Thursday 16th July - took a 4 hour bus ride from Singapore through to Melacca in Malaysia. Well I thought Singapore was hot? This is stifling!!!! Im staying in Chinatown which is where all the sights are. Walked the famous 'Jonker Walk', then took a cruise down the river at night where its all lit up. The buildings by the river are so rundown, squallor hovels, places you would expect to see the scene of a drug fuelled murder, and the river stinks of sewage, but its fantastic to see how other people live. It truly fascinates me. None of us would put up with living in such basic squallor - thats how worlds apart our lives are!!

Next day I looked around some historic buildings, but to be honest its just too hot to concentrate on anything. One thing I love about Asia is the food, its got so much flavour and the local delicacies of Nazi Lemak and chicken rice balls are really delicious, and the popular home made baked pineapple tarts are so addictive, and I've developed a real thing for Iced lemon tea as well. This eveving went down Jonkers Walk again as it comes alive at weekends with all the night market stalls lining the streets and everyone is out and about, and there was a huge stage where the locals were getting up singing karaoke. Watching the Chinese sing karaoke is hilarious, so I parked myself at the nearest bar to watch the spectacle and laugh my head off. God love the Chinese for entertaining us! One thing over here I hate is the squat toilets in the hole in the ground. They have pipes to wash yourself with afterwards. Well thank christ for wet wipes and hand sanitizer!! Luxuries of the Western world!

I have done whats been advised over and over again for single female travellers over here, and I have bought myself a cheap silver band to use as a fake wedding ring. This way the Muslim men see me as another mans 'property', and therefore not an easy target as I would otherwise be viewed as, especially being Western. There have been a few occasions where this new 'status' has been used. Ive been approached by men who ask if Im single, to which I flash my ring and say Im married. I also have a back-up story, because when I'm asked where my 'husband' is (it sounds soooo weird when I hear myself saying out loud I have a husband!), anyway, I tell them he is in Australia on business, I'm having a mini break before he shortly joins me and we return to the UK. When asked what my 'hubby' does, I reply he is a lawyer working on an extremely important case. This story has worked wonderfully, they certainly think better than to pursue anything and mess about with me. One thing I have not decided on however is my gorgeously, talented husbands name as no-ones asked, when I say he's a lawyer they tend to back right off so its never come up, but just in case I was thinking maybe Charles? Harry? Hugh??? Not sure yet, will have to work on that one.

Just thinking about how many times I've cried since I've been away and the grand total is 3 times. First time was in NZ when I found out how much money I had spent on all the adrenaline junkie activities and I thought I was screwed for life. Second time was also in NZ when I came flying off the luge and slashed all my elbows, arms and stomach open. Final time was the day after the luge incident when I was in the shower and the shower gel was running into all my open red raw wounds hurting like b*****y, then I cried like a 5 year old girl. I have never cried from being homesick. Don't get me wrong, I miss home and everyone so much, but if I ever did get upset I would just tell myself to bloody well toughen up, look at where I am and what I'm doing!! Luckily though I'm not soft enough to cry, only when I physically hurt myself because I'm a wuss with pain and have absolutely no pain threshold whatsoever. I'm also now covered in mozzie bites as these suckers have super-dooper powers and can bite and munch their way through clothes. How talented is that???? Lucky I have malaria tablets really isn't it, or else I'd be in a coma by now turning into some mozzie possesed zombie!

