Where to begin with our time in Florianopolis... I have to admit that Negar and I were very sad leaving São Paulo and probably not very excited heading back to a beach town but I don't think we could have ever been prepared for the shenanigans ahead of us in Floripa.

We took the overnight bus from São Paulo and arrived in Floripa two hours ahead of schedule (I've never been so surprised by anything in my entire life) and then took two buses to get to our hostel which was located on the other side of the island in Barra do Lagoa. All very straight forward and since we couldn't check into our room we decided to go find some breakfast. What a task, my friends. We wandered around the little town into supermarkets here and there trying to find any kind of yogurt, bread and/or fruits and vegetables. The selection everywhere left much to be desired so we were quite pleased to stumble across a bakery selling your traditional breakfast things, just what we wanted! We just couldn't figure how to get anything. Typically in Western countries, ordering and receiving something in a bakery involves you going up to the counter, ordering, paying and then receiving your food. That's it - all things are taken care of in a single queue and then you're on your way with you delicious pastry. If only life could be so easy here... We walked into the bakery in Barra and couldn't figure out where we needed to queue up first - do I ask the lady behind the left-hand side of the counter for my bread and then ask the pastry lady to the right for a pastry? I can't ask the same person for things behind the counter? Or do I have to pay first in a completely different queue and then queue up again with my receipt for my things behind the counter? Because we're morons and don't speak a word of Portuguese, we're very fond of pointing at things that we want in the counter window and then holding up the number of fingers to signify the quantity we would like. If you, Brazilian bakery, make me order first when I have absolutely no idea what I'm ordering or which words in Portuguese to us, then I most likely will be so intimidated that I leave your shop without getting anything. The saddest and most frustrating part about the whole thing was that everyone else seemed to know exactly how to get a pastry! How did they figure out the system?! Did their parents explain how it all worked when they were little or something? We must have looked so sad and defeated in the middle of that bakery... Hungry and tired, we were forced to leave the bakery still unaware of how to get an ever-elusive pastry.

We were pretty bummed at our failed attempts so walking past the beach bar near our hostel we decided to get a beer, at 10:30 am. There was a small old man watching a football match who looked like he had already knocked about four beers back so we weren't too concerned about our behavior. And things felt right again.

Back at our hostel we were finally able to check in and we then quickly applied our sunscreen so we could leg it out to the beach and play in the water. We were wrecked from the overnight bus and desperately wanted to nap for a few hours. I played in the waves for a half hour and then lay down for my rest. Within the hour the rain was coming down... I don't think I've actually ever been rained on at the beach. It was very sad. We still managed to sleep for a few hours at the hostel and only emerged to enjoy our free caipirinha (I never thought I would say this, but I'm so sick and tired of free caipis at all our hostels. No, I don't want it is my mentality now...) that we were very unexpectedly given by our new best friend, Loch (he's a man of many names and from here on out will be referred to as either JJ, for his very traditional name Juan José, or hole, as that's what his nickname means in German.) JJ is a very attractive guy from Guatemala, although we definitely thought he was Brazilian or Argentinian because he's taller than any Guatemalan I've ever met and generally looks like absolutely no Central American ever. Pretty green eyes, tanned skin, athletic body - hostel hottie #2 if you will. The first conversation we had with him centered around tv shows we watch as he needed to find some new ones to entertain himself. Then the conversation took a turn and he explained how sometimes he wakes up in the morning after having smoked a J before going to bed and doesn't remember what he either watched the previous evening or what happened. This should be taken as a sign for future conversations to come with this man...

In any case, we were still exhausted, as I'm a little kid and need my 10 hours of sleep a night to feel alive, so we were fairly antisocial on the first evening when it came to meeting people.

