BOLIVIA – NO AIR, BUT A SH*TLOAD OF SALT

Leaving brazil for Bolivia brought with it a welcome change back to Spanish (understanding again!), a hell of a lot cheaper lifestyle & a return to the wonderful existence of the Incas. On the flipside, the puzzling mix of a country richest in raw materials in South America and the poverty stricken people of Bolivia.

Our plan was to head south for Potosi and Uyuni.. Unfortunately, all roads in and out were blocked and the airports taken - no food, no fuel, no people!! I heard a number of reasons from a lack of government spending to a weird local demand for a cement factory?? WTF??! Either way we were forced to head north to the highest Capital in the world, La Paz.

LA PAZ – s*** FOOTBALL, A DEATH ROAD AND TRYING FOR PRISON

With no idea how long to wait, we spent the 1st few days struggling for breath and absorbing the capitals buzz. People sell everything – electronics, toiletries, alpaca clothing, fruit juices, medicine or shine shoes. To hide the shame to their familes of the lowest of all jobs they cover there faces with balaclavas. In my opinion they should be proud that they are trying to earn a living, not turning to a life of crime and ending up in San Pedro Prison as many do here. We spent the final 2 days trying to go and see these maniacs – IN JAIL?! You may have heard of San Pedro Prison, housing drug traffickers, murderers and rapists. Well in Bolivia most things are possible, and bribing guards to have a look inside is one of them. We tried everything to get in & be shown around by an inmate and 2 murdering bodyguards. Unfortunately, despite getting past the initial security and speaking with the ‘Colonel’ we couldn't pass due to a pending investigation for letting tourists in! Oh well, I might not have got out after all the sins this past year!! Joke Mum.

We did manage to get to the national stadium to see Bolivia play Columbia in a friendly – probably the worst game of football I have ever seen – the best part was getting the Chorizo sandwich at half time!! Still 2quid for an international match ain't bad is it??!!

The Witches Market is a collection of shop after stall after shop, selling mostly alpaca products or disturbing dried Llama feotuses!! Locals bury them under their houses for good luck. I wish they were all buried rather than filling the air with a smell that made me gag! Still tradition is tradition!

My 1st exertion apart from owning the pool table in the hostel for the week was a trip to conquer the Death Road – supposedly the Worlds Most Dangerous Road. Until 2007, when an alternative road was built it averaged 1500 deaths per year! Daredevils that we are, Dan and I left Soph on a beanbag with a book and drove up to 4700m. We tested our bikes and struggled to breathe at the increased altitude – thank god it was all downhill!! The 1st hour was all paved and with some spectacular scenery. Then came the Death Road - unpaved, bumpy, gravel covered and with shear cliffs. When you stand on parts of the road 3metres wide and look straight down you understand why!! What? 2 buses pass on this??!?!! Riding on bikes was not so scary as you are so small, but after reaching the end our guide gave us a choice...

1. Return via the safe, longer, new road or
2. Return via the 500m cliff-edged, tombstone strewn, shorter, old road...

Guess what? It was one of the most terrifying experiences of my life – i had visions of having to jump out the back window as the bus tipped over the edge, or at least get the camera to land hoping some passer by would pick up the last moments of my life! See vids...Luckily I'm still here writing this...

POTOSI SILVER MINES

The highest city in the world at 4090m. A local told me that the silver mines here claimed the lives of the population of London due to appalling conditions, equipment and safety during the Spanish reign. Being Bolivia you can take a trip into the dark depths...We 1st visited the miners market where we brought dynamite (yes you read correctly) and gifts for the miners – coca leaves, cigarettes, 96% alcohol and fruit juice. After 10mins of being underground I could hardly breathe in the dusty, tiny tunnels held up by broken wooden beams. We saw a kid barely 16 years old finishing his 10hr, no lunch shift. Shocked we pressed on giving water to passing miners and found 4 guys searching for tin, zinc and silver. One of them had an Arsenal Shirt on – what a legend! - we shared the potent alcohol with them 1st giving to Tio (The Devil/Uncle) to keep us safe while we were underground at his mercy. Coming out was like being reborn, the fresh air filling our parched lungs. I have no idea how these men work down here for years on end - I will never moan at work again.

SALAR DE UYUNI

A bumpy 7hr bus ride took us deep into nowhere, to what looked like a ghost town - named Uyuni. From here we took a tour into the 12000square km salt flats & beyond into desert, volcanoes, geysers and lakes. We saw 1000s of Flamingoes, different coloured lakes, a hardened lava flow creating a memorizing landscape, Isla Pescada covered in huge cacti – the largest 9metres tall and 900 years old, saw bubbling geysers, climbed huge wind-eroded rocks and freezed our asses off all in 3days. Terrific!

LAKE TITKAKA & FLOATING ISLANDS

Final stop in Bolivia was the 140km long, 60km wide lake straddling Bolivia and Peru. Titi means ‘Puma’ and Kaka means ‘Stone’ in Quechua, the Incan language. We paid 20 Bolivianos (2quid) for a return boat trip - we realised why when we boarded. 80 passengers & 2 pointless 75HP engines - 2hrs later we arrived! Apparently the birth place of the Incas, and scattered with ruins, a sacrificial table and a sacred rock it took 3hrs to hike the length.

From the Peru side we organized a half day trip to the floating islands of Uros. They were initially built for protection by Aymaran people solely with reeds which grow in the surrounding water. The islands last 80 years and house 5 families who continually replace the reeds. Genius.

Now I’m on a bus, 18hrs down to Nazca at lower altitudes & warmer climates. I'm heading to Columbia by road – its an epic 4day journey – BRING IT ON....