Next stop was the capital Kuala Lumpar - on the bus I saw wild monkeys clambering down the hillside. Got to my hostel which was in the slums, and run by a Philipino guy who wore a sleeveless black mesh top, looking like he'd stepped out of YMCA. The other guy working there was also Philipino and lovely, kind of like the equivalent of 'Fawlty Towers' Manwell. The thing over here for showers is the shower is in the toilet cubicle, so you have no room to manouvere and the toilet gets soaked, the water is cold water and you have to pay extra for toilet roll too. Its fine though, I actually like roughing it. I was always so big on hygiene and cleanliness, but that all goes out the window when you come travelling, you really can not be squeamish about things or you would go mad. There are also plastic sheets on the bed, so everytime someone moves in the night it sounds like your surrounded by bag ladies going mental with their bags and empty crisp packets. Met a guy called Dan from Chicago, he came back in after going to the market and buying the fruit lychees, he offered me the rest of the bunch to eat and we just got chatting. Lychees are round things the size of grapes, you peel them, they have a stone inside and they are so addictive. They make drinks out of them too. Me and Dan hung out then met another lad called Colin from Milton Keynes, so us 3 spent the whole time in KL together. We went sightseeing to Merdeka Square where the worlds tallest flag pole is with the flag demonstrating Malaysia's day of independence in the 1950's, then saw some really impressive mosques, Chinatown and Little India. We went back to the hostel in the afternoon to die from heat stroke in the lounge area in front of the fan. We then heard a smash and some local guy ran out of the house 2 doors down, then another local guy came out after him tucking the biggest knife I've seen in his back pocket. We were all like 'No waaaayyy!'. We have also seen the police get out of cars with huge guns, something the Terminator would be proud of. You can not walk anywhere without being touted for taxis or food or something. Every 5 seconds you hear "taxi? taxi?". They should make those tacky tourist t-shirts stating on the front - NO I DO NOT WANT A TAXI. At night we went to see the Petrona Twin Towers lit up from the park, and they were so impressive we were all awestruck with our jaws on the floor. They really are spectacular at night. We then went for some cocktails and ended up in a really dodgy bar. Basically, Dan who is 24 works in Bali at the moment with the sex workers about HIV awareness and the use of condoms. He is so used to that scene that he instantly knew we were in a bar full of 'Hostesses'. He pointed stuff out like the 'pimp' sat near us overseeing it all, and we saw women draping themselves over disgusting men, and these men were flashing wads of cash and buying buckets of drink for the girls. Observing the scene made my blood run cold, watching these vile, repulsive and vulgar men using these women in that way, and they then go home to their wives and infect them with diseases. They should be shot. We left and moved on because it was such an ugly scene, not obvious if your not looking for it, but so obvious when you know whats going on. Next day us 3 went to the Batu Caves just out of town, and there is a giant Buddha at the entrance and a steep climb of 280 steps - which is a killer. At the top when your lungs have frozen, there is a sign stating 'No excercise beyond this point'. Who the hell in their right mind is going to want to excercise after almost keeling over from that climb?????? The caves were huge with Buddha statues and a temple inside, along with some random cockerels who would not stop 'cock-a-doo-dool-dooing'. Bizarre. In the afternoon we all got very smartly dressed and went to the Kuala Lumpar Tower, up to the rotating observatory deck and had 'High Tea'. We are so civilised! It was great, the equivalent of £7 to get fantastic views of the city rotating round, along with being waited on with tea and cake. It was chocolate cake - gorgeously tasty (and with a cherry on top). We were loving it as being backpackers it was just such a great thing to do - have 'High Tea'. Later we went out for dinner and drinks again. We eat at the street food stalls as a meal is the equivalent of £1-2, and really good portions and damn tasty. Im loving the fact that I can eat so much chicken here. I didn't eat meat in Australia as it was so expensive, but its so cheap here. The garbage is all strewn down the alleys and the backs of the food stalls, but because its so crowded the food is fresh and I've had no problems so far. There are some huge rats here though, the size of cats, but at least they get a healthy diet over here of chicken, rice and noodles, rather than the western rats who live off Macdonalds and KFC. Kuala Lumpar is a mad city, the traffic is horrendous, and to cross roads you just have to follow the locals. When they cross - you cross. There are tons of motorbikes and the taxi drivers are all completely mental and insane when they drive, everyone drives on their horns, all you hear is BEEP, BEEP constantly, and there is no lane discipline, and pedestrian crossings mean Jack over here. Its crazy!!!!

