him away to clean up his wounds, then he was taken to the station to give a statement. I was patched up and given pain relief. I'm covered in cuts and bruises, and my right arse cheek is so grazed and bruised I can not sit properly and have to rest my weight on my left side instead when sitting. We are both so lucky. The little Thai tourist Policeman picked me up and took me to the station. He was lovely, making sure I had everything I needed and helping me walk. Me and Ale gave statements and all the paperwork was filled in. The Policeman driver was really apologetic to Ale (I didn't get an apology though!), and he gave Ale money for the bike to be fixed. A Spanish guy was at the station reporting a theft, and he had been in the drivers car to sort some paperwork out, and he told me and Ale that he had 2 large crates of beer in the car. So we get hit by a Policeman who has a stash of beer in his car. Nice one. The Police took us back to the hotel and we managed to laugh and make a joke out of it, and we said its a trip neither of us will ever forget, and we were both walking like 90 year olds.
Next day I got the bus back to Chiang Mai. Alessandro rode the bike back as they couldn't fit it on the bus. I told him he was crazy but he said it was fine, and he got back in one piece. I went to the hospital to get my dressing changed, and the nurse called the doctor over who said it had a nasty infection. The wound is right smack bang in the middle of my ankle bone on my right foot, and I had half of the road tarmac stuck in there apparantly, and the whole foot was red and swollen from infection. The nurse put a local anaesthetic gel in it which made me almost hit the roof, then with tweezers she cleaned out all the dirt, muck and tarmac, then with a blade she cut away the dead and crappy skin left (and yes I could still feel her cutting away. Not nice). She then dressed it and I was sent away on painkillers, antiobiotics and anti-swelling tablets. They had to wheel me out in a wheelchair as I could not weight bare, and then I got a tuktuk back. Ale went for a check up and xrays, and he's slipped a disc in his back from it, so great news all round!!! He said he remembers looking at me at the accident scene and not seeing a mark on me, and I was just sat up grimacing with pain but not making a sound, not a single peep so he thought I was okay, then he looked closely and saw my blood soaked foot and the fact I was shaking like a leaf and though "Oh s***". We're okay though considering.
Well Ladies and Gents, I have been tearing my hair out this past week as I have been unable to go anywhere or do anything due to being a cripple. I've been making my daily visits to the hospital to get my wound cleaned and dressing changed, and the nurses are so lovely, they greet me with a big smile and a "How ARE youuuuu?" I have not been able to walk very far around town as I'm okay for a while then get really stiff and my left leg is an extremely impressive mass of yellow swelling. Its even got the bar marks from the front of the car up the side of my shin. The car did hit ME, so not surprising. Anyway, just been chilling and not really doing much, wandering around town then relaxing with a book, but I'm so BORED!!!! Ale is doing massage classes, learning Thai massage, so I have to wait for him to come back in the evening for conversation and company, and I say I've had another day climbing the walls in frustration.
I forgot to say that when we went to the night market last weekend, it was so random as the place was heaving with people and noise and chatter, then the National Anthem came on. Now the Thais take their Royal family extremely seriously, and everyone just stopped dead in their tracks and waited out the tune. Ale stopped me as I didn't realise what was going on, and we both stood there desparately trying not to laugh at the sheer randomness of it all. WHY would you play the National Anthem in the middle of a market??? Once it finished everyone just carried on and the noise started up again straight away as if nothing had happened. They have pictures of the Royal family everywhere, on sides of buildings, in all the buses and taxis - EVERYWHERE!!!! Another thing is we have been really lucky with the weather considering its wet season, its hardly rained at all and when it does it lasts about 2 minutes then stops. So we were in the market and I felt one big drop of rain on my arm, and you could hear the crowd go "oooooh" and the rain just started to pelt, and I have never seen people move with such speed in my life. They are so obviously used to it, but they were so adept, all the plastic sheeting and umbrellas came out, everything was covered up in 30 seconds flat, then after 2 minutes of rain it stopped and so all the covers were removed and life went on as normal. I was crying with laughter at the speed of these people - I was so impressed.
Had to extend my visa, so made a very tiresome journey in a minibus for 4 hours to the Thailand /Burmese border, checked out of Thailand, crossed the bridge where kids ran up to me whinging "1 baht, 1 baht". I barked at them 'NO", and they ran off straight away. My patience had worn very thin. Pain does not suit me - I get very narky. So at the Burmese office I had to pay 500 baht, pose for mugshot photos (where I looked like I was going to murder somebody), get a stamp, then go back across the bridge and back through Thailand for a further 15 day visa extension, then after that (which took all of ooooh, lets say 20 minutes), had another thrilling 4 hour bus journey back. At least I had a nice Aussie man and Danish man to chat to, they were actually really interesting and passed some time, but god it was hard getting comfy on a bus for 8 hours when your arse cheek is as bruised as a sado-masachists!!
