Hi guys, its Hols again. Feeling less poetic today which is just as well as I got ripped for my last entry! And feeling pretty hyper today as it’s Els’ birthday – wooooooo!!!!!!!!

Friday was spent mostly in the car traveling to our next destination – Jaisalmer, the Golden City. Saturday we rose pretty early and made our way to the fort (yes another fort, Rajhastan is full of them) but this was no ordinary fort. Our company had arranged another tour guide who turned out to be a total and utter creep! Nonetheless, he tried his best – most of which we were either not listening to or could not understand and we weaved through the giant sandcastle with this excuse of a man. Maybe I’m a being a bit harsh but this guy had the most god-awful smelling breath imaginable and every time he stopped to relay some history, we edged away with caution but to our dismay this only encouraged him to advance towards us! In fact, at one point, we backed ourselves into a corner: our guide practically spitting on us, a young boy pestering us to buy some crappy merchandise and, out of nowhere, a zombie advanced upon us (honestly this old guy had really dodgy eyes, arms outstretched – probably begging – and was mumbling incoherently), it was literally like something out of Shaun of the Dead (or GI Joe for those of you that understand). We had a lucky escape as we swiftly ducked away, our guide merely laughing at our terror! After what seemed like the longest two hours ever, we were left to explore the fort alone, freedom at last. We lunched in an Australian restaurant that Els had spotted upon a rooftop, where we had the most amazing chocolate cake in the world and wait for it…peanut butter! Just what our tummies needed after such a rough week. That may not seem that incredible but to us we wanted to cry we were that overjoyed. We had already visited the main temples so spent much of the day wandering through the enchanting lanes, browsing the market stalls and striving for some great bargains. Again, we were fortunate enough to discover a quaint, little restaurant called Little Italy (not feeling the Indian food this day obviously) overlooking the fort which by this time was glowing in the moonlight and here we supped our Indian wine and reflected upon one of our favourite days to date. That is until some cowboy palmreader tried to tell Ellie that she had four siblings and a foreign boyfriend (well you are from up north Gravy). Needless to say we slept well that night.

Sunday, Lazar drove us out west to the desert (fairly near to the border of Pakistan in fact) where we were to enjoy our camel safari. We had barely time to adjust to our remote surroundings before we mounted our camels (with some help, well I say help but accidentally kneed this little boy in the face haha – he turned out to be really annoying anyway, it was premeditatated Karma I tell you!) and rode off into the desert. It was pretty uncomfortable but we made the best of it. Els’ camel had serious issues, irritable bowel syndrome at a guess and grunting much like a dinosaur for a good majority of our trek…bless Els, she always pulls the short straw. They kind of suited one another though in a weird sort of way – sorry Els but you know it’s true! Given the option of sleeping at the camp or in the midst of the desert beneath the stars, we obviously chose the latter, our excitement barely controllable. We arrived at our ‘spot’ where we relaxed for a few hours, Els taking advantage of the great expanse and practicing her poi, drinking tea with some geezers in turbans and, after sunset, eating a traditional Indian dinner (our improvised turbans in place) around the fire. Our guides arranged our bed consisting of a makeshift mattress and some blankets (no tent as we had expected) and we snuggled down, gazing at the clustered stars above and drifted off to the sound of Els’ camel farting rhythmically into the night…