Our holiday within a holiday.

We were picked up at around 7.30am by Phat Tyre ventures from our hotel in Dalat in a 4 by 4. We had a really lovely guide named Bo who was training for the first road bike competition ever to be held in Vietnam in March. He told us we were picking up another 2 people and as usual I was doing my silent prayers hoping for someone old or over weight.

Strike! An old couple who appeared to be in there 60's got in the car. Immediately I questioned them about there cycling experience. They said they just did it for fun, so I'm feeling really smug at this point. I will not be the slowest and un fittest on the bike ride today.

As we drove to the starting point of our 70km bike ride Bo was pointing out all the different green houses and what they were growing. Having seen them from up high in the cable car the previous day it was lovely to have a closer look and there was even a sun flower one. Filled to the brim with my favourite flower. I asked Bo how many green houses there were in Dalat. He laughed, at this point I realised it was probably like someone asking me how many strands of hairs there are on my head. It was clear there were thousands. He said that there's no register or count, and he wouldn't like to guess.

After a short drive we pulled up behind a pick up truck, filled with bikes. We got out and were given our equipment. I had the pink helmet as I had chosen in the shop after being measured up, there were 4 medium bikes and one small one. Bo gave the older and im going to say it now FAR taller then me lady the small bike, which I know had been intended for me. This woman didn't even know her helmet for goodness sake. Obviously I immediately had the hump. As i clambered on to this giants bike like Thumbelina trying to mount a horse, Bo's giving us all the instructions on the gears. I'm tip toeing so that I don't bruise my crutch on the bike frame, watching mother Hubbard clear her frame by miles. As my mind was wandering about how I could get MY bike off the old lady I completely missed the instructions and just remembered always brake using mainly the right hand as opposed to the UK this was the back brake. Basically to avoid flying over the handle bars and chipping my front tooth for the 6th time in my life, I had already decided I would just use both brakes continually.

Dalat is 1500 meters above sea level so around 30km of the bike ride was going to be gliding down a brand new stretch of road amongst the clouds, winding around the mountains past waterfalls and incredible views of the mountains beyond. This was the main reason we had chosen to do the bike ride. That and the fact I had done London to Brighton bike ride in the past I thought it may be a sport im better then Chris at, how wrong could I be.

The first 20km was a varying between up and down hill with some spots of flat. As we were so high up it was really cool and with my shades, sports bra and cycling gloves I was feeling quite confident when we got started. That probably lasted about 30 seconds, as I soon realised the gears had no numbers on, and the digital screen was displaying nothing on both sides,I panicked. Out of the 27 gears I had no idea which one I was in, and despite Chris telling me you could tell by looking down between your legs several times I was petrified to take my eyes off the road, with lorries and motorcycles flying past, I don't recon this would even being a road Id ever have driven in my Beetle let alone on a road bike! Speaking of cars, Chris soon became my driving instructor, telling me left gear twice, right gear once and staying behind me the entire time.

As I finally felt comfortable then came a small spot of downhill. Gripping on to the hand brakes so tight my hands had cramp and with both my brakes screeching and me screaming even louder my bike would not get into the highest selection of gears it needed to be in. My driving instructor (Chris) at this point pulled me over and swapped bikes with me. I would love to say that it was at this point the old lady and her husband over took us, but I'm going to be honest, she was steaming ahead from the start. 'Oh we just do it for fun' she said. Yea whatever your probably a star pupil of a spinning class back home you bike stealing granny! After a couple of minutes of being on Chris's bike and him on mine we realised that there had in fact been a problem with my bike. So clearly that's why I couldn't work it. As we reached the others waiting for us at the bottom of a 4km climb we were about to do Chris explained to Bo about the problem with the bike and he swapped with him.