The next day was Aussie day, however, and it was (like most holidays) an excuse to day drink (my favorite hobby). Negar and I actually believed we didn't want to drink (good one, girls) or partake in any of the shenanigans and had only made plans with ourselves to go to the small beach around the corner from the hostel. We were soon informed that would be the exact location for the Aussie day party the hostel was putting on, and we were soon given the special task by JJ to head down to the beach to find a "good" spot to set up the tent. Basically, the two biggest morons, Negar and Allison, were given the task to start a party they didn't even want to attend... But JJ's face was so difficult to say no to, so we did as we were told and before too long people from the hostel were turning up with bottles of liquor and mixers for an epic day drinking sesh. We soon were "persuaded" by our English friends to go in on a bottle of vodka and rum and we were having an amazing time before too long. AMAZING lolz. There were a lot of Aussies staying in the hostel and many of them said it was one of the most fun Aussie days they've ever had. Everyone was drinking and chatting and then going to play in the water (safety concerns??). We chatted with JJ for ages and I think this was when we slowly started to figure out that he's not a normal person. We found out generally that he's been traveling around the globe for a while now and had worked in the hostel the previous summer and decided to return for another summer, but more on him later.

The next morning over breakfast JJ appears with a clipboard saying he would be our personal guide (along with 8 other people) on a tour of the beaches in the south of the island. Again, it's very difficult to say no to his endearing face, so we signed up. We were also very much looking forward to the ATM tour that would also be taking place. You see, there are no ATMs in the area of the island where we were staying in and getting to the area where the ATMs are located is a bit of a hassle. This Dutch couple staying at the hostel (such funny and ridiculous people) could only be convinced to come along if we toured the ATMs of the island and it became the major selling point for the tour, no longer the beaches.

We were naturally late getting going but before long we were on our way to the first beach. Your man, the van driver, had the strangest taste in music at 11 am. It was predominantly house remixes of already bad songs but I felt like we were in a full on club. Like what are you doing, bro? Can we just put on some smooth jams and have nap time instead of fist pumping? (Exactly what Dutch guy was doing, I don't think he'd ever been so pleased with van music ever before).

The first beach was really beautiful but JJ tells us not to get comfortable because we'd only be staying for a half an hour (or so he thinks cause van driver almost abandons us). We play in the water and then get out to dry off and this is where a jet passes overhead. JJ points to it and says he used to be in the Guatemalan Air Force and because it's such a specific previous job for a person to have had, I believe him. Turns out he was never in the Guatemalan Air Force or any Air Force for that matter but Negar latches hold of his lie and concocts the story that JJ started the second Guatemalan civil war by bombing the wrong area and was then expelled from the country so here he is now in Brazil. This is where we first learn that JJ has a penchant for ridiculous lies, such a weirdo.

The rest of the day was the best craic touring the different beaches mainly because the people were so ridiculous and funny. There's a Croatian and a Slovenian who are traveling together and are absolutely hilarious, the Dutch couple, an Australian guy, two Kiwis and the two of us and JJ, of course. A strange mixture of people definitely translates to all the fun.

Back at the hostel that evening, we buy a bottle of wine and sit on one of the hostel porches. Our lovely tour guide for the day JJ ends up joining us along with a very fun and lovely group so that what was meant to be a quiet night in turns into an all-night affair. Most of the people in the hostel we're going out to a samba club a bus ride away but Negar and I couldn't be asked to move anywhere, let alone to a club where there would most likely me standing involved. Anyway, the group leaving for the club congregates around as Brecht, the funniest Dutchman on the planet, tries to sign more people up for the transfer to the club.

Let me just describe Brecht for you and I think Negar did it best of us all. He looks like a party. The first conversation I ever had with him he informed me that he stays up until around 8 am everyday partying and then goes to bed until mid-afternoon when he emerges in preparation for the night's festivities. The only time we ever see him (besides a shocking sighting at breakfast one morning) is after sunset with his shirt unbuttoned, a cigarette in one hand, a beer in the other and a clipboard to sign people up for the party or transfer happening that night (in his other hand???). His favorite phrase (typically about drinking or partying in general) is, "That's the mentality, baby!" He's all around the best craic any human on the entire planet could be.