Thursday 1st October - yesterday I went on a day trip to see the village hill tribes. Had a lovely group and met a great Danish girl who's my age, and we stuck together like glue as you could not stop either of us talking the entire day - I think we stopped for breath only for lunch! We started off at an Orchid farm which was very pretty, then to the Karen tribe which are the Longnecks. They are refugees from Burma, and the women have brass rings around their necks which look like gold, and the maximum number they have is 27 which weigh in at 5kg. They start when they are girls. The story behind it is that the women in Burma were attacked by tigers around the throat, and they had no means of defence, the men had weapons to defend themselves but they had nothing, so they started to wear rings around the neck for protection, now its stuck as tradition. Every few years they have to take the rings off as they get really sore skin, and they keep them off for a couple of weeks and treat the skin with cream, then put the rings back on. We saw photos of the damaged skin, but apparantly the women do not mind wearing them, and its a complete myth that if removed their necks will collapse. They do have stooped shoulders due to the weight though, and they also wear a few around their knees for decoration. The women were placid and didn't try to shove any of their crafts down our throats, just sat patiently and went about their lives, happily posing for photos. They are assisted by the government, and also tourism is a big source of income to them. Suddenly there was a commotion at the top end, and one of the women was battering at the ground with a stick. Our guide told us it was a poisionous snake. They will eat the big cobras after, but this was a small green one. They draped it over a rock, and we went to inspect it lying there with its head smashed in. They have a lot of poisionous snakes around here. After the village we went to a cave, then lunch, then another village. I can't remember the name, but the backdrop was stunning, huge mountains and hills, green fields and flowers, the sound of birds singing away - its a view I would love to see out of my window every day. Here the womens teeth were stained black by chewing betel nuts every day. The German guy in our group asked to try some, so one of the women mixed some up for him and he said it was like eating a cigarette. Delightful. There were a group of young lads out playing and I was walking and chatting to the guy in my group from Peru, and they were shouting out "Hello Superman!!" to him, they were so lovely and cheeky. The older one saw my camera and gestured to me to take a photo, and he pulled the younger 2 to him and gave me a beaming smile for my picture. Adorable kid. Then another woman came out and showed me her baby which I got a photo of. Surprisingly she didn't want anything, she wasn't begging (makes a change), she just wanted to proudly show him off to me. We went to the next hill village which were the Akhu tribe. These are the ones who sell their wears at the weekend markets, those tall pointed hats, jewellery and those god awful wooden frogs (where a wooden stick is run across the wedges of the wooden frogs back to make the frog noise), they do my head in, thats all you hear at the markets, bloody wooden frogs. The guide said we would only stop 5 minutes as these people harrass you like crazy and just try and sell, sell, sell - whereas none of the other villages to do that. As soon as we got there, they all came running out of their huts with their baskets and pounced on us. Me and the Dutch girl said 'No', and they left us alone, but harassed the guys all the way up to the next adjoining village. Its because they know they can flatter the men, but not us women. Me and the Dutch girl were laughing our heads of, grateful that they didn't see dollar signs on our heads as we were not men. The last village was another Karen tribe, but not longnecks. I am fascinated by their villages, their simple way of life, but they have none of that materialistic consumer crap to worry about and stress them, they live off the land and seem so peaceful and content, and they laugh and joke around with us. The guide then showed us a leave which he snapped just below the leaf on the stalk, peeled it back and blew bubbles through it. He passed it around for us to do, and this is how the kids entertain themselves. Beats entertaining themselves by mugging and stabbing people like they do back home!!!
