The doctor.

Leaving Vietnam and crossing the boarder into Cambodia via bus has got to be the strangest border crossing yet.

We took the boat from Phu Quoc to Haad Tien, where we were transferred via mini bus to the bus station. The bus station being a cafe with a little tiny angry woman in charge. They say owners are like there dogs, well I'm pretty sure she had a pet Rottweiler. She barked orders at everyone and was demanding the border crossing money to be in Dollars rather then Vietmanese Dong. When we had booked our ticket to cross the border the previous day we asked what currency we would need and was told Dong so we had worked out exactly what we needed and drawn money out the following night. Chris rolled his and eyes and said fine, we will pay in Dollars. But the lady basically was giving us the s***test exchange rate possible. Another scam. I was so angry as time and time again in Asia they think of a new way to get more money from you. I had been recently learning the art of humouring people and being more patient. And I knew, especially being in the service industry, that it's better to be nice and calm rather then angry and shout, as the later gets you nowhere...
Well that all went out the window and I just exploded. Your a thief, your stealing money off of us all, (pointing to all the other backpackers having the same issue) this isn't a bus station, it's ur food establishment. YOU CON ARTIST! I kept saying I want to pay at the border myself, I don't want to give YOU the money, I'll pay myself. She just shouted back. MY BUS DOESNT STOP MY BUS DOESNT STOP. Absolute bulls***. Every bus stops at the border as you have to get out and show your passport and usually you have another bus waiting for you the other side. It didn't matter how many ways I explained this the response was still the same. MY BUS DOESNT STOP. Needless to say it got me nowhere, so off we went to get money and give it to the Rottweiler. Literal day light robbery. After she stole our money we decided to eat directly opposite, there was no way I was giving her anymore of my money.

Shortly it was time for our bus to leave. So we all clambered on and she got on with us. As we were nearing the crossing the lady was now asking for $1 more dollar off of each person. Now I know your all probably thinking... It's only a dollar. But no it was the bloody principle. I was like WHY, she said because you have to see a doctor at the border and if you pay me a dollar then it means you don't have to see the doctor. No! if I have to see the doctor I'll see the doctor thanks. She said you don't trust me. Everyone on the bus shouted NO! She was like fine, you waste your time not mine, shouting at us. We were like no we are wasting your time too because you have to wait ha. And now your not earning yet another $20 dollars off us all.

So the doctor. Well this man was clearly a cleaner who had been given a costume and a shifty thermometer. It's like they were like, oh mate it's ur turn to pretend your a doctor today. We walked in one by one and were asked if we had been ill, you say no, he takes ur temperature, which conveniently came up with the same high temperature for everyone. So at that point he goes... Oooh your sick, pay me $1 dollar and I'll still let you in. WHAT THE HELL. Anyway, one Italian girl was NOT having it. She was yelling in her Italian accent 'if'a youra doctor thena so ama I' she marches back to the van unloads all of the bags until she finds hers. Then unpacks it (you can imagine the Rottweilers face at this point) and pulls out her own thermostat. 'Use mine 'DOCTOR' ' everyone was cracking up at this point. The cleaner in the costume looked up and said no no, $1 dollar now. ARE THIS LOT ALL MATES?
Chris and I pulled out our vaccination booklet and showed it to the pretend doctor who didn't even open it just gave us the sufficient stamp to let us in the country. In the end everyone but us had to pay. But it just made us all happy that Rottweiler had to wait, hands on her hips, tapping her feet. I was literally cackling at her.

So after transferring into the new bus, as we all knew would have to do we finally made it to our first destination in Cambodia, Hello Kampot!
We were taken to our hostel 'the magic sponge' which had been recommended to us buy a German couple we met back in Ha Long Bay. It was a really cool place, with western staff, nice rooms and a crazy golf course in the garden. The first thing I noticed however was a sign on the wall, stating that it was to be Cambodia's first holi festival that evening in a local bar. Obviously I was over the moon as I love Indian culture and although I've not made it to India yet, the holi festivals being held all over the world were the closest I could get to the real thing. I turned to Chris and was like, please can we go, please please. Reluctantly he nodded, having already come to the 2 ones held in London with me the 2 previous years. Whilst I was jumping for joy a girl over heard me and was like omg I want go, we should all go together. So we joined them for the rest of the afternoon.

