09/04/14

After doing some research in BKK I had many places to hunt down. I had all their locations marked down on my phone first by taking photos of them on google maps. All I had to do was walk there. The heat was really hot and your clothes just get so sticky. I eventually found my place but was told they could only have me for one night due to arrivals for the water festival. The normal dorm was full so had to pay 50 baht more for a air conned room, but I settled for that. The wifey twice made comment that I should take a shower, once at check in and twice when she seen me again in the dorm. She said she didn't want me stinking out the dorm for the other guests lol. Note taken.

I then had annoying task of scanning loads more cheap places and finding their locations on the maps before annoyingly mooching around the whole of Chiang Mai to find them. I had loads to choose from, but most of were full due to the festival or their price had been inflated. The whole thing took hours. Eventually I found one for 100B which would take me. Got back to the nice air conned room where I was the only one there, so chilled and enjoyed it. Three other Chinese people joined me later.

10/04/14

Had an amazing nights sleep. The bed was super comfy and the cover was nice. Checked out and made my way to the guesthouse. Done another recky and booked my cookery course which would last all day tomorrow, as well as book bungy jumping for the day after. Was super excited for both. Despite it saying I wasn't allowed I washed my clothes in the sink. My whole pack was dirty and sweaty. It was a well over due wash of my clothes.

11/04/2014

Got picked up at 9:15 by a pickup with seats in the back. There were lots of other couples, 5 in total, and one Canadian guy who was solo (who thought I was Scottish or Irish). The day started by us visiting the market, where the geezer showed and explained to us many ingredients which got passed round and we all sniffed them. Was a pretty pointless exercise to be fair, and we then had time to wonder round the market ourselves for a while and rendezvous back at the pickup. All the cookery schools do this and we seen another batch of people doing the same. We then drove to the cookery school which was called Siem Rice Cooker School if I could remember. We got there and there was already people enjoying a half day course. The whole thing is run with military precision. We first sat round the table and picked which 7 dishes we would like. Each category (e.g. soup, noodles, starter, curry, curry spice, desert etc) has around 4-7 choices within that category, so the choice was unbelievable.

I picked Pad Thai noodles and a coconut soup. So off we went back outside onto the patio where we began our cooking. We all stood round the big table and put our aprons on. In front of each person was a chopping board and a big square knife, as well as all our ingredients in the middle. All dishes had the same base ingredients, so the guy would talk us through what to do and we would follow. The dishes only got different when the guy shouted out what to do for each dish. "Coconut, now cut the mushrooms…. Red curry, now cut the chillies" for example. Everyone now had their ingredients prepared, and once done we took them over to the woks. We blasted on the heat and man these things were hot!!! Sometimes when adding the ingredients you could really feel the heat, especially when poruing something in where you had to have your hand over the heat for a while. They would sometimes splash back as well a bit lol. Again the geezer shouted out the instructions and we all followed as we were instructed. The good thing with Thai food is that its so easy and quick to make, and soon enough all of our dishes soon evolved into different things. One of the people picked funky noodles, and this involved a massive flash of fire in the wok. And mannnn, it was like a bomb going off. The flames honestly touched the ceiling it was madness. Like what you see on TV but bigger and longer. It was so enjoyable and you can see why all the cookery schools are top of the activity ratings on Tripadvisor. Wish my Mam could have been there she would have loved it.

We then plated up and you of course get to eat what you make, so back to the table and we all tucked in, examining and trying each others as we went out of curiosity too. The coconut soup I made was not joking the nicest piece of food I have ate on this trip!! Hands down!! And I made it! I was skranning it down thinking ere this is literally amazing!!!! I cannot wait to go back home just to make and eat this bad boy.

Even after two dishes we seemed pretty full but on we cracked. There was a German couple who were especially bad, with the girl always unsure of herself, always asking for a second time when following an instruction. Her boyfriend/husband was equally as bad at cooking. Me and the Canadian were the best, and soon had the chopping action with the proper knives down to a tea. The German asked how to do it and bless him he was woeful lol.

We then went onto our curries, and I picked the jungle curry as the pictures looked the nicest with lots of veg etc in. Little did I know this turned out to be the spiciest curry of the lot. Since then I was the running joke and was referred to as 'Jungle' when making the dishes. Everyone would then laugh as they added soothing coconut milk and I was told to add 40 chillies!!! I never knew if he was just joking or was actually being serious, so I added 20. The guy found it amusing and kept saying 'goodluck' lol. To make the curry paste we added ground our ingredients in a pestle and mortor. Mine had so many chillies so was harder to break down, where as others quickly turned into a gooey paste. For those not quite ready the guy would say keep grinding, 5 more minutes… for me it was 'one more year'. When finished the curry was really nice and the spice didn't hit you at all at first… it then arrived with a vengeance and was so hot!! It was such a shame as the beautiful ingredients it was filled with was just wasted by having so much spice in.

Afterwards we made spring rolls and some deserts. Both of which was amazing. I chose the coconut pumpkin desert which again I cannot wait to make. It was so sweet and sugary and I gobbled it down so fast.