Today I went to the hospital. Its been 2 weeks since the accident, and every day I have been dutifily going to get my wound cleaned and dressing changed, paying for my tuk tuk journeys there and back. The nurse looked at it and said "This wound..does not..look good..I will fetch the doctor". My heart sank, its my last day tomorrow. The doctor came and said its not healing as the wound is covered in dead skin and infection. He diagnosed it as ulcerated and necrotic, and therefore will not heal until the infection is cleaned away. The nurse bought over a surgical kit and syringe full of local anaesthetic, and my heart sank lower as I braced myself for what was to come. I lay back in preparation. Now for you lucky, lucky people who have had the misfortune to have had a local anaesthetic, you will know exactly what I mean when I say it burns like b*****y. This is the 4th I've ever had - and the worst by far. Now for 2 weeks I have been coming in all smiles, laughing and joking away whilst I've had my wound poked and prodded, had that god awful iodine stuck in there making my eyes water, but still I've smiled and not flinched, the whole English reserved "I say, that does sting a trifle, but tally-ho, life goes on, ha ha!!" Well I'm sorry to say that the whole English stiff upper lip went staright out the window today, along with my pride. I have only actually cried once over this, the day after the accident when I first came to this hospital and had all the muck scraped and cut out, then was wheelchaired through the halls due to my incapability to walk. I got back to my guesthouse, stumbled up the stairs, collapsed onto my bed and sobbed wholeheartedly into my pillow for half an hour not caring who heard until my tears dried out. Today was nowhere near as bad, but when the doctor injected that anaesthetic into my ankle, all around my wound, I grabbed the metal side of the bed in such a vice like grip I'm surprised it didn't break. I tried so hard to control myself but ended up panting and moaning like a woman in labour, then I heard a voice shouting "Ow,owowowOOOWWWWW!!!!!!!!" - and realised it was actually me. A huge well of tears sprouted out of my left eye resembling Niagra Falls (its always my left eye, the right seems to remain tearless). The doctor then asked what I felt and I wanted to swipe him round the head and scream "PAIN YOU w***ER!!!!", but I had turned numb by this point, so just squealed "numb". he then proceeded to gather his surgical instruments to desecrate my ankle. I was staring out the window with such misery and glumness, and after 10 minutes he ungloved and walked off to do my paperwork without saying a word. The young male nurse was lefrt to put a dressing on, and gave me an apologetic smile, which I only just managed to return weakly as I took in the sight of a red, bloody pulped up mush of an ankle, then I thanked them for my torture, went to pay another hefty bill, and returned to my waiting tuktuk. I had to meet Alessandro on his lunch break from massage school as we were off to the motorbike insurance company, and I just got there on the appointed time, he took one look at my face which was like thunder and asked what was wrong, I then flew into a 5 minute rant and rave of my ordeal which was filled with such explicit words, so in need of censoring that Mary Whitehouse would have had me hung. I was throwing my arms around wildly, saying how incompetent they are to let me go there EVERY god damn day for 2 weeks - 2 WEEKS!!! - and only now, the day before I leave they decided its not healing. DOH! How did they find it so impossible to look at the wound everyday, see that the top level was just pure ulceration and infection, and not f***ing notice!! I've been forking out for tuktuks every day, they could have noticed this a week ago and it would have been dealt with and now on its way to healing - but NOOOO, oh thats just asking far too much isn't it, blah blah blah, pe pe pe, pa pa pa - you get my point. Ale pulled me in for a hug and told me it was going to be okay. I allowed him to hug me for 2 seconds before pulling away and gesticulating so wildly again at how utterly angry I am, that passers by were staring at me. Alessandro looked at me with half sympathy, half complete bewilderment ( I think he thinks I'm slighlty mentally unhinged), then he bravely attempted to give me a second hug, which I allowed for about 3 seconds whilst my eyes welled up with tears of frustration, before pulling away, sparking up a cigarette, draining it in about 3 drags, throwing it forcefully to the ground in such indignation, before storming off to find a tuk tuk. We got one which took us to the insurance office to claim back the hospital fees. They asked me to speak slowly (I seem to have a habit of talking too fast to all foreigners, which Ale has pointed out to me on several occassions). Anything to do with discussing important matters he leaves to me as I am English and he has only been speaking English for less than a year - but the thing is they ALL understand him better than they do me. Go figure. Anyway, it took an hour, and he was getting really fidgety and arsey as he was hungry (I have never met anyone who eats so much or so often in my entire life, yet theres not an ounce of fat on him. It sickens me. Truly sickens me), and he was mumbling insults in Italian which I would repremand him for, but he carried on anyway, then he stormed outside for a smoke, then came back in and sat huffing and puffing with all the patience of a gnat, and I am the one who sat patiently, politely, and was explaining stuff and smiling, being courteous and the model client, despite my foul mood of 10 minutes earlier. I was told to come back tomorrow to collect my cheque for reimbursement of my medical bills, but Ale was told he couldn't get paid as he was keeping all his original documents to take back to the hospital in Italy, and they would not accept his photocopies, so along came a heated discussion about copies and originals - eventually it was sorted out and he was told he would get paid after more insults were thrown in Italian, but at the end he flashed a smile, said "Ciao", and they all fell over themselves giggling, flashing coy smiles and flicking hair, and suddenly he was the best thing since sliced bread and I was given a haughty look over and barely acknowledged. I stood up in total shock. I was the nice patient one, he was huffy and puffy throwing his toys out the pram in typical Italian male style, but they love him because he has a penis. If I was a man I could be the rudest son of a b**** in the world to them, but as long as I smiled at the end and said "Ciao" they would be eating out of the palm of my hand offering oral favours. As I am a woman I can offer them nothing. They can not flatter me, or show a bit of thigh, promising me the chance of catching one of their 50 different choices of STD's on offer, all for a few extra hundred baht. Its pathetic. It happens everywhere though, if I'm on my own the women are fine, as soon as I'm with him, I become Miss Invisible and he has their sole attention. Honest to God. Pathetic.
