Uganda

It is completely random

We think that there is usually one word that could describe one's perception of a country. It sums up all the little cameos that only you witness; the little plays that occur far from other's eyes. All these things add up into that single word. That when you hear it again, weeks, days, even years later, it brings back all the memories associated with it.We thought that RANDOM did it for us in Uganda. So many random, out of place, out of synch things happened that left us blinking, shaking our heads and asking, "Did we just see what we thought we just saw? Because that was so random." What would you expect to see on a bus? Driver, ticket seller/collector/checker, passengers and luggage are the obvious. But in Uganda, it is completely random what else there is! Did we really just see the Post Office bus load a whole bag of coconuts or potatoes or plantain or ……..(insert whatever is appropriate here). Although it is just buses described here, there were so many acts of randomness in every aspect of being here that it would bore you happy readers to tears!

You only have to sit on a express bus in Uganda to appreciate this. For those that don't know, there are two long-distance buses in Africa - express and time. A time bus will leave at a certain time. Regardless of whether it is full or not. Generally more expensive, safer and a more reliable form of transportation. An express bus, on the other hand, is one that leaves when it is full. Full is best defined as when there is zero space left in the isles for standing room! (And you thought full was when all the seats where taken? Fool!). These buses are identified by the number of touts generally attempting to employ any tactic to get you on board. We have seen some minor cases of kidnapping taking place! A time bus doesn't shear years off your life, by scaring the sweet bejesus out of you with their driving antics. Or any other road user. Especially on Ugandan roads. Needless to say, time buses are very few and far between. Anyway, because buses are the most reliable (a very loose term of relativity) form of getting around Uganda, and selling is what most Ugandans do, then a bus full of waiting, compliant consumers is just what non-travelling salespeople are after!It is on a waiting bus that you can get any of the following items (we do not claim to have a complete list, and it is actually likely that we have missed some things off)(bear in mind that if you are selling something on the bus, then there are others too doing the same thing WHILE people are getting on and off the bus. Don't forget that the isle in the middle of a bus is really designed for one person standing normally):Jackets, ties, shirts (t-shirt and long sleeve office), trousers and jeans, socks, shoes, pens, pencils and other necessary stationery, belts, handkerchiefs, tissue paper, hats - all types, bags, wallclocks, watches, plugs, electric cable, electric extention cords and so many plastic trinkets of chinese origin that they blur into one homogenious lump of rubbish in my recollection. All clothes and shoes can be tried on right there. And every price is negotiable!

Not to be outdone are the food and beverage sellers. If Marks and Spencer sells clothes here, then they will sell their food too! Softdrinks, water, cigarettes, matches, snacks and chocolates, bake things that I couldn't identify and some that I could. But these are not the only food sellers that the bus encounters. Every now and again, you roll up into a town where they are waiting. Bus windows are opened and goods are pushed up for examination. A bag of oranges anyone? I have these avocados the size of a football, going cheap. How about some kebabs of liver or beef or chicken? Maybe a samoosa or two. No? Then what about a chapati? Ok. What sort of nuts do you want? Peanuts or cashew or maccadamia? All the usual chips, drinks and biscuits also make an appearance too. For being on a bus, getting from point A to B, it seems completely random to think that it was possible to get a full (although completely mismatched) suit on a bus. In fact, you never have to leave it at all! Just perfectly random!