Colin asked if he can travel with me. He's never been abroad until now, he's 26 and a bit of a novice, so I have taken him under my wing for the next week as he has no clue what he's doing. We got the coach up to the Cameron Highlands which was the bumpiest ride Ive ever had. It took 4 hours and several times we came flying right out of our seats. We are staying at the town called Tanah Rata, and we wandered into town to get some lunch. An English woman called us over to one of the street food stalls as she helps out there and was able to tell us what everything was. She's 72 years old, called Elizabeth and has been travelling for 50 years, she's been all over the world and is a wealth of information. She dished our dinner up which is less than £1 of amzing rice, chicken curry, green beans, sauce and other local stuff. She was telling us her stories and she is an incredible woman. I would love to be like her at her age, she's an inspiration. We went back later for dinner and she always manages to get a crowd of people there, and we got banana and chocolate pancakes cooked for us, and we met 2 English girls called Lyn and Hannah, and some others and we all sat round eating this fantastic cheap food and listening to Liz's advice about places and travel stories. I love people like her, then we gate crashed another guesthouse where everyone was sat outside round a bonfire, and we drank beer and toasted marshmallows before heading back. The girls saw my 'wedding ring' and presumed me and Colin were married, and we were both like "No, we only met 2 days ago", and I explained the whole ring concept which they agreed is a great idea. Its amazing how people presume your 'with' the other person though because their the opposite sex, even without a ring. People presumed it about me and Damian and also me and Will. I guess thats just human nature.

Next day me and Colin went with some others on a half day tour. The tour guide announced himself as Raj Singh, and then said "You can call me Mr Singh". He was so funny, great sense of humour, and we went to the strawberry, bee and butterfly farms. One of the guys there showed us round the insect section and got all the insects out and literally threw them at us to hold. He got 2 poisonous scorpions out and put one in each of my hands. He then said "You English women are very brave". Yep, didn't really have much of a say in the matter, but it was an experience. I didn't move a muscle whilst they were in my hands, in fact I think I may have stopped breathing altogether. We then went on a tour round their most famous tea plantation of BOH teas. I love their teh tarik over here, its 'pulled' tea with sweet condensed milk. We saw the actual planters on the hills planting the tea, and we saw the 4 stages of tea making, then got to sample some peach tea which was delicious. I never used to drink black tea but they don't really use milk here, so in Singapore and Melacca I got used to drinking black tea and its actually really refreshing, and I've also got into Green tea a lot. I love the way they are tea obsessed instead of the Aussies who are coffee obsessed - I really don't do coffee. Its beautiful up here in the Cameron Highlands and so much cooler as we are so high up, its a great relieve from the stifling heat of the city.

