We've now been in the fabulous city of Rio de Janeiro for nearly a week and we still just can't figure out how anyone gets anything done here... How are you meant to be productive in any sort of way when it's as hot as I'm sure hell must be, the population is full of the hottest people on planet, and there are more than a handful of beaches in just walking distance?! Like how is this even legal! I even said to Negar, can you imagine growing up in a a place like this where hanging out with friends or a casual Sunday with the family usually involves a trip to the beach. I would be such a different person... Our tour guide told us the other day that the rest of Brazil thinks of cariocas (people from Rio) as beach bums, and why not? It's too hot to do anything else lolz.

A description of the past couple of days includes us basically visiting the major sights and trips to the beach. The most fun we've had has been at night, though... ;)

Last Friday we decided to go to an area called Lapa where there was a big street party full of good food and caiparinhas and samba music (absolutely terrifying to learn!!). Within five minutes of our arrival and in the middle of our deliberations as to which stand has the best (actually, no, the biggest) caiparinhas we're approached by the biggest man I've seen in real life in a long time. His "line" is if he can ask me a question so that he can win a bet. I never actually hear what the question is but we start chatting and I find out your man is only slightly taller than Michael Jordan, who is 6' 6" for reference lolz. Like wut? He says not to be intimidated by him, he's there with a bunch of girls and he was indeed. After introductions (these people were cool but I was worried we were going to be taken within 48 hours of our arrival in Rio, would be such an Allison move) they asked what we wanted to drink and one of the girls mentions ginger cachaca and we start walking on the direction of said bar, our kidnappings becoming more and more probable. No, I'm only kidding Mom and Dad ;) they were lovely people! All training to be English teachers so their English was unreal which balanced perfectly with our nonexistent Portuguese skills lolz.

So we're in the streets, drinking beer, taking shots of cachaca and sweating to DEATH. Oh my god, such heat and sweat I've never experienced before. Naturally Negar decides it's a good idea to make out with a hot, sweaty Brazilian guy.... He was very cute to be fair but she later described the experience as salty. Yum. But not really. Meanwhile the rest of us are having the chats about the most random s***e: tinder, methods of teaching English and which club/bar in the area will play pretty much every type of music under the sun because apparently no two people like the same music. This is where Vinnie (Michael Jordan) tells me he likes how tall I am because he likes girls on his level. Lolz. I'm still a foot shorter than you. He finds out I'm only 22 and tells me I will break hearts in the future. Not now... in the future. Watch out men of the world, I will be a very dangerous woman to be around in the foreseeable future ;)

We then end up heading over to listen to samba in the main area of Lapa and this guy who is friends with a German girl our now friends know seems to take a liking to me... oh joy. No, he was a nice enough guy, but Allison was not interested. And he didn't cop on to that. He's a ballerina (not a joke) so fab body and all and good looking face but way too much tongue!!!! Like who told you that was ever ok?! Because that person should be punched. I eventually manage to run away, good work team. Later on when Negar and I were chatting with one of our new guy friends he informs me that make out sesh wasn't my fault. Lolz. And I agree. That story doesn't end there, though, just wait....

That night we stayed out till about 5, we were going to attempt to see the sunrise but that was a bit too ambitious apparently. I also always feel guilty when I see the sun rise and I've been out on a night of excessive drinking. That's when I know I've been a ridiculous person...

The next day we don't get up to much as I'm massively sunburnt and we're tired so we stay in the hostel that night and have a few beers and start chatting to this girl Gabriela from Belo Horizonte, the best city in the best state in Brazil we are about to find out. Absolutely lovely girl, amazing English and super funny personality. On Sunday her friend Natalia flies in to join her here in Rio and we all go to the street market in Ipanema and for a few beers in one of the big gay bars in the area.

They inform us on all things Brazil and one of our conversations centers around race in this country. If you know me at all then you're aware that Allison is very partial to non-white guys, for whatever reason. Latinos tend to be my type but also recently black guys ;) Anyway, they say that a lot of people in Brazil are still racist. In a country with people of all different shades and ancestries under the sun, white or tanned white skin is still considered most beautiful as one can see from the famous Brazilian models we all know. I see Neymar on a TV screen during a Barcelona game and comment on the fact that he's very good looking and they laugh. They say it's so strange because in Europe you'll see Neymar on advertisements for beauty products or upscale items but in Brazil you don't and it's because of his skin color. He looks poor they say. What?! How can someone's facial features give off any indication of an economic class? I was shocked. They say this is the underlying racism that's still so prevalent in this country.