The group is so much fun, people from all corners of the planet all hanging around listening to weird house music (thanks, Reuben), smoking and having the weirdest chats. Eventually they all head out the door and the rest of the group is left with whatever is left to drink in the hostel as the bar closes at 11 pm. JJ uses his authority to reopen the bar for a last round of beers (my hero) and we all savor the banter before heading off to bed, which for some is earlier than for others... JJ (we later find out) is very fond of what many would call an "Irish" exit, which involves a person leaving a party or even small gathering of people without saying goodbye to anyone. At some point I turn to Negar and ask where he is... She explains that she saw him standing near the group at one point (most likely nodding his head along with the music as he tends to do) and then the next second he was out the door. Like what? We hung out with him all day and had drinks and wine with him all night and then he just left without saying goodbye? I thought it was hilarious more than anything, it was too funny to be upset about.

The next morning we see him at breakfast looking a bit sheepish. "Where the hell did you go last night?!" we both blurt out in unison. "Oh, I just wanted to go home so I left. That's what I do," he responds. What? That's what you do? Usually when someone is caught in their escape they say, "Oh my bad, I was feeling ill and I didn't want to bother you," or some lie along those lines to save face. Not JJ and I adore him for it. He thinks there's absolutely no problem leaving a party without saying goodbye. In fact he thinks it's the best way and wishes one could do it for all occasions. Just leave. No explanations.

The next day Negar and I have a very lame day. Very lame. We spent the morning talking with JJ, while I chilled on the hammock at the hostel, talking about how we needed to go to the ATM in town. Finally, we go. We come back and decide to go to the beach around 3 in the afternoon. We rub our sunscreen in, check out an umbrella from the hostel to protect ourselves from the sun and head out. As we're walking along the beach we notice some white squishy objects littering the beach and finally realize they're tiny jellyfish. We think nothing of it and find a suitable spot on the beach to set up our umbrella. The only issue now facing us is the tropical storm winds making it incredibly difficult to put the damn umbrella in the ground. I try to dig a whole deep enough and put the umbrella in but the wind is blowing so hard that eventually I just take the top portion off the umbrella and sit down next to Negar on our towels, defeated and in need of a cigarette. So we're crouching under our incredibly short umbrella, struggling to keep it from flying away and shading our eyes from the sand flying everywhere. Some guy nearby is staring at us and chuckling to himself. f*** you, Brazilian bro. Not all of us are as talented as you at setting up umbrellas in tropical storm winds. We eventually try again and succeed just barely in getting it in the ground so Negar is able to head off into the water. She runs out 30 seconds later because she'd seen jellyfish everywhereeeeeee. Ah well, I'll try. I was in such a need of a cool down after the long day trekking around town so I figured no jellyfish could be scary enough to prevent me from playing in the waves (my new favorite pastime). I was wrong. I felt like I got stung on my ankle within my first 2 minutes in the water (I probably didn't to be honest) but I legged it out of that water as fast as Usain Bolt.

So our day sucked. It was uneventful and the beach and jellyfish and wind made our attempts at fond memories impossible. There was obviously only one solution. JJ had informed us that morning that we had consumed all the wine bottles the hostel had in stock (only five to be fair) and that the hostel would not be getting anymore in before our departure the next day so we could go ahead and buy our own. And oh man did we. We scoured the town and found one white bottle (only one in all of Barra - like what? Did you not know we were coming?!) and then settled on two more liter bottles of red wine. The shenanigans began again before too long up on the rooftop of the hostel as everyone drank and chatted. This is where I heard the funniest story of my life. As I explained above, JJ is very fond of "Irish" exits and Negar and I both wanted to know where such behavior stemmed from. Like, that's not normal so why do you do it? I think what we sort of gathered is that JJ is slightly socially awkward. He's so funny and from what we can tell very outgoing when he's around us, but sometimes it's very hard for him to be in social gatherings and he just wants to go be by himself. He seems to very much like being alone, and fair play to him because sometimes I do to. Anyway, he tells us a story about how his exiting habits hit a new low (or high depending on how you look at it??) at a friend's graduation party when he wanted to leave but saw no obvious suitable exit routes so he was left with no choice but to escape out the bathroom window. And he would have gotten away with it, too, had there not been a camera just outside the bathroom window catching him in the act. Negar and I are cracking up. Is this real life? I see things in movies and brush them off as being too ridiculous to actually happen. But JJ explains the event and says it in such a matter-of-fact tone so that it's very obvious to us that he must do stuff like this all the time. When he wants to go, he will go - come hell or high water. His least favorite social event takes place in a crowded living room where one has to say hello and goodbye to everyone on entering or leaving the room, especially since he's Guatemalan and it's customary in the culture to give everyone a personal hello. I've never had so much fun listening to another person's stories about their life and what they like and dislike. Never in my lifetime have I wanted to read another person's thoughts like I want to his. It must be exhausting inside his head and I just want to know what he thinks about!!!! He's definitely one of the most unique people I've met in my entire life and I can safely say Negar and I were very sad to meet him and then have to leave, just what I talked about in my last post. Sometimes you wish you could take people with you wherever you went just to spend more time with them and understand them better. JJ, we miss you already!

