RIO DE JANEIRO

What a city - I love it!It has everything, sun, sea, sand and a party scene to rival that in Buenos Aires - well on most days anyway.Unfortunately when I arrived it was probably the worst weather I have ever seen in the entire year - my raincoat was out and that didn't stop sh1t, we ended up in a café, instead of hitting the beach!!

Still the nights don't require sunshine and there were some wicked clubs in Rio.One named Rio Scenatario was a weird place in Lapa, party central of Rio.The building apparently works as an antique shop by day, so the walls were decorated with old clocks and portraits of some freaky looking people.The room is filled with antique food blenders, cameras and endless other pieces of memorabilia.All the while, Brazilians mix with the tourists dancing to Samba and Ferro, I certainly haven´t got the hips for Samba - confirmed by countless Brazilians!On the way we got a little confused and asked for the way to an antique place named Scenatario.With some confusion and what we thought was good Portuguese/Spanish we ended up asking locals "Donde estan sanitarios antiguas?" - translated as "Where are the antique toilets?"The Brazilians looked at us in bewilderment!!

I planned about 5 days here but it ended up being 2 weeks, mainly because I kept waking up with a hangover due to signature Brazilian cocktails - Caipirinhas, but also because there is so much to see here.Christ the Redeemer, the icon of Rio looks out over the city atop Corcovado, and was voted one of the 7 Wonders of the World in 2007, so I felt obliged to go and see it.It stands 39 metres high, arms open, presenting all that is Rio below - Copacabana, one of the most famous beaches in the world, the huge Lagoa, the world renowned favelas, the Maracana stadium and 6 million plus inhabitants buzzing around below. Dan and I (a guy I have been travelling with for almost 2 months now) went for a trip to the Maracana to see Flamengo play Avai, sitting with the crazy locals and their huge flags and drums.We also got involved with some beach footy, running rings round the Brasilians until my lungs felt like they might jump out of my body in protest of the workrate!

Some cool parties included a Favela Funk party where we were driven to a favela and ushered into a huge warehouse venue surrounded by locals (one of the lads I was with spent the night there - crazy man!) and a 80s soul place called Casa Rosa where my group of 8 were the only foreigners amongst the masses.Kinda weird seeing these guys all line dancing together though - I thought I had been zapped back in time.The last but not least were the Lapa street parties - thousands of people in the street, food & drink stalls and speaker systems dotted around the place.I had the most disgusting drink I have and will ever have there, called Campeta - Cachaca (the basis of a Caipirinha), condensed milk and stock cubes were the things I remember going in!! Eeeaagghh!

SUGAR LOAF - NOT SO SWEET.WHAT A SHAMEN.

Sitting quietly, eating lunch, minding my own business I was approached by a middle-aged woman named Tara, who I am convinced was a figment of my imagination.No-one else seemed to see her despite me sitting in the middle of a 50 person plus hostel.She introduced herself as a teacher of Shamenism, preaching the benefits of spirituality, yoga and a simple life.She looked into my eyes to determine if I had a good soul (Good news - I do), and told me there would be some big changes in the next few years.I asked if it was to do with the much hyped 2012 debacle. Apparently that is just the beginning.She set off for 1.5hours about how my life would change, how I would be constantly moving in the future, and that if I didn't go with the flow I wouldn't be able to move to the new home for the select few in Siberia.I played along not wanting to upset her or bring a curse on myself, but in hindsight why the f**k would I want to live in Siberia???!! Surely they could pick a better place to resurrect the human race after we get wiped out by a meteor/plague/zombies/whatever than a region which spends most of the year sub-zero!?!Still I did manage to get a bite of her sandwich, taking the risk of it being poisoned Red Riding Hood style.After the lecture I made my way to Sugar Loaf Mountain.When I arrived and joined the queue the sky was gleaming, perfect for the "incredible" panoramic views over Rio that everyone raves about.Taking the first cable car it was slightly cloudy but still great visibility.Then, it was if someone picked up a cloud and put it down just to piss me off - right on top of Sugar Loaf.From the bottom of the 2nd gondola you couldn't see the top and the cable car disappeared within 50 metres.Having already paid I figured I might as well go to the top so I joined the snaking queue.The view from the top was so bad I walked out and immediately joined the queue to go back down again.I think it may have been payback for taking such a big bite from that sandwich.

ILHA GRANDE

After the chaos that was Rio, we took a boat to the small island off the coast named Ihla Grande for a bit of relaxation.We had a nice hostel complete with hammocks in a bay overlooking the moored up boats and tiny town.We trekked for 2 hours to one of the best beaches I have visited named Praia Lopes Mendes and sipped Caipirinhas all day and night. Predictably, that's when I made the decision not to go home!

CAMPO GRANDE & THE PANTANAL

The Pantanal is the largest wetland in the world sitting predominately in Brazil next to Bolivia and Paraguay.To give you a sense it is the same size as France, and contains some of the most diverse species of wildlife on the planet.As I was passing I thought I´d stop by.We were a little late getting there as we picked up food poisoning in Campo Grande - that will serve me right for ordering Japanese food in the middle of Brazil I guess!We saw Coatis, Capybaras (a giant guinea pig), howler monkeys, savannah deers, toucans, macaws, loads more birds and hundreds of Caymans, managing to touch the tail on one of them with a shaky hand!Also out of nowhere, a green parrot which tried to take my head off and a huge blue macaw came to eat cake in our camp - extraordinary creatures.

Yesterday we crossed the border into Bolivia, enduring a horrible bus journey to Santa Cruz.I can only imagine what will happen in the next few weeks….roll on.

Will