We began the 4km hill, the oldies and there best buddy Bo steamed ahead and I, still on a bike too large with no idea what gear I was in, was fully depending on my driving instructor Chris who we may as well name Christ at this point for putting up with me for help. I'm shouting, it's too hard, he's calmly telling me to switch this gear switch that gear, then I'm shouting it's too easy, he's calmly telling me to switch the other gear. I would say on around 5 occasions during this 4km climb I had to stop. Short breaks, water and ear bashing from Christ the driving instructor, trying to basically explain to me how a bike is made and how the gears work. In the end he gave up trying to explain and was saying right finger, left thumb, left finger, and again. Much easier instructions. He should definitely stick to this teaching method with his next student.
Meanwhile that truck that met us at the beginning with the bikes in had turned into the top gear style rescue truck. The 4 by 4 was ahead of the group with our bags in, and this now sos truck tailed slowly behind the pack with water and a very inviting empty passenger seat in.
As the last 2 of the group and me stopping every 1km of the hill, it was torture having this truck literally on my tail the entire time with a kind cherry man 'telling me get in, don't worry get in'. Whilst I had Chris barking at me, DONT YOU DARE GIVE UP! This 4km hill took about 20 minutes to 30 minutes in total, obviously it should have taken us about 10 minutes. This entire time I had a battle going on in my head, Chris shouting at me with encouragement and the sos truck trying to entice me in. It was like he was on commission if he got me in his truck! I'm proud to say I didn't give up. I got to the top on the green Giants bicycle and had my banana pit stop at the end of the first 20km.

Then began the 30km decent much more fun, with the wind in our hair and a constant flow of downhill flat downhill flat I was able to do my gears un aided. We stopped several times on the way down for view points, despite it being slightly cloudy the views were out of this world and made me remember why we were doing the bike ride in the first place. Grandma was taking her time on the downhill section and rather annoying so Chris and I over took her, had I not had to spend lunch with her at the bottom of the hill I probably would have given her a middle finger as i overtook. We were probably doing a speed of at least 35kmh and the closer to sea level we were getting the hotter you could feel it become. At one point it was like we drove through an imaginary temperature wall, one side being 20 degrees then across the 1 meter border and we were suddenly in 30 degrees. We had about 5km of flat surface cycling through a tiny town before we reached our lunch pit stop. With a numb bum and achy hands the lunch break came at a perfect time.

We stopped for about an hour, made our own little wraps and sandwiches with the ingredients provided then I mainly played with the monkey on sight and the dogs running around. With the heat feeling considerably stronger at sea level now we both put on more sun cream before our final 20km.

Bo told us that this final section was mainly flat surface with some small hills up, and slight down hills throughout.

Bo is a liar.

The last 20km of the bike ride nearly killed me. The hills were far steeper then the initial 4km one in the morning, and yes they were smaller in length, but it was steep hill, and then the so called 'flat' in between we were still at an incline going up, in fact for 15km it was up hill. I was angry. Shouting BO IS A LIAR, I HATE THAT OLD WITCH ON MY BIKE. Then I'd calm down and go really quick, then I'd tire myself out and cry. This repeated. Over and over again. The heat was the worst part of the the last part, I could physically feel it burning my back, I said to Chris through the tears im blistering, and with my tendency to exaggerate, he was like, it's okay your just getting a tan. I was like NO I can feel it im burning and blistering.
With the sos man cracking up at me and my erratic behaviour, crying, shouting, being calm, not taking, stopping. I decided to use the sis water every 3km or so to pour all over myself and then continue. The last 6 km was completely flat, through beautiful countryside, but with the heat it felt like I was in the Sahara dessert, where in the distance all is a blur of lines, I felt like I was in a mirage.
When we finally made it to the finish line, I laid on the floor and poured water all over myself, practically throwing the bike. The men in the cars all laughing at me, I think they were sure I was going to give up, they might have even had a bet between them selves. I was so happy I completed it, and in the end it was actually 73 km, so Bo definitely was a liar! I think I was more happy at how happy Chris was that I had completed it. It was like I was his first student to ever pass there driving test. We climbed into the air conditioned 4 by 4 and made our short journey to Nha Trang city Center.

I think I need a holiday, I said to Chris. After travelling Vietnam for 3 weeks at this point and with the highest temperate before the bike ride that day being a mere 20 degrees throughout the country although we had seen some beautiful sights we had not laid on a beach since Koh Tao, which had actually been about 6 weeks before this. Ok yes I know 'first world problems' not being able to lay on a beach for 6 weeks poor me, but 6 weeks of city hopping in 3 countries only staying in one place for a maximum of 3 nights is actually tiring.

