Making up for all those Spring Breaks I never had due to attending a women's college...

Vang Vieng is a seriously bizarre joint. Once upon a time, a few enterprising backpackers discovered the place - and it is beautiful, with a tranquil river meandering through huge limestone karsts, filled with caves and lagoons throughout. So it became the 'secret' backpacker destination in which to chill out and experience the 'real Laos'. More and more people find out about the spot and it becomes more mainstream, but still a travelling rite of passage, to go 'Tubing' - hang out in the sun, next to the river, go to the bars that had set up on the riverbanks and float downstream in an inner tube. No longer the 'real Laos' but still a fun place to spend a couple of days.

And in some cases do what many backpacking nomads do from time to time (or more frequently than that), which is partake in recreational drugs.

I approach Vang Vieng with a bit of trepidation, having heard about what it was like (it does have a certain reputation on the travelling circuit) and having been warned by people in their late 20s that if you felt old in Nha Trang, wait till you get to Vang Vieng. Oh good.

My bus arrived in the late afternoon, so after finding a place to sleep I walked around the pretty small town. It's falang city - Lao for 'white dude' - and the first thing you notice is that cafe after cafe after cafe...

...shows Friends...

...constantly...

I mean, you hear about this but until you see a bunch of stoned kids giggling (or spacing out) through whatever that wacky Phoebe has done now, it doesn't quite strike you just how strange it is. I get cafes showing tv programs - even 'marathons' - but why Friends?? SO weird. Some mix it up a bit and show The Family Guy - which is at least clever and entertaining.

So I decided I was far too sober for this town and have a quiet night with Linda (who I met in South Vietnam and ran into here), my requisite Beer Lao - a - day - keeps - mosquitoes - away, and fell asleep at 9pm wondering how long I'd last here.

Braving this Tubing thing

Not knowing what to expect, I take a deep breath, put on my bathers & sunscreen, and sign up to hire a tube. For the bargain price of 55,000 kip, plus 60,000 kip deposit, you can have a tube for the day. I wasn't even the oldest person in the free tuk tuk ride to the start of the tubing place - also the start of the bars. We pile out and I joined Tom & Laura, an English couple, in the first beer of the day, and we soon met Hannah and Matt as well as Maddie and Jasper from Australia. We were all new to the whole scene as well so we decided to figure it out together. None of us knew what to expect but it wasn't what we got...

So - what exactly does tubing involve?

Quick version - You float down the river from bar to bar (never more than 20 meters away from each other so the 'tubing' concept is really just peripheral), being towed in by the bar staff who chuck ropes out to you.

More detailed version - The tubing start point is essentially bar after bar after bar all advertising free whiskey shots, free bananas, cheap buckets of alcohol, and various activities involving some combination of swings, slides, zip lines and/or mud. Some people even get into an inner tube.

Let's face it version - For the most part, it's a destination for 20 year old mostly Australian uni students to spend their days getting hammered by the river, writing on their body in magic marker or spray paint (often things that would make the average porn star blush, and resulting in a number of Laugh-In lookalikes), drinking buckets of alcohol, flinging themselves off zip lines and impossibly high swings (public indemnity what?), in between dancing to the usual mix of Bob Marley, AC/DC, Black Eyed Peas, Lady Gaga and Bryan Adams in bikinis and board shorts. Most would suffice as extras in a 'girls gone wild' video. Then they move on to the island bars to dance until all hours of the morning after ingesting hallucinogenic mushroom shots. Waking up late morning, they eat off their hangover with breakfast to Friends and do it all over again. Lather, rinse, repeat - sometimes for the better part of several months (seriously! Met one girl who had been there for 3 months and just extended her Laos visa for a further 5...her parents must be so proud...)

We ended up having a great couple of days actually - as a friend of mine who did it last year said "it's a bit juvenile, but it's damn fun" - and I realised that you can, in fact, quite easily avoid the less desirable elements of the experience. I went off one swing (ok it took a few ascents after getting to the platform and realising just how high it was), played mud volleyball, relaxed in the sun, and made some great new friends.

So!My tips for the mature-aged tubing participant!

1. Timing is everything - too early and you miss the party, too late and you're too sober and/or too old to get into it.

2. Tiger balm is excellent for post-swing bruising.

3. Mud volleyball isn't as easy as it looks.

4. No one actually tubes down the 3.5km track of river to town - it takes too long, too much effort (dry season = weak current), and too likely that you'll miss the 6pm cut off for returning your tube and therefore being refunded your full deposit.

5. In fact, you don't really even need a tube.

6. 2 days is fun, 3 days is excruciating.