Family thingy - The great escape.

2020 reminded us things we should never have forgotten, our vulnerability and the uncertainty of life. Human beings are arrogant by nature, we assume the best for ourselves and we are indifferent to and deny the existence of the hardships we choose not to understand eg George Floyd, the Lekki toll gate disaster at Lagos etc.

However I digress. Our departure was the same as all departures before. Everyone said they heard me say that they should be ready to depart Loxton by 12pmish. I did not disappoint them, I was ready to depart by 3 pm. I can't confirm or deny I said 12 pm, there is no evidence I ever said something ridiculous. Why the rush? Some people couldn't wait to run out of town

Our first stop was Meningie. Due to the pressure I was placed under to hurry, I forgot the most important part of my luggage, my stew. For those who do not understand, the nigerian beef stew can be described an the essence, the lifeblood, elixir or quiddity of the Nigerian home. All is well if you have stew. We have our various ethnic foods but the stew unites us all. Somewhere between Kooranda and Tailem Bend I recalled that the said stew was still in my microwave in my locked up house.
I wondered if we could go back but the MOTH (man of the house) refused to make eye contact, he is suddenly so focused on the road ahead……

Child 1 drove down to meet us in Meningie, it feels like yesterday I to asked him to hold his sister's hand or the stroller during family thingys of earlier years. It brings it back to me that they do not remain little for very long at all.

Second stop was Adelaide, then onwards to Port Lincoln with brief stops at Crystal brook, Whyalla and Tumby bay.

Lessons

1. The age range of our group is between ages 71 to 2, made up of 10 humans and 2 groups- family one and family two. For those with teenage children, I seriously recommend travelling with another family with very young children or toddlers, borrow if you have to, and make sure your children are intimately involved with the little munchkins. Make sure they watch the parents as they undertake the never ending rotation of feeding, changing nappies, car- seat -challenge, bathing, carrying them around when they are hungry cranky tired, bored, hot, cold, confused, wet, dry, yelling, sleepy, sleepless and exhausted.
You will get questions like
"How did you manage with 3 of us when we were that small?"
My thoughts- I ask myself that question, still haven't figured it out.
"Why is he/she crying?"
My thoughts - Why does the sun shine
"I suddenly don't feel like having any children!"
My thoughts- Bingo, sex education! No not for a while yet you shouldn't!

2. I decided to start a new exercise regime, isn't that what people do in January each year? I was lured into hiking a walking trail for 2 hours in Port Lincoln. I will not name names. I couldn't feel my legs at the end.
My thoughts - Do not, I repeat, do not try this ever again. As we say in pigin english "na fat I fat, no be person I kill". Back to my 30 Min walk at home with Leslie please.

4. As always, to save costs we rarely eat out while on holiday. We carried our own food including a rice cooker and turn-garri. As the kids are much older I tend to do less which is really good. Child 2 did the cleaning, dishwashing etc roster for this trip. She was accused of fraud, deceit, manipulation etc by some disgruntled family members. She ignored their complaints and emotional outbursts, focused on the task and published the roster that must be obeyed(she'll do well in the tax office). Ask a member of your household to be the roster man/woman. If they ever invite you to the roster mediation look at them like you can't understand english and walk away. My advice in this instance is DO NOT GET INVOLVED, and do not let them put you on the roster either, after all you are paying the bills. Please leave the parental guilt at home and watch the chores disappear.
If your children are younger, like FAMILY TWO, forget disappearing chores. You will be tired and hassled as usual.

5. Use Woolworths/coles online, delivery to your boot. The grocery store aisle is not a tourist destination. If it is a small town then support the local business.

Complaints
1. Unknown to us both of the husbands and MOTH researched and identified all the tennis courts in all towns before we got there. Their single minded dedication and initiative to this one thing was exemplary. How did they manage to map out all the tennis court locations from the Coorong to Port Lincoln? They traveled with their balls and racquets The wives were blissfully ignorant. They organised tennis trysts and communicated between themselves by text messages, they would slip out, yelling "I'll be back in an hour!" and return 4 hours later.
2. A certain traveller decided to begin her low carb journey and another traveller decided to fry puff puff for everyone every 2 days. (puff puff is a spongy deep fried sweet dough)
3. Plantain saga - We had a severe shortage of plantain. I did the responsible thing and decided to implement operation-thinly-sliced-or- chopped with immediate effect. Each time I prepared the plantains I would either thinly slice or chop it. I felt we had to ration this precious commodity until we could establish a new supply chain. The revolt and insults began flooding in, the irony was that those who cooked the least complained the most. They wanted bigger portions and sizes. I believe in miracles but satisfiying their expectations was beyond me.
4. Organising acceptable activities to do at each stop for humans between ages 2 to 71 was similar to peace negotiations between rebel factions entrenched in their positions. You have to consider:
a. The population of flies at said location/activity
b. Daily Temperature
c. Required mental energy
d. Physical capability
e. Child safety
f. Heat
g. Cold
h. Water
i. Beach: is the sand clean and white, is the water green enough or blue enough
j. Dietary requirements
k. Distance from closest civilisation
l. Network availability.

Frequently used phrases
Jaden get down
What is the time
Jaaaaden
UNO
You are cheating!!, Why can't you play UNO without cheating! No! You didn't say UNO!
Oh my God! Please bring Jaden down
What time are we leaving?
How did Jaden get up there?
Is there a Tennis court around?

New things and special things
First time
· Sauna - lasted 5 mins
· Segway tour - highly recommend
· Sashimi (raw fish)

We spent a day with a Nigerian family in Lincoln, it was such a pleasure and they were the ultimate hosts and we had a good time. On our way home, we also stopped at the at L'Anse café Tumby Bay and finally stopped briefly at Adelaide to attend the Nigerian Association of South Australia Gala and Award Night.

School starts this week and we all return to our various hustling. Regarding hustling, I don't think we ever stopped. This is what makes it a family thingy not a vacation.
So why do it? It gives me TIME:

To actually talk, to my children and family.

To think, and to remind myself not to worry, acknowledging His greatness as we criss cross Australia.

To teach my children that it is ok to take a break sometimes because they see us working so hard all the time.

To teach them to love who they are, where they come from, be proudly Australian and Nigerian and not let anyone's else's insecurity define their identity.

To laugh and to be grateful.

I had to throw away my stew, with the plastic container.