Transport in Africa is an adventure. And also one of the most common causes of death, just behind malaria and tuberculosis. Out of 100,000 vehicles, about 20 in the UK are involved in fatal accidents, compared to 510 in Kenya. It is highly discouraged to travel at night, and I don't need much pursuading. Boda-bodas (taxi motorbikes) are quite convinced traffic rules don't apply to them, and it is more common for them to ignore a red light than to stop at it. It seems to be generally accepted that vehicles have right of way; the green man in no way means pedestrians are free to cross. Dalla-dallas (little pickup minibuses) often have slogans on them such as 'Luck is With Us', 'God Bless Us' and 'Arrive Alive'. Roads are usually in appalling conditions- the main road between two countries are often dirt tracks, however, speeds can still be that of tarmac motorways. There seems to be an ongoing competition of who can load their vehicle the most, from little bicycles decorated with matoke, to large coaches with three piece suite headwear. It is not uncommon to see a dalla-dalla with a load double it's height on it's roof. Sometimes those loads include people. It looks a little like a nationwide circus rehearsal. (I say rehearsal, because it's anything but smooth) Taxi drivers will dangerously swerve infront of a bike to claim that highly desired tiny space in the queue, and then comment on how bad driving standards in Africa are. I've seen a driver briefly shut his eyes at a tight moment- sometimes all you can do is pray.

Dalla-dallas (AKA Matatus) are licensed to carry 14 passengers, so naturally we have been in some with 30. I think children don't count. Or perhaps females don't count either. So, there you are, hurtling along the bumpy dirt road, 30 people and a chicken in a Matatu that legally seats 15, with a load transforming you into a double decker London bus and a 'Man Eats Man Society' slogan blazened on the back. Surely, there is nothing legal there, right? A policeman stops you at one of the regular controls, has a quick look in, and waves you on your way. Huh? If this is ok, what are you looking for???

Journeys can be long. Dar es Salaam (Tanzania) to Ruhanga (Uganda), for example, takes about two and half days. Whenever the bus stops to drop people off or at a police check, men, women and boys will come running, baskets held high, carrying drinkes, nuts, bread, crisps, biscuits, mandaazis, muffins, chapatis, fruit, eggs, meat, etc. Hunger isn't usually a problem, however peeing certainly is. Many hours can go by with only a roadside stop for the men (and me- I simply don't have the bladder of a camel, as hard as I try). Finding the balance between mad squirming and major dehydration is an art.

Border crossings can also be somewhat of a puzzle. Immigration to leave the country, walk half a mile inbetween trucks, past barriers, over bridges, round unused rooms, through a crowd of money lenders, drink vendours and Masai jewellery sellers, to the immigration to enter the next country. Find the coach, only to be told it's not there, you have to get a matatu to another place and get another coach from there. Ok, so where's the matatu? It'll come in an hour. Wait and trust, trust and wait. So far, the promised vehicle, person or event has always materialised eventually. God knows how. I have yet to understand the system, or discover if there is a system.

Other than the flexible arrival time (and risk of death), buses are fairly reliable. Trains, on the other hand, are not. In the rare case of there being a working train service going in your direction, it'll probably only go once a week and take 3 times as long as the bus. "Trains generally go on time, unless they are delayed from their previous destination, in which case they may be a day late". And that is why Africa's economy sucks, but their patience and good spirit is the best there is. Talking of patience, a matatu will wait for an hour to fill up before it leaves, but as soon as it's moving, it won't wait a second to potentially avoid being another of those vehicles doing acrobatics off the side of the road. I'm beginning to appreciate the extreme Health & Safety regulations we have in the UK...

But, when you are sitting (however uncomfortably) in whatever mode of transport, being fully aware you could hitch the journey in half the time in Europe, and you are probably going on an unexplainable detour, you look out the window at the vast savannahs, the rocky hills and the wild storms, and you think "This is Africa. I wouldn't see it any other way!"