Club tropicicana drinks are free/
Do they know it's Christmas time at all?

16.12-22.12

Bula!

Bula, Bula after 5 days of pure paradise tropical bliss the Fijians (and their word of choice) have won the love. It's taken 9 weeks but brown girl in the ring status has now been achieved and Christmas is unrecognisable. (Hence the title and a long overdue Wham)

Fiji is the dogs balls... If you like that tropical island at Hollywood level (and who wouldn't); Castaway Meets jaws meets finding Nemo meets Blue lagoon... Expectations were high and damn did Fiji deliver.In this beautiful place I fell in love, was proposed to and got married...unfortunately not with the Same guy.

Apparently they're over 3000 islands (maybe 33,000 but Fijian is hard to understand unless it's Bula) regardless, the 3 inhabited and numerous ones viewed (from the boat) are diverse, fabulous and tailor to there own USP; honeymooners, party, kids, recluse... Islands for all.

The standard of Fiji was set by the
plane journey and didn't fail throughout.

Pacific air is retro flying at it's best. Upgraded to extra leg room(smile and look poor)
Upgraded to George... the gentle giant rugby playing God, Fijian/ Scottish (standard racial breeding) after 3 hours of mindless plane banter - Smitten... Me!
(*A 'date' was arranged for day 2... no phone/ wifi (1st world failures) meant arrangements were made for old school hostel collection. Yay for travelling dates! Unfortunately only after checking in did I learn the once a day Ferry departed at 7am so Apologies George... We'll always have the plane.)

Expectations increased landing in tiny Nadi airport.... greeted by a guitar strumming, bula shirt wearing quartet and SUN!! The Pilot disembarked and baggage claimed with us paupers and cabin crew arranged free transfers.... Good day.

Sleepover 1: Nadi

Hostel booked 'smugglers cove'
Hostel checked in 'smugglers cove'
Hostel stayed in 'Bamboo beach' Hey it's Fiji
Booked a 32 bed dorm (with trepidation)
My room had 8 beds (numbers +Fijians = bad maths)
bed 34 was assigned to me... In a room with Beds numbered 1-9...To clarify in an 8 bed dorm?!?!

Nadi was briefly viewed by taxi, a little dirty, a little like India, a little dusty but fine. Being based at the beach this affected me not and day 1 passed in a haze of Hammock times, beach times, laze times sporadically interspersed by a sea dip. Glorious Bliss! (Minus Mr Canadian Joana whose incessant whining questioned the Canadian visa application)

Evening1:
Attempting to fraud wifi (Plexy time) inadvertently led to the disclosure I was in the wrong room.
Manager: 'you paid 32 bed you have to move'
I smiled, sucked it up, they moved me...
To a 9 bed room with air con and a bottom bunk
Hey it's Fiji.

Following a divine meal, Fiji fish yes! Post tea was passed in an intense game of Junior monopoly with Donny Darko (Brazillian ravisher) until his airport taxi came.

Passing out at 6pm (Everything to do with 5am start nothing to do with sunstroke) I was shocked awake at
11pm.pitch black.figure leaning over my bed. Covering my mouth....
Muffling a scream I all but died of fright until pearly whites and 'hey I missed my plane' in a brazillian hush indicated the return of Donny Darko. Happens to the best of us.

Fear being a brilliant stimulant, ended all thoughts of sleep so after the 5 hour nap Channelling my northern hardcore bird I headed to the bar. 11pm.... Closing time!

Whilst the bar may have shut, Kava time was always available.
Nope not the sparkling,sweet, nectar as previous bloggage escapades indicate (ginger K) but the Fijian plant (roots) soaked in water ('maturing process') Served in a 3ft replica coconut (no reason) drank with halved coconut (questionable reasons); a drink to induce psychedelic qualities, numb the mouth and probably pass on clap (shared cup by all) wouldn't advise... looks like soil water; tastes like soil.