This girl, who's name I can't remember was with a group of 4 lads, she was 25 and they were all like 18. She had met them a couple weeks back and just joined them. However it was soon clear she was bossing them about and orchestrating what they did. This girl was also the first ever person I had befriended on Facebook and blocked in under 48 hours. TOP travelling dickhead. I could go on for a while about her. But quite frankly it makes me angry even thinking about her.

Anyway let's go back to when we first met her, and when I thought she was alright. She was telling us about this hostel on a river not far from where holi festival was to be held. It was basically a playground on a river, with inflatables, swings, diving platforms, tubes, canoes and parties every day and night. Within an hour we had cancelled the following 2 nights we had booked at Magic sponge and were looking forward to checking into Arcadia the following day.

That evening we walked around the night market to see what Kampot was about. Well Kampot wasn't about much, it was a tiny night market with not much on sale and a tiny little ride for the kiddies. We must have been out about 30 minutes. When we got back we got ready and went to Holi Festival. Another scam. It was just a tiny bar on a river with pots of grounded up chalk on the side and a proper rubbish DJ. It was that evening I realised how fake the girl was. I was like, shall we go it's s***, they ain't even doing a count down for the paint, and it's not even paint it's chalk, let's go. She was like no lets cover ourselves and take photos and pretend it was good. Lol. It's making me laugh just thinking about it. She asked the boys to throw chalk on us, and then kept throwing it on me. It got in my eyes and I was actually pissed off. But I just played the game and through it back in her face with an evil smirk. Anyway, after 10 minutes and sufficient photos, we left and I uploaded my holi festival snap, and cringed that I'd have to spend the next couple of days with her.
Being away I've done things I wouldn't normally do, like throw my self down a zip line 200 meters high, and dive to the depths of the ocean but being pleasant and patient with people even when you didn't like them was the most difficult thing I was learning. There was a reason I am often called marmite. What you see is what you get, I don't like pretending. But I was remembering the wise words I was given by one of my best friends Josie before I left, and learning to just ignore people's behaviours or traits I didn't like rather then telling them there a dickhead. It makes for a much more pleasant time to ignore it, rather then winding myself up about someone.

The next day we packed up our stuff and got 2 tuk tuk drivers to take us down to Arcadia.
On first impressions it looked amazing. Everyone was so cool and the decking bar over hanging the river in the sunshine was great. After discovering there was basically nothing to do in Kampot we got settled in and began drinking. We bumped into a girl called hazel we are had met in Laos. She was wicked and had gone through a bit of a tough time since we had last seen her. It was nice to get away from the other girl who I had started brewing hate for and talk to a real person again.

Hazel invited us to meet her other friends in town and get some food. So we went along and had a few beers. We ended up in the local shop buying booze to drink back at Arcadia before the party began. To my delight they sold pimms and whilst Margaret who was from Germany, Russia and Ukraine (yes all 3) had never tried it, hazel and I were well up for it, and selling it to her for about 15 minutes haha.

An entire bottle of pimms, 2 bottles of vodka and several beers later. Chribella passed out and missed the entire party, which we heard weren't that good anyway. Haha. The next day the annoying girl checked out and I felt relief. We spent the day playing in the river. Which was weird. As you jumped in it was cold on the top and warm at the bottom. Made me think it was infested with germs and bacteria and I didn't really like it. Never the less, we played in the tubes and rope swings all day and had a really good time. That afternoon we went to a restaurant in town we were recommended to eat by Yumi and Matt. It was a rib restaurant and the full rack of ribs was incredible. They even did a man vs food style challenge where if you ate the mound of ribs and sides they gave you then your meal would be free!

Well I'm sitting here now thinking of anything I may have missed about Kampot. And basically unless I go on about that girl more that was basically it. No culture, or history learnt here. Just a bunch of people smoking weed on a decking area suspended over a river. Chris and I could see why people got stuck here, but it wasn't our thing. Neither of us like monging out all day, and you can do that at home anyway so it was time to move on to our next stop in Cambodia.

Bye bye Kampot, it's been a pleasure.