Thursday 23rd July - me and Colin got the 6 hour bus ride to Kuala Besut where we then got a speedboat to the Perhentian Island of Kecil. The speedboat ride was fantastic, we were flying and being thrown around everywhere getting soaked - it was great! Then had to clamber in a small water taxi to get to shore and then wade in the shallow to the beach trying not to drop all my bags. Colin was a bit useless, he only had 1 bag weighing 7kg, Ive got my big one weighing 15kg, another smaller rucksack and my shoulder bag. I was struggling to get my bags out the boat and he just stood there like a muppet, so I practically screamed at him to give me a hand - christ sake - show some initiative!!! Nowhere on the Island takes pre-bookings, and we got there at 6pm, and I left Colin with the bags and went on a mission to find a room as he's a total pleb when it comes to stuff like that, and loads of people were walking up and down after being turned away from everywhere as there was no room at the inn. I managed to find somewhere up the hill and in the jungleness, where the owner was a p****with a capital P, but there was only 1 room left so me and Colin had to share. I was beyond caring at this point, beggars can't be choosers, so I took it, and we checked in, got showered and went out for drinks in a bar on the beach. We sank a bottle of vodka between us, and got quite drunk, then stumbled back in the dark, but luckily I'd made Colin bring his torch, and we passed out. Next morning was my birthday, so I sent Colin on a mission to find us somewhere to stay as we were being kicked out of where we were as there was no room. He returned with the news that there were no rooms, but people were checking out so our best bet was to wait around and try and snatch somewhere as soon as it became available. I opened my cards from my family and present from my mum which she had posted over bless her, and they were lovely so that cheered me up to the thought of being homeless. We went to a place called Matahari, and we sat waiting in the basking heat from 10.30-12pm patiently waiting for people to check out. There were tons of people waiting for rooms and nowhere near enough spaces, but we were so lucky to get one. We had to share again, but it had aircon and a hot water shower!! Colin paid for the two nights for me as well as it was my birthday and he wanted to thank me for allowing him to come with me. There is limited electricity on the Island, the generators run for a certain time. Got changed and went to the beach which was a 2 minute walk from our room, and lay in the sunshine. The skies were clear blue, it was scorching hot, and the sea water was pure crystal clear turquoise, the temperature of warm bath water, so we basked in there for hours shrivelling up like prunes. I turned brown again and he was whinging that he hadn't got even a hint of sun. He is Viking blonde, with skin resembling Casper the ghost - pasty is the understatement of the century. Went out for dinner at a really nice beachfront restaurant later and drank Pina Coladas. I laughed and said how random it was that I was spending my birthday on an Island with a guy Id only known for 5 days from Milton Keynes!!! Then went to a bar where you can sit outside on the sand on little roll-out mats with lamps on the table, and there was really funky club music blasting out with light shows over the beach. Next day we went snorkelling. We were on a tiny boat with a German couple, and we went out to the other Island and jumped in to snorkel with a HUGE turtle. Ive never seen a turtle so big, he was munching away on his food in the sea and he was beautiful. It was so cool. My snorkel was a bit busted and water kept flooding in, so I would start to choke after about 10 seconds, and there was no ladder on the boat for me to get back in, so we all had to clamber in - which just did not happen for me. My arms are the most pathetic, useless and pointless part of me, I have no upper body strength so I just could not get in, and again Colin just sat there as useful as an ashtray on a motorbike whilst the German couple hauled me back in. I was really beginning to lose my patience with him at this point. We went to another spot to see coral, and when they dragged me back in the boat I smashed up my bad knee really badly and it was swollen and in a lot of pain, so that put me in a really s***ty mood. Colin started whinging about how he felt sick and I just completely ignored every word he said and didn't respond to anything. They all went in again and I sat it out as could not be arsed to go through the hassle of smashing myself up. The guide apologised to me for not having a ladder on his boat, and he gave me a cigarette, so we sat smoking on the boat and chatting about his life as he comes from a nearby fishing village. We stopped off for lunch at the village he's from, then our last stop was in a stunning blue lagoon, and the boat was pulled into shore. I used a snorkel which worked and went off, and saw the most incredible fish and stunning coral. There were little black and white fish that were swimming in my face trying to kiss me, and fish feeding off the coral, and huge multi-coloured fish, plus there was a jellyfish which apparantly won't hurt you, and the fish were really inquisitive and kept going up to it and then swimming away again. Then went for a swim in the beautiful warm turquoise waters before we headed back. Colin has been throwing up water and now has travellers diarrhoea. 30-50% of people get this in the first 2 weeks of travelling, this is his 1st week away, and he's pissed off that I haven't had it - as I told him the only times Ive suffered in the past 9 months are from hangovers (which is totally true), but I haven't heard the end of his whinging about how ill he is and he might need the hospital, blah blah blah. I told him he needs antibiotics and thats it, he's not going to bloody die. He got the point that I'm not one full of sympathy. Next day we got the speedboat back to the jetty and he was constantly sighing really loudly and saying the journey was awful as he felt so sick. I didnt answer, because any answer from me would be the green light for him to moan about his illness. For christ sake toughen up!! A little bit of diarrhoea is not going to kill you. He's such a total wuss, and its been nice having his company for the past week, but I am sooooo glad that we were going in different directions, I don't think I could have coped any longer with the self pity. After the boat we got a taxi to Kota Bharu airport, and got a flight to Kuala Lumpar. He checked in right after me, but thank christ we weren't sat together!! He then went to Thailand and I got a flight to Vietnam. I know I probably sound like a real hard b**** - but I don't want my travels to be ruined by whinging people. If he was a good friend it would be different, I'd have more sympathy and actually care, but because I've known him for a week and honestly dont actually give a toss, then its much harder. I should try and be more tolerant, but its so difficult for me without having a personality transplant.