Amsterdam - Day 1

After taking an age to work out when and where we could buy tram tickets we finally got the tram to our hostel which was ironically about 5 minutes away. We only arrived in the evening so after dumping our stuff in a room which was genuinely hotter than the sun and full of sleeping Americans, we went for a wander. We ended up in Leidseplein and the first thing we saw was an all you can eat rib restaurant. I think you can work the rest out for yourself. We took them to the cleaners. After eating the equivalent of an entire farm's worth of cows each we went back to the hostel bar which was a bit disappointing and quiet.

Day 2

I was woken up at stupid o'clock in the morning by Rach today, so we could get some breakfast. Said breakfast was a bit s***. After getting over this trauma we went to the Heineken Experience which ended up being really good. We paid €16 each and it was definitely worth the money. All I really expected was a bit of a museum type effort and a beer but we ended up being there for about 3 hours. Walking through there were samples of some barley/hops water which I tried. I swear to God I was nearly sick. It was absolutely vile. At the end of the tour we got a couple of beers each, one of which Rach decided to throw on the floor.

After we left, we walked about Bloemenmarkt and Dam Square and bought a hotdog which absolutely changed my life. Honestly, it was so nice I could have cried.

We went over to Anne Frank's house but the queue stretched so far back its unlikely we'd have got in before three weeks next Tuesday.

We decided it'd be wise to book our seats for the Berlin train. Bad idea.

2 hours of waiting later we realised we could have just gone later.

After leaving the station we stumbled upon the Red Light District which was ...educational.

Day 3

Feeling like more of a man for the things I saw the previous night we set out in good spirits. We rented a pedalo, which I turned out to be a natural at steering, just as well cos Rach s*** herself at the traffic on the water. Everything was going smoothly until about an hour in when we pedalled past a big group of birds and one took it upon itself to void its bowels right over our boat. Great.

After this harrowing experience our time was up so we gave the boat back and went for a pint at a nearby bar. What we didn't know though was we'd walked into the Amsterdam Pride walk, and a massive party ensued until about midnight which was loads of fun because we completely didn't expect it.