We then finished and we all got a cook book of the recipes and we jumped back in the taxi. Tacking to a yank couple they thought I was Australian lol. What? Back at the hotel I took a nap and when I woke I tagged along with everyone to a Muay Thai boxing match. There was a lass from our hostel who was fighting, so we all went to support her. She had a shaven head in parts and dreadlocks on the rest. She definitely would have knocked me out, so was so manly! 'Mama', who is the thai charv owner of the guesthouse who also had s*** load of gangsta rings on her hands, sorted us all out and got us 50B cheaper tickets. Nice one! I jumped on the back of this Russian dudes motorbike and off we went. We stopped by a 7-eleven to get some booze and also got super drenched en route by some early revellers who were enjoying the songkram madness, a gigantic water fight to celebrate the Thai new year. Was a big group of the on the side of the road with water guns lol. We eventually found the stadium and found the rest and sat down. Most of the bouts were international, and there was around 7 in total, starting at 9pm. It was a class sceptical and the standard was really good. An American-Canadian match up was the pick of em, and the guy put the other dude on the floor with a tremendous kick to the head, but didn't knock him out. The last fight was Tee-o's, the French lass from our hostel, up against a Thai lass. She eventually got beat after going the distance, but she fought hard. Afterwards all the lads were out for drinks but I called it a night and went back to the guesthouse.

12/04/2014

Woke up to find the Songkram madness had already begun, and I sat at the front of the guesthouse waiting for my pickup to come as Broady, this Aussie dude with dreads and Steven a Dutch guy squirted the by passers. My pick up eventually came and we drove towards the X-centre. We stopped en route and bought a water proof cover for our electronics. Great idea! We arrived and I was soon tied by the feet and the crane carriage thingy ascended into the air over a little pond at the bottom. It was the same as my last one at 50m, it didn't seem that much from the bottom but man does it look high from the top. This time I decided to mix it up a bit and jump off backwards. So there I was perched on the side with the geezer taking my photos (I opted for photos instead of a video). There was little railings to hold which was also good. I counted myself down and jumped backwards!! A perfect dive it was. I arched back and came vertical and fell towards the earth. Man what a buzz! Hands down 1million times the buzz of sky diving. I then came firing back up and I felt like a rag down as I was slung about in the air. What a buzz. I eventually came to a stop and they lowered me down. Left my signature 'Mackem Moocher 2014 FTM' on the wall as you're allowed to write messages etc with a pen.

Got taxi back and got drenched walking back as this time they didn't go all the way to your door. Obviously being nice and dry I was target number 1. On the night a French dude talked theeee most s*** to me in the dorm. Honestly just rambled on and on and on. this guy really like the sound of his own voice. The conversation ratio must have been shared 99.99999% to 0.00001%. He kept flipping between different stories and told them so off the cuff expecting me to know who the characters were in the stories. Its like dude wtf are you on about, I'm not bothered. This dude was definitely in the pseudo-intellectual category, who probs thought he was smarter than he was. I'm met then some astounding people on this trip, only a hand few who have been that 'cut above' and trust me you can tell instantly which is which, and he weren't it. Pure impostor.

13/04/2014

Woke up to find it officially Songkram, the 13th to the 15th. Mannn what a crazy day. I've never seen anything like it. I walked to a little stand to get an omelette as well as 7-eleven to get some biscuits and got drenched in the process. Chiang Mai's songkram is the biggest and best in the world and they really go to town on it. There's a big tourist and expat population and everyone joins in. The ideal thing about Chiang Mai is that downtown is surround by a gigantic moat, which means unlimited ammunition for everyone. Not that its needed. There are bins and barrels full of water which is constantly getting reffiled by the locals with their hoses. Even worse when they put ice in it. And you get a nice bucket of icey water to liven things up. The roads are jammed with the local youths all sitting in the back of pick up trucks with loads of bins of water in the back, and they squirt you as they go. Its all out war. There is honestly no rules to this carnage. As long as you're getting drenched then its all good. Hoy a random bucket of ice water over a locals head, point blank range with a super soaker to the mush… its all good. Everything's in good spirits though, and it was really funny to play fight with locals. Everyone was laughing and smiling. It so hot too, so it's welcome when you get drenched.

Went back and had a nap and woke up and got chatting to Eeti, aka ET and his mate Joel, two finish mates around my age and Arthur from Sweden. Soon two lasses arrived, one an Aussie called Brenda and a quiet Scottish girl called Heather. We all craiced on. Brenda thought I was Welsh. No one thinks I'm English. After a while, with Broady the Aussie too, we made for the streets and headed towards the park to explore. We were soaked from the word go. Some had bucket and others had water guns. It was all a mint laugh. There was even a parade going round which was cool. We had plenty of water fights, and got many tuk tuk drivers who the ultimate victim. I tried to get as many pictures as possible when daring to get my camera out of its waterproof cover, before returning home. We all sat down round the tables downstairs and had a right craic on. I love travelling! Mama also donated a bottle of whisky someone had gave her for NY as she doesn't drink and we polished it off. On the night I said bye to everyone before they headed off out. Was a shame to say bye as I had really got to know everyone that day and made some mint marras.