Monday was another interesting day in the sense that Negar and I met our future husbands. Not. Even. Kidding. I went to the shop and got a melon and some water, I come back and Negar joins me in the sitting room while I cut it up. I see three guys come in that I don't recognize to be staying in our hostel and I sense them eavesdropping on our conversation and generally staring in our direction where there is really nothing else to stare at but the two of us. One of the guys finally asks where we're from and this is when I finally notice his immense beauty. Like my god. Their English isn't the best but we find out they're from Israel and then turn back to our conversation as they talk in Hebrew. You know when you're talking to someone and you kind of look around the room as you're telling a story, well I catch the other one looking at me not once but probably five times. He's so cute. Olive skin tone, very dark brown eyes, a scruffy sort of beard and brown hair, about my height. The one Negar fancies is a bit taller with an undercut, olive skin, brown eyes and a nose ring that I never knew could look so good on a guy. Since I sense them looking and I'm intrigued, I ask where in Israel are they from. They say, well since the country is so small we're basically from all of it. From all the cities? Yeah? That's your final answer? Such messers but we finally gather two are from the north and one is from the center of the country.

We're chatting away and I'm falling deeper in love. The way this guy stares at me makes me feel like he's reading my soul. No joke. We chat about random s***e, we're informed there are no thieves in Israel, not one, guys. Lolz. They tell us about a show they've seen in Buenos Aires and Negar's man (yeah we divvied them up) starts to try to explain it but then says never mind. His friends start cracking up. Apparently he has a slight tendency of talking about things for which he does not possess the English skills and then says never mind. Swoon. My god. We pass the next few minutes in pure bliss, just so happy to be in each others company. (I really hope they felt the same so I'm not actually the biggest creep on the face of the earth.) Finally, it's time for them to go as they're off to go hang gliding and they're guide has arrived. It crosses my mind and Negar tells me later hers as well to ask what they're doing tonight. "Don't leave me ever," I want to say. We don't. All we can muster is "have fun!" and "see you in Israel soon!" (cause it's that small apparently lolz). And just like that the love of my life came into my life and left and we didn't even have the balls to ask what they're doing later, to declare the intense love and infatuation that is coursing through my veins. Way to go Allison, way to f***ing go. So naturally Negar and I have decided to go to Israel at some point in the VERY near future and find the loves of our lives. This plan is full-proof.

The last event I will describe was Monday night and the occasion for a street party in Centro. Hot sweaty street party again? Sign me up osly. We went with a bunch of our new friends from the hostel and it was very cool. A street that I wouldn't consider to be very big is host to hundreds of Brazilians and gringos like us all looking to get locked and make out with hot guys/girls. Basically the best kind of party. Amirite?! It's hot, buckets of sweat are streaming down my face so yeah you guessed it, I was feeling sexyyyyy. That's probably the biggest lie I've told in my life. In any case, Rio is huge (8 million people more or less) but guess who the f*** we see cause apparently there is only one party a night in this HUGE city... Not Israeli guys, no, otherwise I would be on a flight to Tel Aviv as I write this. Motherf***ing tongue guy from that Friday night in Lapa when I had to run away and made Negar pretend to be my lesbian lover (yeah, forgot to mention that one). Your man has not learned a thing... Grabbing up on my ass, my waist, anything that he can reach and I'm trying to back away and make a run for it. I eventually get away and see a cute guy as I'm headed over to my friends and have a casual conversation (dude is smoking hot and ripped cause he's not wearing a shirt. Rio, I love you) and a casual make out and I'm over to my friends. Later on your man finds me again and Negar has to throw a b**** fit and tell him to stay away from me. His response? "Here's my friend for you, he's very open minded." Negar flips a s*** (and this year's Oscar goes to...). Eventually he leaves us alone, kbye thank dear baby Jesus.

All in all such a fun night. I had a few beers and even more caiparinhas. The friends we were with are amazing and I've learned so much from them. We danced in the street, ate some beef and sausages from a stand that Negar finally told me today was probably slightly undercooked (good looking out, Sharafi) and generally made some very good memories.

Tomorrow we're off to Ilha Grande, which is meant to be beautiful. All in all, I had the best time time in Rio. We've done and seen everything we wanted to do but the best part has been the countless unpredictable events that happened daily. If the rest of the trip is anything like Rio, I may just never come home.

So for now, I'll leave this little entry here. I'm sure I'll look back on it and be like Jesus christ woman get it together, but for now I'm having the best time laughing at how ridiculous we are and will continue to be. The Gringa Motorcycle Diaries are only just beginning...