We pulled up outside our hotel. With the beach in sight i done a little hop and skip into the lovely hotel. We checked in and I peeled my clothes off ready for a bath. It was then the true extent of my injuries were clear. I'm going to estimate 3rd degree burns, no burns are the wrong word, my back was scolded from the sun. That b****** sun I had been so desperate to see for so many weeks had done me over. Oh and the snazzy sports bra had left imprints on my back comparable to the mini mouse costume I used to wear at the age of 4 years old. My bottom was blistered and it was hurting my face to laugh it was so tight. I jumped in the bath and spent the whole time thinking about how we were going to spend our 3 night holiday. At no point did I realise how giddy I was. It's only looking back now that I think the oxygen that high up must have done something to me. I was bouncing around Nha Trang beach with a big floppy hat on, sun glasses, a silk multi coloured shirt and long trousers, and it wasn't even sunny anymore, the sun had set. Within an hour we spent 2 days budget, I'd booked a full day city tour the following day, and found a wonderful 5 star resort we must stay in for our last night with a roof top pool. Paid that upfront as well as the tour before really thinking about what we were spending. Got some aloe Vera, had a pedicure, nearly very nearly booked scuba diving. This was all within an hour, it was like I was drunk. I don't regret any of it however.

The next morning we got up early and went to my new best mate TJs shop to await our chauffeur. We were picked up around 10am and headed straight for the pier. We got a speed boat across to Monkey Island. I was a bit hesitant about doing this as part of our personal tour as being Asia for a little while has taught me that a lot of the advertisements are false and exploiting animals is still at an all time high. However after researching it appeared that this island IS infact inhabited by thousands of free monkeys. And whilst they are obviously acclimatised to the steady in flux of tourists, stealing there peanuts rather then searching for there own food they were with out a doubt wild!

We got off the boat and walked upon this picturesque island. With a beautiful beach and sun loungers to one side and a more scenic type beach if you went the opposite way. With only 2 directions to choose from we went for the one signposted monkeys. We bought 2 packets of peanuts at a little stand on the way through and then stopped because Chris saw a baby goat dressed up and wanted to hold him! Haha, random goats on monkey island defiantly lost I think. Anyway unbeknown to us monkey island virgins we turned back around to discover the term 'cheeky monkeys' in reality. One of them had pinched our peanuts so quickly he was already licking the empty packets. At this point we realised we were going to need far more peanuts then originally anticipated and we weren't even in the 'wild monkey zone'

We went back and bought six more packets. I walked along with a packet open taking one out to feed this little baby coming towards me. Before I could blink there was granpa monkey hitting the baby for taking my peanut and snatching the packet with his other hand from me. Chris from then on was the peanut holder.
As we walked further away from civilisation you could feel a 100 eyes on you. It put me on edge a bit as we were massively out numbered. Sounds so funny as these were tiny little cute monkeys but they wanted those peanuts badly! Ha. A man showed us that if we put the peanuts on our shoulder they would jump up and sit on it to eat them, I was clearly hoping for a baby when I did this, instead I got two male adults arguing in my ears!

As we approached this wooded area we could see all the monkeys in the trees. There was a little family of 3 all cuddling and sleeping and another 2 having a pampering session with one monkey going through the others fur and grooming him. It was so lovely to see and all was calm and peaceful until, the rustling of the peanuts in Chris's pockets appeared to be heard from miles away from these bright little b*****s. Surrounded like a cow with flies, I was edging away from Chris, they were all edging towards him. The babies looking back to make sure there not caught eating by the big monkeys and the big monkeys smacking them when they were in fact caught.

After we ran out of peanuts we headed round following the path and came to the other side of the island, another beautiful beach with swings from the tress and loads of obscure art work. There was a life size horse and carriage made out of water bottles sitting on the beach. And then life size bicycles made out of coke cans. It was a shame we were both so burnt from the day before otherwise we could have easily spent the day here on the beach. Instead we headed back to mainland where I'll driver was waiting to show us the rest of the city.