Post midnight hours were spent singing along to the soothing lulls of Fijian guitar strumming and lullabies under the stars... Pretty sweet situation apart from a Deutschen psycho 'finger hearting' across the guitar ;)

Sleepover 2/3/4 Mantery Island

Early start (and George abandonment) Fiji got expensive crazy quickly; Hostels £8- £10 cheap. ferry to the islands £125 outrageous!
Unplanned, unprepared emergency internet bank transfer.... Raahhh
(Santa money for Christmas please)

The ferry was pretty slick for a non western world (not £125 slick) but first island was the golden shores of Mantery, recommended by BFF it was a little slice of paradise!

First two days I socially reclused myself (with desert island ease) the dorm was comfortable and quiet and having spent the past 9 weeks having (morjorively) same same conversations with strangers god damn It was good being alone. Baking, gentle swim, snorkel (fishes!) devouring books (3 in 2 days) and sleeping... Summed up the pleasurable existence.

However by day 3, the social butterfly was ready to escape and mingle; the tiny resort heaved with 20 actual people to be new besties with! Swinging balls and Lady producer provided most entertainment and joined in naked sea bathing. American dad and Video blogger increased the dinner time bants. Fijian food is pretty fine, Mantery island resort amazing, remoteness leads to 'all inclusiveness' normally I hate this these 4 course, 3 daily meals I did not!

Friday the last of Mantery provided the strange weird entertainment I am becoming accustomed too: a random goat appeared on the island (can goats swim??) a dozen large oil containers casually floated into the bay (day food delivery) retrieved by a dog and the island was invaded by million of tiny black caterpillars... Who managed to get everywhere... Yes everywhere...

Saturday time to move on; dubious about the voyage to next stop Beachcoomber (bad rep with fellow island hoppers) I wasn't ready to leave paradise especially with the arrival of my favourite Ho!

Sleepover 5/6 Beachcoomber

Beachcoomber is described as the party island of Fiji. Arriving on the jaguar of ferries; the rains came down and the floods came up... Welcome committee check... Welcome drink check...
Party island.... No check! approximately 20 people (inc. children) on the island + the rain= the dire atmosphere... Well until big momma came along with her microphone.

3 Bulas, a mini disco, fire eaters and half an hour later it was apparent party debauchery was not on the cards, however an epic night time beach volley ball challenged ensured in which naturally I was on the winning team but should not be advised braless.

Day 2 island 2: pretty much consisted of sunbathe routine until I was proposed too; Mr wannabe Hawaiian in the sea, with a smashed plate (masquerading as a shell) unusual and romantic who could say no...The proposal was accepted the smashed plate was not.

The whole travelling family then recreated a typical Christmas, on the beach, true Fijian tree, tinsel, Santa, lot job... The sun, sand and sea really heightened the Christmas spirit.

If night 1 was throwback Tenerife night 2 upped the game with actual crab racing... It was time to but the party back into beachcoomber!!
3pm the causal monsoon descended on the island. If in doubt on a rain sodden, empty island: DRINK

Teaching the Fijians sangria and espresso martini a legacy has been left.

'Someone' (obviously not me;) decided fun times would be naked at midnight sea action...catching fire. A group of us charged in for some skinny dipping extrodinaire time.
Big mama and cronies did not appreciate our white ass' in their sea and after repeated shoutings to get out and spotlight action- we continued to ignore them.

If the in sea Proposal was romantic the in sea wedding was even better; 8 naked people and a full ceremony hears hoping naked vicar was not ordained or I'm now Mrs Stone ;)

Most people on their wedding night dance, drink and mingle, me and Mr Keith Keally, stole a turtle, saved a dying drunk man and double fisted... American style... Google it... There's no British sexual undertones

Final Fiji day... And a little sadness descended, unlimited sun would be no more and another country down; 3 days until Christmas though and now LA so actually when I say sad I mean not a full genuine 100% Beverly Hills smile sad....

Time to time travel anyways; see you 8 hours in your future which is 12 hours in my past.

Massive big brown girl loves

S xxxxx