As the drinking progressed we all gathered in our heads that we should head down to the small beach for a midnight dip (or at least that's what Negar and I were led to believe). Down on the beach everyone seemed content to just sit in the sand and drink more but Negar and I were very eager to go into the water. As we had not planned anything out (morons), we decided we would go skinny dipping as the area around the water was dark and we were sure no one would be able to see us. Off we go, undressed and into the water. I hadn't been skinny dipping since beach week after my high school graduation in 2010 and I don't know why I've put it off so long!!! It was so refreshing and relaxing, our boobs were finally let out of boob prison and life couldn't have been better. Then Negar got stung by a jellyfish. Not kidding. So we leg it out of the water and try to get dressed as fast as possible (very hard for Negar as she's in massive pain) and then when finally redressed, two Spanish lifeguards try to give her advice on how to treat the pain. Thanks, guys. So Negar heads home but it's definitely not the end of her night, I later find out. I stay on the beach with the rest of the gang and an Australian girl and I get it into our heads that we should go skinny dipping again. Your friend was just stung by a jellyfish, moron, you really think you should go back in the water? Osly. So we go back in the water, have all the craic and then on my way out I get stung by a jellyfish on my foot. f***, it hurts. Naked and in pain, I try to redress as fast as possible as people are starting to stare. Ugh, why is life so hard?! Coming out of the water there are huge red rings around my calf and ankle but I don't let it stop my evening and try to drink away the pain. Brecht eventually arrives at 4 in the morning looking for the party people. Brecht, it's 4 am, most of the party people are asleep. We hang out for a bit longer and then around 5 start wandering home. I don't know if it's the alcohol or I'm just a massive clutz but I fall on a massive rock on my way up the stairs from the beach and cut both my knee and my shin. I've never felt such pain in my entire life and blood was streaming everywhere. I limp back to the hostel and try to spray neosporin on the affected areas but it keeps bleeding. My friend Taeya is such a sweetheart and helps me clean the cuts, commenting that maybe I'll have a few nice scars as my souvenir from Floripa. Lolz, fingers crossed I don't. I eventually go to bed before the bleeding stops because I'm exhausted and Negar wakes up the next morning to the sight of my bloody leg (as I'm on the top bunk). Woops. JJ laughs at me at breakfast (he had exited the party in his usual way before we left for the beach) and everyone endlessly asks me about my injuries. I don't know if I've ever felt like such a moron in my entire life. You got stung my a jellyfish and massacred your leg all within the space of two hours. Moron of the year goes to Allison Miller for her efforts in Floripa. I would like to thank Negar Sharafi for leaving me to my own devices.

In any case, it's very safe to say we had an amazing time in Floripa. We sort of complained about heading back to the beach again and to be honest we didn't hang out with Brazilians at all, only foreigners which we could have done anywhere on the planet. But we had the best time with all these hilarious weirdos and I wouldn't change it for the world. The Gringa Motorcycle Diaries led us to many more gringos and I miss those gringos so much already... On to Iguaçu and the beautiful waterfalls! The loss I feel from leaving all those wonderful people will hopefully be filled by the beauty of nature!