So following the come down from the fullmoon party, we decided to head to an island that could be walked around in a day and where some of the beaches are only accesible by boat. We left Ko Samui around 7am and following a brief stop in Ko Phangan we headed for the remote island of Ko Tao (or Turtle Island).

The funny thing about this "Turtle Island" name is that many tourist books say that it's called turtle Island because it used to home to a large number of turtles which have sadly dissapeared following man's intervention with the island. However, if you ask the locals why it's called turtle island they will take you outside point to a mountain and say "look...It looks like a turtle" and it does. SO as much I want to believe that there used to be a mass of turtles in the area, I think the fact that the mountain on the island looks like a turtle is much more believable....and it's funnier!!!

As soon as we arrived at the main port of Ko Tao, we noticed that there was a "Mr J." who could fix you up with anything, from lending you money (presumably for a kidney) to homemade condoms (presumably made from the kidney you gave up for lending money). I was intrigued to find this Mr J, but the fact that this guy can sort out pretty much "ANYTHING" suggested he might not be the best person to make friends with.

In the end we got chatting to a dive instructor from the UK and asked him where we could find accomodation and he basically said, the islands full. As the island is just 7Km by 3Km, there's only around 1600 beds yet for some reason, people turn up thinking they might get a room on a whim. At first we thought we were screwed but a good ol trusty Rough Guide from 2005 fixed us up with some accomodation at a place called Freedom beach. We hitched a ride on the back of a pick-up truck and arrived at our destination with 2 fractured backsides and needing a crowbar to undo our grip from the side of the truck. Bumpy ride?!?!? You can say that again. Though I think the fact that I had a well fronted girl sitting opposite me kept me highly entertained throughout the journey. In fact, I could've done that journey a thousand times over just to watch that show again. aaah, the memories....

Luckily, the resort offered some pretty priceless scenery, including the two ladyboys on reception who'd obviously forgotten to take their hormone tablets for a few days because their beards were more impressive than David Belamy's. Seriously girls/boys...make an effort!!! The resort was in a secluded bay which had crystal clear waters (until you pissed in it), with some good little coves to go crabbing and stuff like that. Our room, sat on stilts above the sea which meant we could easily climb down and get into the water from the comfort of our bed which was pretty amazing.

The beach was also pretty amaxing and Jess decided to burn her knuckles in the sun. Now, I've heard of people burning precarious parts of their bodies...but knuckles? How on earth do you do that? At first, we though it was a reaction of some sort but NO!!!...she had definetely burnt her fingers. At first it was funny, but then as time progressed it did start to get a little more serious. Only question now, how do you explain to the Pharmacist that you burnt your knuckles?

Later that night we headed out for some food and a drink before retiring back to bed where we decided it would be a good idea to sleep on the balcony in 24 degrees heat with no wind, in a sleeping bag, under a mosquito net and not in the room, where it was safe, and had a fan. At first it was fun, but whenever some little creature made a sound I was greeted by a "shhh...listen", or a "What was that?", Although there was some precarious noises, the only thing that I was worried about was the fact that my balls felt like they were melting in sweat that must have been close to boiling point. I gave up and was closely followed by Jess. By this time it was about 2am and for some reason this place needed us to be checked out by 9am!!!!

9am??!?!?! What is this?

Next stop Ko Nangyaun (3 tiny island off Kao Tao)