The next stop was a famous old temple at the top of a hill, as they always are. We walked in and immediately were harassed by the usual suspects asking us for donations. Chris is really good at just poker facing and walking through where as I always seem to get stuck. After being dragged off by Chris we made it half way up and saw an ancient bell. It was huge! A monk brought Chris over and sat him underneath it. Then another man hit the bell with a giant wooden thing and sang blessings. It should have been a very quiet and moving moment, Chris being blessed. Instead it was hilarious. I filmed the whole thing, he was under there for over 2 minutes with the bell being hit every 10 seconds all I could see from the outside were his fit sitting so still. When he came out and saw me laughing he was like what was so funny! I asked what he did when he was in there and he said the monk told him to put his hands together in the prayer stance and he just sat and looked at all the inscriptions on the inside. I could already feel a headache coming on from just watching Chris so I politely declined my invite into the bell and we made our way to the top.

The temple was pretty standard, hold Buddhas, monks, the Asian term 'same same' comes to mind. But behind the giant Buddah was a grave yard, well that's what I would say it was. It was walls and walls of photos with birth dates and death dates on. The photo was your standard photo size, and I imagine inside the chamber were perhaps ashes. It was like a giant Filofax of people. A lot pictured were young men in uniforms, a lot of war veterans were kept here.

We headed back down and got into the car where the driver said our next stop was the cathedral built by the French. No thanks I said, enough of them in England. So we headed to a seafood restaurant for lunch. I can't even remember what I had to eat, it was probably something very average. Chris however had fried eel. I probably would have tried the eel had it not been for the fact that it looked like an actual eel on his plate. I was also already on antibiotics for my tummy so didn't particularly want to take the risk.

So we made our way back to our hotel and had a few hours to chill out and re organise our bags ahead of checking into our flush hotel the following morning. That evening we had planned to meet the Wallington girls we had met back in Laos. Steph, Jo, Jade and Katie. Chris and I went out to eat first before heading to a bar round the corner from there hostel. I had one Mojito with my meal and I kid you not, I was drunk like it was 2am on a Saturday night/morning. They always say not to drink on antibiotics but I had completely forgotten and didn't realise that one drink would be that bad. By the time we reached the bar and I had my second drink everything was spinning, I had to start on the water and the girls hadn't even arrived yet.
Man down man down. When the girls arrived I was slurring my words and trying to explain im not usually THIS bad. After a small catch up we decided to call it a night and made plans to see them the following day. Chribella's wild weekends of drinking were over.

The next morning with a fuzzy head we checked out and literally crossed the road to our new hotel for the night. 5 star luxury, it was opening week for the hotel so we got a £75 room for £26. The bed was the most comfortable bed we had slept in our entire trip and even the toilet had a beautiful mountain view. The main reason for the switch was the roof top pool so we dumped our stuff and headed straight up there. We had the pool to ourselves for the majority of the day. Which sparked Chris to do nude swimming and lots of underwater selfies of us on the go pro. It was such a lovely day to just chill and do nothing and definitely needed by that point. Travelling continually is exhausting. The best thing about this hotel was the fact that the shower area next to the gym was the same rain showers and plush tiling as in the room so even though we were checking out the following day we could spend the day at the pool and then get ready in luxury ready for our next night bus journey to Saigon.

That evening we met the girls for dinner and gave them all the Vietnam advice we could as they were heading north and we were heading south. We then went back and watched the oscars in our boudoir. Flash packers!

Our last day in Nha Trang we woke up early for the buffet breakfast and then headed to the pool. The hotel being brand new still had a few faults to iron out, mainly being the disorganisation at reception. So we managed to walk the girls in and they spent the day with us by the pool. After a lovely day we then showed the girls to the showers and they took advantage of the complimentary slippers haha. We waved them good bye and hope to meet them in Oz or New Zealand later on in the year.

Next stop Saigon to be reunited with Kayleigh and Gareth, otherwise known as Carrot and Snail our couple friends we met and travelled Laos with.

On to another night bus and away we went...