I sat by the Ocean

Federation square, southport, Brighton beach, prahran market,st Kilda beach

12.11, 13.11

At last the weather is reflecting the Aussie dream with Wednesday predicted as a balmy 28 degrees.

In an effort to fully embrace Aussie lifestyle I headed to a free yoga session in Federation square.... What a crap idea that was... hot yoga in Australian heat and a no longer flexible female... Maybe not.

For some reason being at the opposite side of the world has give me the belief things which are problematic in the UK will be fine here... Ie- vodka drinking... cider drinking....yoga....regrettably this is untrue and painful to undertake!

Making the most of the glorious sunshine (someone whispered it was snowing in Christchurch beejesus!)
I left the comfort of St Kilda (and the tram ) and began an endearing bus adventure (not so popular in Melbourne: back to Aussie lies and misdirection) Heading towards Brighton Beach....nope not city halls finest 60's throwback but the home of Melbournians rich and famous...(Well Shane Warne)

It was beautiful,calm and tranquil sea ,handfuls of sailing boats cruising ( a photo tells a 1000 words- see those instead of me drabbling on)

I had a true wanderlust day... Gluttony (epic cheesecake action) self indulgence (epic Novel reading) and fulfilment (beach-baking style). The turquoise waters even tempted me in for a dip... And no I didn't just need a wee (Aussie affirmation time: excellent regular provisions of toilets... Never no need to sea wee again)

There's even no need to be shark vigilant... Victorians are apparently a shark less society (mmm didn't amity island advertise the same??) jellyfish however stream through the water like Dexter on pussay patrol, great big blobs of pain. Just a little off putting and Following the great jellyfish sting of 04 I'm not sure I'm ready to relive that nightmare....

My wonderlust was sporadically disturbed by a true Shelia abusing the local children hollering (repeatedly) 'your annoying the craaapp ooouuuttt of me'.

And after a good hour I couldn't sit still any longer and exploration Brighton began.
Brighton is:

1- mansions :each one blatantly built to order: 3 storey masses of whitewashed walls and mirrored glass resting between European brick with feature turrets and a raised wooden bungalow. It looks contrary (some may say a mess) but I like non-uniformity- character!

2: coves: beautiful tiny little nooks each one completely different to the rest

3: elderly snobs in the local fashion- a peak cap - yay- (three elderly Bruce's complimented me on my happiness...it's radiating out...yoga :)

4: boat huts.... Not the boat storing type (that's too easy) champagne storing huts, each one Individually decorated in bright paint and vintage sea themes. My future cheating husband needs to own one of these and I may just forgive him.

5: the views of Melbourne centre:
it looms majestically with a faintly magical air looking like the emerald city in the a wizard of Oz. (brainwave Aus/ Oz is this an actual connection I am unaware of? Google?)

6: no shops... Not even a single corner effort was spied. I suppose the rich don't corner shop... Servants and chefs to do that for them...maybe I'll stick around and get myself a sugar daddy

A lot of people said that Melbourne beaches are nothing in comparison to Sydney... In some respects their right.(It's like comparing Newquay to Whitby) but when you don't live near the sea and then you do... Then it's pretty awesome... As I obviously radiated... Singing... Skipping along... Smiling to myself.... DICK!

By hopping between the bays I unpurposefully walked 25km of the 35km 'beast slaughtering trek' (if I wasn't such a happy p**** my feet would have moaned a lot)

Wednesday evening provided another prime example of the world telling me not to bother hostel cooking with the infantile's.... As part of my.not.on.holiday.stop.eating.out.spending money.andgettingfat. campaign I had supermarket sweeped a whole range of edible meats and salads that were just asking to be.... binned!!! Because they were all in date? Because they were appropriately labelled? Because your a povo and decided to steal my meat for your starving children? Stupid fridge cleaning lady 'I'll be blown if I've thrown it away' well you have because there it is ... In the bin....it's a shame I can't get angry.

The evening ended with a few light 'goodbye' beverages in the bar with my Manc- Cheshire boys discussing the joys of tattoos and 1984 (book not year.. Youths.) This daily drinking habit which is developing goes against all my natural binge efforts!

Thursday.... Final day in this glorious country..... For now. Pulling out the trusty Map I wrote my final 'to see list' (foxy notebook from a foxy fods)
And was pretty pleased with the 'Melbourne must see' that I have in fact 'seen'.

Had a venture down Chapel st; an unusual array of commercial, independent, mainstream, multicultural... well... life.....
There's no particular 'theme' to this area... Maybe just zeitgeist-y.

Walking down the street I bumped into Mr Suit, who I'd had a brief kitchen interlude with on day 1 of hostel life (non traveller- job seeker) so we sat outside of a very nice establishment for a breakkie of poached egg/ hollandaise/ spinach on a roastie (don't try and posh up a hashbrown). It's quite cool how 'special friends' pop up just walking along. After fobbing the waitress of with some English change... Hey I was 10p short...

We swung by Prahran food market- foodie heaven; it's a shame hostels have such s*** cooking facilities because the the epic concoctions I could rustle up ( and make Dr Douglett jealous) would be mind blowing.

And that was it it... I had completed my Map.... Apart from the one secret childhood vice which would drag anyone to Melbourne... Ramsey Street! Unfortunately Karl with a K Kennedy wasn't completing the meet and greet this week... (Who the frig is Nate kinski??) so I gave this up as a bad job... After all what is neighbours without Karl.

one last baking session.... I will be aboriginal I will be aboriginal
... Until I get to New Zealand... Then I suppose Maori will suffice!

Technically I then had to break in to my hostel.... Having had to check out at 10 - hand key in etc-my lovely Manc-Cheshire roomies swore blind 'yeah leave your bag... Yeah we'll wait in for you... Yeah we'll let you in room to shower' should know better than to trust a Manc!

Hovering around front reception (this Hostel advertises itself as a hotel to some people? Blind people?) I was about as sly as Paul Hollywoods (non) flirting...darting up the stairs, when someone came down. I hammered on my ex room preying someone was in... Luckily they were....
German shadow....
Arrggghh!!!!!!!

Half an hour later... Clean and fresh I headed to the bar... Oh hello Manc- Cheshire lads (shock/ horror) apparently they'd been waiting in the bar all day for me... How painful that must have been... Oh well Gin and apple for the road....don't mind if I do.....

The Sydney V Melbourne debate has reached no conclusion... Sydney is the finished article polished and preened appealing to the inner snob and all things beautiful in life....
Melbourne is rough round the edges, needs a little refinement, dirty in areas, easy but a hell of lot of potential ... Oh wait actually that sounds like me :)

Australia V England debate

- baaaddd baaadd fashion
+ epic trains and trams (I'll be tram spotting next )
- Aussie timescales (especially for said trains and trams)
+ art/ water features everywhere possible, on the roof? Yeah why not
- painfully slow conversations k I l l I n g b r a I n c e l l s
+ brilliant no censor/ banter advertising campaigns... Don't sleep around - sleep with us (IBIS)
- flies (in Sydney) eyeball and mouth death mission!
+ free water everywhere... Water fountain every 5m...sure, ice water provided in the restaurants as standard... Sure
- Australians......
+ sun, sea, beach!!!!!

So Australia is done
everyone was right
I was wrong. (Make the most of this admittance)
definately worth the return
I may cry (first time in 2 weeks)

Next stop New Zealand, hello Christchurch!!!

Loves

S xxxxxxx