It appears that, through an administrative fault, you and your family were accidently released early from custody when you tried to defraud the Venice people, the country of Italy as a whole and his holiness the Pope when you tried to bunk on the ferry without paying.
We would like to to attend your nearest Venice police station as we believe we have a watertight case. Your whereabouts have been leaked to us, in fact the sightings have flooded in, mainly of you sinking a few pints in various bars around the world.
Our Scouse informant told us you might be in hiding in Venice as he said you'd "Gon der la", when we pressed him further he gave your whereabouts as "Fu Canal!", and we will be carrying out a search of the canal as soon as we can find it.
Interpol are now on the case and the nets are closing in, your chances of escape are sinking fast, but we just thought we'd float the idea of you handing yourself in, as our case might not hold water.
Your sincerely
Fabio
Chris
Steve
Are you sure you're being completely honest with us on the reason for taking the medicine?
Hope you're recovering!
George Burley
Steve
I see you have been slagging off Scottish footballers on this web-site, especially ones playing for your home town club, your beloved Plymouth Aygyle.
Well as the new Scotland Manager, firstly i would like to say they wouldn't be playing for you lot if they were any good and secondly they,ve all put on about 2 stone from eating Ambrosia!! So its your own fault.
I think Mr Smith, you need to remember "your just a small town in Devon, small town in Derr-von"
Och eye the noo!
Georgey
Brittney
Hey Steve
I have been reading your blog and you sound like you are having a swell time travelling. The stories you tell are so real, they have touched me and i felt compelled to write you a short get well messege.
My own personal travel plans have hit a snag, i had planned to visit Europe but my mom fell of her mobility scooter and i had to stay and care for her. I guess you would know what that felt like.
So good luck for the future travels and if you are ever in the Beverley Hills drop by for a hot tub.
Brit xx
Stewart
Steve
I think all these storys are a lie.
What with your dressing up, Golden showers, riding a bike and all the holes you have entered I am sure you have been warming up for Thailand.
I bet those Tshirts dont fit and where they lambetta? Anyway enjoy Thailand get laid and keep on riding.
Stewart
Topper
Steve
Sounds like your having a right laugh with that motorbike mate. Look on the bright side at least after you fell off you didn't get pissed on by a load of pigs in a people carrier!!
At least you are ok and on balance (don't mention the old gits balance he can't even stay on a motorbike at 30mph) you have enjoyed Cambodia.
So you are off to Thailand next. Hopefully you will have a great time there too. Very good choice to fly down to Phuket, for one minute there i thought you were going to hire a pogo stick and bounce there!
Keep enjoying yourself Steve.
I'm off to the Gym now for a sparring session with tubby "tubs" fatcheeks!
Topper
Steve
Hi Jay,
Cant take pics as my wrists hurt too much! also I dont like the sight of blood...well I do actually..its the sight of MY BLOOD I DONT LIKE!!!! everyone elses is fine by me.
Good to hear youre taking the diet as seriously as ever mate! Youll be telling me youve given up the fags and mobile next!! ha ha ha ha !!
Couldnt go to hossie, as my Lonely planet book said they are all really crap in Cambodia and odds high you would come out with somethng even worse!!! Have travel insurance but not 100% it covers me for a bike accident. You know what b******s these insurance co are like. bet the small print says I should have got their written permission first or else they will class biking as a "high risk activity"whatever for them to wiggle out of a claim!
I am fine mate, just hands and ego brused... more maybe my age... the blog most probably makes it sound worse than in was/is.
I agree a few days recouperating on the beach is just what Dr Smith is ordering for himself!
All the best mate..hope youre well and Jen too.
Steve
Steve
Hi Winny,
Thanks for the "get well"message...I am on the mend now cheers. Still feel a bit guilty as a good rider sees all and I didnt see that dumb B***H!
See the Reds have overtaken the Gunners....so your week has been bad too eh?
Smiffies world tour will be back on track, a few cuts aint gonna stop me!
Cheers again
Steve
Jay
Steve,
when did you become Eddie Kidd? Leave the stunt driving to the professionals mate, you should have taken her out and drove on!
Actually mate, I'm really disappointed in you. You have a bad fall, come on here and tells us all about the gruesome injuries, and there is not one.... not one! photo of them - can't beleive it mate, I was expecting at least one of your scabby knee and some of your inflated wrists
I assume you have travel insurance, so you should have gone straight to hospital to get it all sorted mate, never mind filling up at the chemist.
Glad to hear your feeling a bit better now, but it'll take another week or two to settle down I guess, and then a while longer for the scars to heal, so its a perfect excuse for you to lie by the pool and drink mai-ties for a week.
I fell of something the other week as well mate - me diet, although it'll only take another bout of that flu thats going around to get me back to me fighting weight... er... assuming I was that american boxer tubby "tubs" fatcheeks, or whatever his name was...
Anyway matey, glad you're ok and on the mend, try to avoid the potholes, women drivers er.. and ladyboys you told me about!
Jay
Winny
Smiffie,
Sorry to hear about the accident fella. And you thought it was dangerous riding bikes in Jersey ! You weren't filming at the time was you as you could post it on here for us all to see ! ;-)
Seriously fella, hope all is well and isn't impacting too much on Smiffies tour of the world.
Michael
Steve
hi all....more pics and video updated.....think I am up to date now with everything. its Sunday today so decided to get up straight again. God sometimes even I get bored with my organisational skills!!
I am chillin today and looking on BBC website weather report think you are all chillin too!!!
