Not that there isn't the room for the spectators and the tide is huge covering well over 300 metres across the beach. But the English Channel does not really provide the waves.

Camber Sands in East Sussex was a great day out on Sunday. Pippa, Anouk and I joined Pippa's cousin Nick and his partner Adka and daughter Kitty for a day on the beach. It was a humid 29 and there was not a cloud in the sky over London.

So our 2 cars and the rest of the 7 million inhabitants of London headed for the nearest coast. I.e the south coast along the channel. 2 hours of slow traffic and we covered the 50 miles. Parked the car in front of a pub called the 'Camber Castle' and headed straight in for a refresher. It is not the traditional castle, but more a 1970's brick and tile conversion like the rest of Camber. I don't think this town was on the coastal trek as early in English history as Brighton or Bournemouth.

Eventually we were all in town together and climbed up over the sand hills, hence the town name, to see the long, wide beach. I could not actually see the sea from the top of the dunes because the tide was out. But I gather it was where the little row of black figures was way off over the horizon. I wonder whether I would need to be speaking French given how far across the English Channel I was going to walk to find water.

Though uber crowded it was surprising clean, and I gather the Brits are use to the crowd so are respectful with their ball games, bats, kites, dogs etc. Everyone walked towards the wet sand away from the picnics to play. As it is only about 3 mins walk it is not too inconvenient. Pippa took Anouk down to the water for a splash while the rest of us set up the tent and lunch.

After lunch, sun screen, water and being stared at incessantly by Anouk I agreed to make the trek to the waters edge. As the beach seasons is very short in England, people, I think, do not tend to upgrade there swim wear. Tony Abbott would not be out of place as 'Budgie Smugglers' were all the rage, especially if you had the gut to sag over the front a good 3 inches. Also the men's swimmers that ride up both legs when they are wet causing a ballooning around the nether region are also popular. Package proud roid junkies likes the James Bond (Daniel Craig) look. I actually felt like an expert beach goer in normal board shorts off the rack from K mart, Belconnen.

As for the ladies I was surprised not to see a crochet bikini set, but if you are the size of a small country, the thong is not a pleasant experience for you fellow bathers. I was also disappointed not to see a plastic swimming cap with large yellow daisies on it. Overall the English women seem to have a better idea of what to wear to the beach. Perhaps it is all the trips to Ibiza, Majorca and the Costa Brava in their chavy youth. *Note Chavy is Essex slang for Bogan or Westy

The English Channel is lovely and warm until you are more than knee deep. Then the ice becomes encrusted to the hairs on your legs and swimming in groups would give the appearance of something that could take out the Titanic. Hence I was going to take Anouk for a swim, but settled for a paddle. Lucky the ankle deep water stretches for a few hundred metres out so space was not such an issue.

As the sun does not set until 9:30 and it is not dark until 11 we had a great long day. Pippa and I stopped for an ice cream on the way home then found a spot in the M20 main car park to London for the slow trip home. b***** cooking at this late time, so Dial-a-Curry got a little more of our limited cash.

I doubt I will become a sun tanned surfer living in England, but the beach, aside from the crowd, was great and I enjoyed my day.