Friday 2nd October - last day in ChiangMai. Be quite sad to leave really, got so used to it here. Me and Alessandro have been eating at the local street food stalls for 25 baht a time - which is less than 50p, and the restaurants aimed at tourists charge up to 200 baht, so its always best to eat where the locals eat. The place we go for lunch is a little shop type place in the market, so when we are tucking into padthai, the stall directly opposite is the fish stall, so we get to watch the woman grabbing a live fish, then usually chasing it around the floor as it slips out of her hands, then she proceeds to bash its brains out before gutting it and chopping it up for the customer. Delightful. The food stalls here would be shut down within 30 seconds by Health and Safety back home, they really are quite dodgy, but cheap as chips and good food, and I've had no stomach problems from them, so all is good. The place we eat at night is just a scattering of plastic tables and chairs on the path, and the stall is on the road, but its all cooked fresh, they run to the market to stock up on the meat. I was telling Ale that the only rats I've seen were in Kuala Lumpar in Malaysia. He was gobsmacked I haven't seen any here, then that evening we were walking down the street and he stopped me to point out an enormous rat rummaging in the rubbish bags by the food stalls. No-one bats an eyelid here, and I was so impressed and thinking it was the best thing ever, and Ale is laughing his head off at how much enjoyment I was getting from seeing a rat. Then there was no stopping them, I have seen loads on that street, scampering across the path a couple of feet in front of me - the size of cats. These fat knackers live on a diet of fried chicken and pork - their laughing!!
Also, Thai women spend 90% of their day looking at themselves in the mirror and doing their makeup. Now the thing is, Thai women are NOT good looking. Its a total myth. I have been in this country for 6 weeks and have not seen a single good looking Thai woman - total misconception. They are ROUGH as!!!! I just watch them thinking 'You can do your face all day sweetheart - its not going to get any better!'. For instance, I was sat in the hospital waiting room today and the woman behind the pharmacy counter pulled out her pink mirror and spent the next 10 minutes pouting and posing, patting her hair and puckering up to the mirror. Honestly. Now women in Laos are truly beautiful and stunning and it makes me sick. (Jealous? Moi?) Speaking of the hospital, I said I can not afford to get treatment at Hong Kong unless I sell a kidney, so they set me up with all the cleaning products and dressings so I can do it myself every day until I get home. Armed with a new bill I set off for the Insurance company, and they had the cheques waiting for me and Alessandro, and they paid me in cash for todays treatment. No excesses to pay like my travel insurance which won't cover the bill due to a huge excess, and they paid every penny. I then went to the bank to cash it, and they gave me the money - and a little sweet to go with it. Now thats what I call service!!! I have spent 4500 baht in total for hospital bills and about 2000 baht in tuktuks - which unfortunately I can not claim for. I'm not going to miss the constant "tuktuk, tuktuk" yelled at me. No-one seems to use their legs here. Walking - whats that???? They always ask the same 3 questions too: 1) Where are you going? 2) Where have you come from? 3) Are you married? When I answer No to the last question they ask how old I am and when I say 29, they look so confused as to why I'm not married, as they marry at age 16/17 here. I answer "Because I'm not stupid!" but they don't understand and smile at me with sympathy. They must think I'm a leper or have some hideous disease, thats why no-one wants to marry me. Oh if only they knew.
Friday 2nd October - this evening I said my goodbyes to Alessandro. Was quite sad as have spent the last 3 weeks together and will miss him, especially his putting on Italian songs and then serenading me with them whilst dancing like a ladyboy. Got the overnight bus to Bangkok and met an English girl called Janine who's my age and an English lad called Craig. We were all travelling separately but got talking as the bus was so cold from the aircon, and Craig was doing a Titanic impression and had stuffed his arms so far up his sleeves to try and keep warm, so Janine got us blankets from the driver - they were small enough to blow your nose on, but we grabbed a couple and made do. We got to Bangkok at 6am, and Janine has been living in Thailand for 3 years teaching nursery kids, so she knows places, so took us to a cafe just off Khoa San Road for breakfast, then we wandered around Khoa San Road when it was still early, so nothing was open, just some bars with the dregs from last nights antics that hadn't gone to bed yet, so we decided to do the same, settled into a bar, and us 3 started drinking Chang beer at 8.45am. We decided its because we are all English, therefore its allowed and expected. Us 3 were laughing so much I thought I was going to die. Janine got a bus to the airport, so me and Craig got some lunch, then I got the bus to Bangkok airport and caught my flight to Hong Kong. Ciao Thailand!!!!
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