This is going to be probably the most difficult thing I will have ever written so far. Rory and I have just returned from the lake and I need to try as best I can to put into words what I already experienced.

We began by brewing the tea at home and putting it into glass phials to bring with us (as well as snacks and such). We walked to stanwick lake which is right by Rory's house. It was a nice walk and both of us were happy chatting away and enjoying the sun setting. We reached a nice clearing with plenty of long grasses which looked pretty comfy and we sat down. We had a little discussion as to who should take the drink first and we decided Rory as he had done it before. After he had the drink he suggested I could try this changa before which is more like a glimpse. I said ok and tried it. This is where it gets tricky:

It started I lay down in the long grass and everything, each grass and seed was there and almost like diamonds or squares around them. Then the squares became more than that and forming shapes I suppose. It went on and on and felt almost like travelling through but not moving at all because everything is right there but it's infinite at the same time. I was shown a part of how far our consciousness goes and I could the connection to everyone and everything. Not just around me but everybody. I could this voice or voices but it wasn't really a voice. It was like the most supreme sounding and beautiful voice. It wasn't saying words exactly, almost like a murmuring. It was kind if alien and telepathic. I was seeing further and then it told me I wasn't ready for this and I shouldn't do the drink. I didn't understand at first and it tried to make it clear by showing me that the phial (almost like bringing my vision to it even though I was lying down and looking up) and I thought "ok". Then it was like this darkness with red, swirling or creeping in it was scary but again I had this knowledge that it is part of it and this amazing voice was saying this is too much for you to understand right now. I could hear everything and see everything. Every single blade of grass and every tiny insect buzzing around me, each and every star in the sky. I could all of them too. Even the grass which is no way to describe. I sat up and looked at Rory and around me and everything still had these squares or diamonds. I did feel fear though. It was probably right that I am going too far for me to comprehend at the moment. When I looked at the grass afterwards it was like it was coming up in flames. I told myself I should just accept I would see this stuff but then realised that it was right because I will have too much fear too see. The other thing after the beautiful voice spoke to me telepathically and the darkness swirled in it was almost like another growling busy also malicious telepathic sound like a laughing almost.

Anyway, it's not the best description. It's the best I can do. I am gonna continue with where I'm going through mediation, but I as I came back from it I said "ok" out loud as if I understood what I was told. Anyway it has been a good experience none the less. Perhaps I need to do a lot more personal deletion envy before I continue though!